Need some advice

[_outcast2005]

I was previously an inactive Mormon, but recently I went to the bishop and am in the process of repenting of my grievous sins. I started going to a singles' ward at the invitation of a friend that is visiting for the summer. He is a convert to the Church and served a mission. I have feelings for him and I am just wondering, when is a good time to tell someone that you are in a relationship with that you are bisexual and have had relationships with women before? Is there ever a good time to do that? I am also wondering whether the doctrine that homosexuals shouldn't get married in the Church also applies to bisexuals. Thoughts?

[_Yoda]

I was previously an inactive Mormon, but recently I went to the bishop and am in the process of repenting of my grievous sins. I started going to a singles' ward at the invitation of a friend that is visiting for the summer. He is a convert to the Church and served a mission. I have feelings for him and I am just wondering, when is a good time to tell someone that you are in a relationship with that you are bisexual and have had relationships with women before? Is there ever a good time to do that? I am also wondering whether the doctrine that homosexuals shouldn't get married in the Church also applies to bisexuals. Thoughts?

First of all, welcome to the board! :-)

I guess I have some questions to ask before I give you advice.

First of all, are you committed to becoming an active Church member again?

Do you think that you could be happy in a monogamous relationship with a man?

[_stemelbow]

I was previously an inactive Mormon, but recently I went to the bishop and am in the process of repenting of my grievous sins. I started going to a singles' ward at the invitation of a friend that is visiting for the summer. He is a convert to the Church and served a mission. I have feelings for him and I am just wondering, when is a good time to tell someone that you are in a relationship with that you are bisexual and have had relationships with women before? Is there ever a good time to do that? I am also wondering whether the doctrine that homosexuals shouldn't get married in the Church also applies to bisexuals. Thoughts?

For some folks, no time is a good time for that, I'd wager. I'm not relationship expert but being a bit forthright and honest from the get go seemed to always work for me, particularly with things you might guess would be problematic to the other.

As for getting married, te Church endorses marriage, officially, between one man and one woman. It does not matter if that man or woman has sexual feelings for those of the same sex as long as those feelings don't lead to action.

[_LDS truthseeker]

For some folks, no time is a good time for that, I'd wager. I'm not relationship expert but being a bit forthright and honest from the get go seemed to always work for me, particularly with things you might guess would be problematic to the other.

Problem is that may be all he thinks about once you tell him. Maybe if you tell him now it's a big deal but if he gets to know you better, then maybe it's nothing. You shouldn't be defined by this action.

[_MrStakhanovite]

hahaha- this is gonna be an awesome thread.

[_stemelbow]

Problem is that may be all he thinks about once you tell him. Maybe if you tell him now it's a big deal but if he gets to know you better, then maybe it's nothing. You shouldn't be defined by this action.

I can see that being true too. Its that some folks would feel all the more lied to the longer you wait. Its kinda personal and subjective, in my mind. For me its always easier to be upfront about things, ableit I never did have this type of experience so take that into consideration.

[_LDSToronto]

I was previously an inactive Mormon, but recently I went to the bishop and am in the process of repenting of my grievous sins. I started going to a singles' ward at the invitation of a friend that is visiting for the summer. He is a convert to the Church and served a mission. I have feelings for him and I am just wondering, when is a good time to tell someone that you are in a relationship with that you are bisexual and have had relationships with women before? Is there ever a good time to do that? I am also wondering whether the doctrine that homosexuals shouldn't get married in the Church also applies to bisexuals. Thoughts?

I don't know - when's the best time to tell someone they've just won the damn lottery?

Am I the only one thinking this, people?!?! Stak? PP?!

H.

[_Hoops]

Honestly, I'm unclear why it's any of his business.

[_zeezrom]

I am also wondering whether the doctrine that homosexuals shouldn't get married in the Church also applies to bisexuals. Thoughts?

First of all, your picture is blurry. Can you get a better one?

If you want to marry a dude then later on discover you want to kiss a girl, I think it might be okay to get married. But I think you should first sit your boyfriend down and play Katy Perry's song to see what his reaction is. If his reaction is positive, tell him you feel like singing that song too. If his reaction is still positive, tell him you would like to make a phone call to a girl and invite her over. If things are still looking up, you just continue down that path and see how it goes. If you start to see negative responses from your boyfriend, then you know you need to pause and discuss.

I've heard of Mormon swingers in Davis county so I know it happens.

If you want to try and marry a dude and a girl, then you have a problem.

[_Everybody Wang Chung]

I was previously an inactive Mormon, but recently I went to the bishop and am in the process of repenting of my grievous sins. I started going to a singles' ward at the invitation of a friend that is visiting for the summer. He is a convert to the Church and served a mission. I have feelings for him and I am just wondering, when is a good time to tell someone that you are in a relationship with that you are bisexual and have had relationships with women before? Is there ever a good time to do that? I am also wondering whether the doctrine that homosexuals shouldn't get married in the Church also applies to bisexuals. Thoughts?

I don't know - when's the best time to tell someone they've just won the damn lottery?

Am I the only one thinking this, people?!?! Stak? PP?!

H.

I imagine that this will be his reaction: