The Salt Lake Expositor exposes Thomas Monson (hypothetical)

[_daheshism]

What if.....

President Eyring and other promient Church leaders, including two members of the Quorum of Seventy, printed a newspaper in Salt Lake City titled "The Salt Lake Expositor" claiming that Thomas Monson had dozens of secret "wives" including his own foster daughters, girls as young as 14, and the wives of other men?

What if....

President Uchdorf left the Church and published his own magazine claiming that Thomas Monson was a liar, fornicator, adulterer, and "fallen prophet".

What if...

Thomas Monson orders Church Security to gather all copies of the Expositor they can find, burning all copies, and break into the printing office of the Salt Lake Expositor and destroy the printing press in the street with sled-hammers.

Then Thomas Monson comes out and claims that HE (Monson) is innocent, he never had more than one wife, he has never committed adultery or fornication, and that Eyring and Bendar are liars, adulterers, fornications, counterfeiters, thieves, of the "blackest die".

But then Thomas Monson is arrested for destroying the property of others, and he tries to escape to Mexico, but the pleas of his family and friends, accusing him of being a coward, bring him back to face the music. He goes into jail to await trail, but writes letters to LDS Church Security pleading with them to secretly come and rescue him (illegally) from jail. He keeps a six-shooter with him somebody has smuggled to him. Finally, a mob comes into the jail and shoots his brother, and Thomas Monson fires back wounding two of the mob, but the mob finally kills him.

Then, years later, after Monson is dead, his successor informs all the Mormons that Thomas Monson in FACT DID have many wives, including his own foster daughters and the wives of other men, but that was "OK" because an Angel With Flaming Sword came to Monson and told him he had to take all these young sexy women for secret wives or the LORD would destroy him. I mean, c'mon, if an Angel has a sword to your throat, you've gonna go say: "Nope, I can't have sex with those sexy-as-hell young women, you can kill me if you want, but I just can't do it!" What else can you do? If God tells you to have sex with sexy young women, what choo gonna do? And the fact that Monson lied about all this is "OK" too, because the LORD commanded him to do THAT too ("Lying for the Lord").

What would YOU think of Thomas Monson after all this?????
This is actually what happened with Joseph Smith. Change:

Thomas Monson to "Joseph Smith"

President Eyring to "William Law"

President Uchdorf to "Sidney Rigdon"

Salt Lake City Expositor to "Nauvoo Expositor"

Mexico to "Iowa Territory"

[_Simon Belmont]

Darrick becomes a positive contributor to society (hypothetical)

[_daheshism]

Simon,

Had I "money" I would contribute to society. I would not spent all my money like most rich Mormons do: on glorious homes and fancy cars and boats and jewelery, while there are hungry people still in the world.

I have tried to "benefit" society with "ideas"; such as the Highway Marshall Program. Volunteers to follow drivers after they come out of bars. If they "swerve" all over the road, to inform police. I sent this idea out to perhaps 100 police depts and sheriff dept. I think "two" implemented such programs: just changing the name of it and the chiefs taking credit for it (that's ok by me...I don't care about taking credit for it). Thus far, arrests of drunk drivers in those jurisdictions have gone up, and deaths and injuries from drunk driving in those jurisdictions have gone down; without adding one dollar to the budgets of those deparments.

I have sent more "ideas" about other things that would greatly benefit society, "if" those in power "cared". I discovered most of those in power DO NOT CARE to improve society. They are simply seeking to IMPROVE their own "lot". This is true of Mormons as well, most of them to be sure.

One idea I submitted was to get Driving Schools to teach students to PUT ON THEIR EMERGENCY FLASHERS when at un-controlled cross-walks, because I've seen many times pedestrians at uncontrolled cross walks (no signs, no signals) almost get run over. Anyway, I submitted this idea, and it went no where. Why? Because....people in power don't CARE unless it supports them FINANCIALLY in some way. Now, if I donated to their re-election fund, they make take notice and implement my ideas. But I GAVE THEM NO MONEY, so they don't care about my idea. My idea will save lives, but, again, they don't care. THEY CARE ABOUT MONEY AND POWER...not saving lives.

So, yes, Simon, I do spend time and effort to try to help society, with ideas. I do give to the poor, but I am also poor. I do give my "mites" to the poor. I do feed the hungry. I do clothe the naked, but on a very small scale, because I'm very poor myself. I try to "improve" society in other ways, with ideas to reduce death and injury, and I have in a few cases--even though others take credit for it. And I don't care, let them take credit for it. I care nothing about getting "credit" for it. I care only if my ideas are used.

I try to help Mormon SOCIETY by offering suggestions to the Brethren over the last 30 years such as....

*Don't buy documents from Mark Hofmann.
*don't' trust Mark Hofmann
*Make missionaries wear bike helmets
*Let missionaries ride mountain bikes which are much safer than 10-speeds (you hit a pebble in a 10-speed and you're going over the handle-bars---as I did 20 times on my mission)
*Appoint Senior Elders to drive missionaries instead of letting missionaries drive themselves
*Loan money to Members in Africa and Latin America so they can get good educations, money they must pay back over time and if they don't pay it back "ex" them.
*Stop telling Mormon girls they are "daughters of God" and start telling them they must repent and be born again as the Book of Mormon actually teaches
*Start a "Deseret Credit Union" so that greedy banks don't make money from the money of Members
*Tell bishops to stop covering-up the sexual sins of the sons of prominent Members
*Preach against abortion in General Conference (because many young Mormon girls are getting abortions based upon "date rape" and in fact they were never raped in the first place...children in the womb are being killed so that Mormon girls and their parentscan avoid "embarassment")
*Preach against the Gospel of Gain in General Conference (i.e. wealth is not a sign of righteousnes and poverty is not a sign of unrighteounsess)
*Publish the Book of Mormon in plain English so people will actually read the thing
*etc.

Now, a "few" of my ideas later become reality, which is NOT to say that I was the "guy" who first came up with the idea! Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't. I don't know. All I know is that a few things I suggested later happened. Perhaps because of me. PErhaps NOT because of me. I don't kow. But...I have TRIED TO HELP. And I have discovered that NO GOOD DEED HAS GONE UNPUNISHED! I have been accused of "trying to steady the ARk" and of "trying to make money off the Church" even though I never asked for any money! So, I've tried to help society and the Church too, on my own dime, without asking anything in return--no even "creidt" or "honorably mention". I do not seek either. I seek only that my ideas are used for the good of all.

Darrick becomes a positive contributor to society (hypothetical)

[_Turkey]

Interesting read. Thanks Darrick.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

Darrick becomes a positive contributor to society (hypothetical)

*snort*

Even though you believe in floating resurrected Christian Native Americas, that was funny.