Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

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_The Mighty Builder
_Emeritus
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Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Post by _The Mighty Builder »

Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Number 10 - She heard that Mormon’s blindly follow the Mormon Profits advice and is hoping to get him to command Mormon to buy her latest album.

Number 9 - Loves funky underwear and “man, o’man, ain’t noth’n crazier than Mormon underwear.”

Number 8 - Misunderstood the Curse of Cain doctrine and thought the Mormon Missionaries were saying “Cousin Cain” and if Mormonism is good enough for Cousin Cain its good enough for her.

Number 7 - Loves color contrast and there is nothing more contrasting than an African American dressed in Mormon Temple clothes in the Celestial room.

Number 6 - Got tired of up-beat and snappy music and “Lawrd knows there ain’t noth’n slower than MoTab.”

Number 5 - Thought that Mitt Romney was a liberal Democrat and wanted to support his liberal agenda when he ran for President.

Number 4 - Hoping to be a door greeter at the City Creek Center Mall and heard you have a better chance of being hired in Utah if you’re a Mormon

Number 3 - Didn’t know what to do with 10% of her money

Number 2 - Was too late to join the other Celebrities and become a Scientologist

Number 1 - She’s Bat Sh*t Crazy
_Joseph Antley
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Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Post by _Joseph Antley »

boooooooooooo.
"I'd say Joseph, that your anger levels are off the charts. What you are, Joseph, is a bully." - Gadianton
"Antley's anger is approaching...levels of volcanic hatred." - Scratch

http://Twitter.com/jtantley
_Buffalo
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Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Post by _Buffalo »

11. Heard that Michael Jackson had benefited from joining a kooky religion, thought she'd jump on the bandwagon.
Parley P. Pratt wrote:We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.
_Morley
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Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Post by _Morley »

The Mighty Builder wrote:Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Number 10 - She heard that Mormon’s blindly follow the Mormon Profits advice and is hoping to get him to command Mormon to buy her latest album.

Number 9 - Loves funky underwear and “man, o’man, ain’t noth’n crazier than Mormon underwear.”

Number 8 - Misunderstood the Curse of Cain doctrine and thought the Mormon Missionaries were saying “Cousin Cain” and if Mormonism is good enough for Cousin Cain its good enough for her.

Number 7 - Loves color contrast and there is nothing more contrasting than an African American dressed in Mormon Temple clothes in the Celestial room.

Number 6 - Got tired of up-beat and snappy music and “Lawrd knows there ain’t noth’n slower than MoTab.”

Number 5 - Thought that Mitt Romney was a liberal Democrat and wanted to support his liberal agenda when he ran for President.

Number 4 - Hoping to be a door greeter at the City Creek Center Mall and heard you have a better chance of being hired in Utah if you’re a Mormon

Number 3 - Didn’t know what to do with 10% of her money

Number 2 - Was too late to join the other Celebrities and become a Scientologist

Number 1 - She’s Bat Sh*t Crazy


MB, I'm probably over-analyzing, but I found this to be mildly racist.
_hugh jass
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Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Post by _hugh jass »

Image
_quaker
_Emeritus
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Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Post by _quaker »

It would be considered a strength to accept that you are not funny and to cease trying. It's not working for you.

<---- Has been in the same situation. Self realization is tough business.
_Equality
_Emeritus
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Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Post by _Equality »

I miss runtu.
"The Church is authoritarian, tribal, provincial, and founded on a loosely biblical racist frontier sex cult."--Juggler Vain
"The LDS church is the Amway of religions. Even with all the soap they sell, they still manage to come away smelling dirty."--Some Schmo
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