Why I lost my virginity

[_Tchild]

Anyone else commit a sin (any sin) because they had already committed it "in your heart"?

The year was 1999. It was June. I was supposed to be preparing for a mission. I was dating a girl that was more forward than any other girl I had dated before (she was a Mormon).

Late at night on a Saturday, she invited me into a dark bedroom where we proceeded to commence with heavy necking and petting. I was lusting this girl with my whole heart yet I knew I should stop and I was planning on it. But then a thought came to my head from the scriptures about lusting after a woman and already committing adultery in your heart.

I had the willpower to stop. I remember it clearly. But I also remember feeling that I had already committed the sin in my heart so what's the difference now? I proceeded to let the girl go all the way (she was the aggressive one). In retrospect, I wish I would've tried to enjoy it more instead of being so nervous and scared.

I KNOW for a fact that the church doesn't punish "sins of the heart" like they punish "sins of the flesh."

I'm curious if anyone else fell into the same rationalization I made based on what you were taught about "sinning in your heart".

You "lost" your virginity because you are a normal and healthy human being with normal and healthy sexual urges.

The only person that can "punish" you is yourself. The church has no power over you except what you give them. in my opinion, there is no man-God sitting in the sky to judge you. You are your own judge and how you feel about it is all that matters.

There are consequences to engaging in sexual relations (most of them utterly fabulous), so be aware of them, and do not allow a religious organization to define for you what you should define for yourself (how to engage in sexual relations on your terms). That is a recipe for a lot of guilt, self loathing and low self esteem.

[_The Nehor]

It's disappointing to learn that apostates had lamer rationalizations for why they sinned then I do. I had assumed they were better.

[_Morley]

It's disappointing to learn that apostates had lamer rationalizations for why they sinned then I do. I had assumed they were better.

Ah, but you are generalizing from a very small sample size.

[_The Nehor]

It's disappointing to learn that apostates had lamer rationalizations for why they sinned then I do. I had assumed they were better.

Ah, but you are generalizing from a very small sample size.

True. I will continue to believe most are better so I can have some faith in humanity. Good catch.

[_Doctor Scratch]

It's disappointing to learn that apostates had lamer rationalizations for why they sinned then I do. I had assumed they were better.

So what was your punishment? Disfellowshipped?

[_Daniel Peterson]

It's disappointing to learn that apostates had lamer rationalizations for why they sinned then I do. I had assumed they were better.

So what was your punishment? Disfellowshipped?

The Nehor:

You're free to answer Scratch's inappropriate question or not, of course, but you're under absolutely no obligation to do so. It's precisely none of his business. He seems to live his life pretty much on the level of a gossip rag (albeit with less charm).

I don't even necessarily think, anyhow, that you're talking about the kind of sin that would involve Church discipline. If you are, though, you have no duty whatsoever to cater to Scratch's perverse and seemingly insatiable craving for personal dirt about believing Latter-day Saints.

[_The Nehor]

It's disappointing to learn that apostates had lamer rationalizations for why they sinned then I do. I had assumed they were better.

So what was your punishment?

Saying I was sorry to God and working to never do it again. Standard fare really.

Disfellowshipped?

The only group I've ever belonged to and suffered any official reprimand from was a non-denominational college Bible study group that did not like my unorthodox take (to them anyways) on the lesson of the Book of Job. I politely offered to withdraw when I found I was causing problems. I'm still friends with several members of it.

Please add this information into your dossier. When it comes time to write my personal history I'm relying on your dossier to fill in the gaps if I end up going senile when I get old.

[_The Nehor]

You're free to answer Scratch's inappropriate question or not, of course, but you're under absolutely no obligation to do so. It's precisely none of his business. He seems to live his life pretty much on the level of a gossip rag (albeit with less charm).

I would say more like a Youtube commenter but you seem more charitable then I am.

I don't even necessarily think, anyhow, that you're talking about the kind of sin that would involve Church discipline.

Bingo. I once would have found it shocking that Scratch would assume the absolute worst from an innocuous comment like that. Sadly my naïvété has faded.

If you are, though, you have no duty whatsoever to cater to Scratch's perverse and seemingly insatiable craving for personal dirt about believing Latter-day Saints.

Perversely I almost admire his level of dedication. If I had the same level of insatiable craving for knowledge in my interests I would have a much shorter stack of books to read on my desk. Still, rather be me with a too often half-hearted interest in subjects of value rather then Scratch with his full on interest in smut.

I suspect Scratch is merely compensating for some kind of inferiority complex in which he needs to create inferiors to look down on. It takes a lot of effort for him to find them so it is easier to just create them.

[_Doctor Scratch]

The Nehor:

You're free to answer Scratch's inappropriate question or not, of course, but you're under absolutely no obligation to do so.

So says the guy who found it "appropriate" to ask one of his parishioners about "coitus interruptus."

[_Doctor Scratch]

Saying I was sorry to God and working to never do it again. Standard fare really.

"Sorry" for what? The punishment for fornication entails a larger repentance than that, does it not? If it doesn't, then I want to hear about how this plays out, in your view. as far as I know, instances of sexual sin like this are demanding of very harsh punishment. That's how things work in the LDS Church. If you've had a different experience, and it would reflect positively on the Church, then by all means, lay your cards on the table. It seems to me that the OP was quite frank, honest, and open, and I think that vague TBM dismissals in response are problematic.