A Challenge

[_Pollypinks]

For the famous name dropper, two words. Have fun.

[_why me]

Wow, what a blast from the past. I must have missed this one all those years ago. I am not a fan of cats. They are cute but rather useless since they hang around all day sleeping or looking out the window. And I don't especially like fish and cats definitely like fish and so the fish smell from their cans of food would bother me.

But I wouldn't be in favor of throwing them into the wood chipper.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

This. Thread. Is. Awesome.

V/R
Dr. Cam

[_Darth J]

When attention is brought to kittens being put into a wood chipper, often my thoughts are turned to great poetry, even that of Robert Frost:

Two wood chippers were present
At the hardware store, and I
I bought the one that was kitten-sized.

What treasured words are to be stored up, yea, even wisdom, by our remembering such things. Some time ago, a letter was received by me from a widow in whose stake I had been a bishop. Even at that time, the stake consisted of 3,456 widows and myself. In that letter, words were written by this dear widow telling of a choice experience that was had by her, even:

"Since I am an old widow with nothing better to do, I wish to relate a choice experience I recently had. It was noted by our stake youth leaders that the many widows in our stake had way too many kittens than could reasonably be cared for. Our youth set a date when transportation would be provided for us and our excess kittens to the stake center, where wood chippers were set up. At the appointed hour, the youth from our stake drove us to the stake center, where we had a nice visit and then the kittens we did not particularly need or have the ability to care for were hurled into the running wood chippers. Mangled flesh and bits of fur were strewn behind these wood chippers, but our youth cleaned up everything and carefully bagged the remains for being taken to a local homeless shelter. Afterwards, we were treated to a choice program and given a choice of pie.

With wonderful youth like this standing ready to shred our unnecessary kittens into oblivion, I feel the Church is in good hands!"

As we strive to exemplify the teachings of the Master, even him who taught that not a kitten is shredded in a wood chipper but our Father in Heaven does not notice it, may we also render such service as these youth, even unto the hurling of kittens of righteousness unto the wood chippers of our souls.

[_Pollypinks]

Since economic times suck, perhaps we can think of another form of employment. Paying local drug users say, half a vet's fee for humanely putting down kittens. Hell, a small bong would do the trick, hence, no need for wood chippers. If I needed a job, I'd volunteer.

[_Darth J]

Pep pep, what a bunch of whimperin' and whinin' about nothin' much. We don't know what God has in store for those kittens that were tossed into wood chippers. We don't know there wasn't an ancient Hebrew civilization that put kittens into wood chippers. It seems like it's the critics who have a hard time. It's fine if you don't think God commanded Joseph Smith to put kittens into wood chippers. But you can't prove it didn't happen, so as long as I claim that God has restored the practice of throwing kittens into wood chippers in these latter days, you have to prove God didn't do that if you want to say that the church is a fraud. There are all kinds of possibilities, and until we have omniscient knowledge of every particle of matter and every event that has ever happened in this universe and in any other possible universe, a critic can't say that it is highly unlikely that God commanded Joseph Smith to put kittens into wood chippers. I guess the critics can just pout and whimper and be angry knowing that until every unsupported and implausible assertion I can invent in my head has been thoroughly disproved by showing that it never might have happened, it's the critics who have the burden of proof showing that God didn't want Joseph Smith to throw kittens into a wood chipper.

[_consiglieri]

As kittens are, woodchips once were.
As woodchips are, kittens shall become.

[_Darth J]

As kittens are, woodchips once were.
As woodchips are, kittens shall become.

That did make me lol.

[_consiglieri]

That did make me lol.

It's the smiles that keep us going. The bits of giggles and good cheer.


(Super extra credit for anybody who can tell what movie that comes from! No googling, now. And just because I did is no excuse.)


All the Best!

--Consiglieri

[_Pollypinks]

If I were the prophet I'd make it okay to be pro-choice. Let's up the anty. Enough about killing kittens.