The war in heaven

The catch-all forum for general topics and debates. Minimal moderation. Rated PG to PG-13.
_Scottie
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Re: The war in heaven

Post by _Scottie »

stemelbow wrote:
Lucifer would have to know the consequences of his actions. He really chose an eternity of torture and misery fighting a war he knew he couldn't win? I don't care how egotistical someone is. Nobody is THIS egotistical.


Are you sure about nobody? I'm battling people on this site every day knowing I can't win nuttin'.

Yeah, but if you lose, you don't get an eternity of torment and pain. Kind of different, don't you think?

of course I've had such and blessings in this life to contravene that theory.

How do you know Satan isn't responsible for the blessings you have received? Just because you pray to God doesn't mean Satan isn't intercepting those prayers and doing good for you.

Maybe Satan has saved your from God's evil, sick, twisted, jealous vengeance more times than you can count!
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman

I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
_asbestosman
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Re: The war in heaven

Post by _asbestosman »

Some Schmo wrote:What does a war in heaven even look like?

It's like a board war, but without the captioned photos.
That's General Leo. He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy.
eritis sicut dii
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_Scottie
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Re: The war in heaven

Post by _Scottie »

Some Schmo wrote:What does a war in heaven even look like? How do you kill enemy spirits? Do you lob insults? ("Your mother wears army garments!") How do you take prisoners of war? Can you lock up a spirit without it slipping through the cage bars? Can you torture a spirit? Is that what people mean when they refer to a tortured soul? Are the battle songs played on harps? When you lose a spirit limb, does it automatically grow back? Are you fighting for pieces of land? Does that imply limited space in heaven? Does hell consist of fire because the bombs are still burning? Is military intel all that important when everyone can read everyone else's thoughts?

Or is the idea of a heavenly war just f*****g stupid?

Haven't you heard the old Faith-Promoting Rumor about the mission president who looked over the mountains and saw a host of evil creatures poised to attack, but then when he looked back at the MTC, he saw a host of angels girded in armor and swords ready to defend?

Kind of makes you wonder why all spirit battles are so medieval. Where are the F-18's and machine guns and tanks and crap?
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman

I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
_Some Schmo
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Re: The war in heaven

Post by _Some Schmo »

asbestosman wrote:
Some Schmo wrote:What does a war in heaven even look like?

It's like a board war, but without the captioned photos.

hehe...

So it IS damned stupid!
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
_asbestosman
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Re: The war in heaven

Post by _asbestosman »

Scottie wrote:Kind of makes you wonder why all spirit battles are so medieval. Where are the F-18's and machine guns and tanks and s***?

God has sweet weapons: hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, droughts, plagues, supernovas, and black holes.

One hit by God's black hole gun, and you'll be in outer darkness for what to you will be an eternity.
That's General Leo. He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy.
eritis sicut dii
I support NCMO
_Some Schmo
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Re: The war in heaven

Post by _Some Schmo »

Scottie wrote: Haven't you heard the old Faith-Promoting Rumor about the mission president who looked over the mountains and saw a host of evil creatures poised to attack, but then when he looked back at the MTC, he saw a host of angels girded in armor and swords ready to defend?

Oh man... that hurts my brain.

Scottie wrote:Kind of makes you wonder why all spirit battles are so medieval. Where are the F-18's and machine guns and tanks and s***?

Actually, I'd think heaven would be even more advanced than current day technology. Ya know... mind bombs, telekinetic napalm blasts, etc etc.

Or maybe the war in heaven was all a simulated event. Everyone logged onto their World of Warcraft account and faced off in a big PvP raid.
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
_asbestosman
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Re: The war in heaven

Post by _asbestosman »

Some Schmo wrote:hehe...

So it IS f*****g stupid!

Fighting a spirit war is like a debate on the internet. Even if you win you're still ______
That's General Leo. He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy.
eritis sicut dii
I support NCMO
_asbestosman
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Re: The war in heaven

Post by _asbestosman »

Some Schmo wrote:Or maybe the war in heaven was all a simulated event. Everyone logged onto their World of Warcraft account and faced off in a big PvP raid.

+1

Of course, I sometimes wonder why God didn't do that for the whole earth life thing the first place. Or maybe he did. I wonder if there are any Chinese game farmers I can get in touch with to buy my way to victory?
That's General Leo. He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy.
eritis sicut dii
I support NCMO
_Some Schmo
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Re: The war in heaven

Post by _Some Schmo »

asbestosman wrote:
Some Schmo wrote:hehe...

So it IS f*****g stupid!

Fighting a spirit war is like a debate on the internet. Even if you win you're still ______

That sounds about right based on all the reading I've been doing on You're Not So Smart (and curses to you for getting me hooked on that site!)

*shakes fist at abs-man despite subtle wink of gratitude in eye*
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
_Scottie
_Emeritus
Posts: 4166
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:54 pm

Re: The war in heaven

Post by _Scottie »

asbestosman wrote:Fighting a spirit war is like a debate on the internet. Even if you win you're still ______

Yeah, but if you lose an internet debate, you don't get damned to an eternity of torment in outer darkness.
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman

I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
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