Lie detector test?

[_ajax18]

Assuming you could get the brethren to take it, or any Church official, are there any questions you would like to ask? Would a lie detector test tell us anything?

[_Some Schmo]

Assuming you could get the brethren to take it, or any Church official, are there any questions you would like to ask? Would a lie detector test tell us anything?

So... how long have you known it was all BS?

[_ajax18]

I was informed that it had to be a yes/no question.

[_jon]

Do you live the word of wisdom exactly as stipulated in the doctrine and covenants?

In the last two years have you played with your little apostle?

[_Some Schmo]

I was informed that it had to be a yes/no question.

Ah, ok. How about this:

"So... did you know it was all BS before you became a GA?"

[_ajax18]

Those are fine, but it still seems to leave a lot of wiggle room.

[_just me]

Have you ever had sexual relations outside your marriage?

Do you dislike any of the other GAs'?

Have you ever used your position in the church for financial gain?

Have you ever used the services of a private investigstor in your capacity with the church?

Have you ever used the services of a private investigstor in your personal life?

Have you viewed porn in the past year?

[_sock puppet]

Assuming you could get the brethren to take it, or any Church official, are there any questions you would like to ask? Would a lie detector test tell us anything?

Are TSM's favorite cookies snicker doodles?

Does BKP daily contemplate the masturbation habits of male members of the Mormon Church? Is the anger that he had at the FP in 1981 over its recanting the prohibition on oral sex by married Mormon couples greater than an 8 on a 1-10 scale?

If Jeffrey Holland knew he did not have Hyrum Smith's Bible in Holland's hand when he gave the GC talk? If not, was he told to refrain from publicly apologizing for his error when later he found out he was acting under a false understanding in so declaring that to the worldwide body of the Mormon Church?

Did Ronald Poelman push back at all about having his 1980s GC talk twisted out of shape for the Ensign publication, and being asked to read parts of the revised, post-GC text for videotaping and inclusion in the tapes to be sold?

If DHO yet thinks that JSJr saw giant white salamanders when 'angels' appeared to him, now that the Hoffman letters have been revealed to be forgeries?

The FP/12, have you with your hands felt the crucifixion wounds in Jesus' hands? With your eyes seen the flesh-resurrected Jesus?

If they think a male who wears earrings will be banned for that reason alone from some heavenly station in the hereafter? or a female with more than one per ear will be?

If the City Creek project has exceeded $4b yet?

There are scores more of such questions I'd like the lie detector operator to ask.

[_hugh jass]

I'd ask "Do you think Uchdork has a giant head?"

"Do you look at PORN before you screw your fat wife?"

Do you wear the one piece Jesus jammie jump suit (garments)

Do you have sex with your garments on?

Do you HATE Boyd?

[_ajax18]

Hugh Jass, are you Polygamy Porter's sock puppet? Those would be interesting questions, but I'm not sure they would be the first on my list.

Would they pass the lie detector test if they believed they had seen Jesus Christ but were just hallucinating? Or would the question just set off a bundle of nerves and that would make them fail it regardless.