Mastication makes you fat

[_dogmatic]

I almost spit out my coffee reading these.


11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called "aversion therapy." When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, scorpions, spiders, centipedes, and eat by several of them as you do the act.

yuck!

19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.

Mabye you could wear michael Jackson's old pants with all the zippers... ah too much work, go back to sleep.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

Why am I getting so fat?

and much more:

http://leon1.tripod.com/overcome.html

[_Rambo]

haha so it is better to be fat than it is to masturbate. Maybe that is why there is food at every Mormon function. You know for the longest time as a Mormon food was my vice. It was not a sin to eat it and eat whatever I wanted. There were no temple recommend interviews asking me if I had candy or chips that week. Don't get me wrong I still love food but I am finding the less I am Mormon the less I have been drawn to food to get a fix.

I can't imagine trying to sleep being all tied up.

Basically this is saying get fat and have a bad nights sleep and you will avoid sin. What a bunch of crap!

[_just me]

I wonder how many fetishes are born from people attempting these tactics.

[_madeleine]

I was wondering the same thing.

[_MCB]

Make me want to eat a few bratwurst!!! Maybe that will get my mind off of "unhealthy" things.

[_Quasimodo]

Make me want to eat a few bratwurst!!! Maybe that will get my mind off of "unhealthy" things.

Freudian bratwurst. I think I'll lick cupcakes.

[_just me]

Make me want to eat a few bratwurst!!! Maybe that will get my mind off of "unhealthy" things.

Freudian bratwurst. I think I'll lick cupcakes.

I'm gonna have a popsicle and tie my hands up while I lick it.

[_dogmatic]

I tried the advice last night and all I can think of today is sexy naked worms tying me to my bed.

[_dogmatic]

On a serious note. There is no condemnation of masterbation in either the Bible or the most correct book. I would think god would address the greatest preoccupation of man. He does talk about lust, so Mormons and Christians should give tips on un-lustful ways to master ate. Mabye some creams or something. They could sell it in the book store. There is one verse Christians use about spilling the seed but he wasn't masticating he was having sex and the sin was something totaly different than lust.

[_Quasimodo]

I'm gonna have a popsicle and tie my hands up while I lick it.

I'm seeing a whole new side to you, just me. What flavor?