My Work Here is Done

[_Doctor Scratch]

My dear friends and colleagues: it is with a full heart that I hereby announce my having accepted "emeritus" status at Cassius University. While this status can be reversed at any time by the Dean, I don't foresee it happening any time soon. And bear in mind that "emeritus" status does not mean that I am leaving MDB, or that I am withdrawing from scrutiny of Mopologetics, or any such thing. It simply means that, to a certain extent, I have "retired."

Some six years ago I embarked on an ambitious, Mormon-related project, and I have just recently brought this project to a conclusion. Obviously, I owe an enormous debt to the many people who helped me along the way--I won't name names; I'll simply say, "You know who you are." When I first began my re-exploration of Mormonism-in-cyber-form back in 2005, I was amazed at what I discovered. At first, my interest was only in learning all I could about the many things that tend to be omitted from correlated, "official" LDS publications. As I did this, though, I eventually encountered the work of the Mopologists (and again, I won't name names: you know who they are by now). I don't know that I've ever been more disgusted in my entire life. Will Bagley noted rather recently, in his Mormon Expressions podcast, that he very much feels badly about the way he was treated by these figures in Mormon Studies. (He characterized them as "vicious.") I continue to believe that the Mopologists are the most poisonous and evil element in contemporary Mormonism--worse, even, in my view, than anything that the institutional Church does. Being persuaded to give up huge chunks of your time and money under false pretenses is one thing; doing this and then getting crapped on and kicked in the teeth during moments of enormous spiritual pain is quite another.

In response to what I was seeing from the Mopologists, I felt that something needed to be done. Sure: there was already a fair amount of outspoken criticism directed at these apologists, but a lot of it was ineffective. What I noticed is that the apologists tended to work chiefly in the realm of aggressive, polemical rhetoric, which often meant that "objective," scholarly response to them was fruitless. People like Dan Vogel and Chris Smith can hold their own, and they subsist like rocks in the midst of the stream, but I think their arguments are drowned out by the endless invective and attack. For non-Mormon outsiders, the arguments of Vogel and Smith are like preaching to the choir. The audience that most needs to hear Vogel, Smith, et al. are the TBMs, but the arguments, in this case, are rendered ineffective by the apologists' well-honed use of ad hominem attack, polemics, and invective.

So, like I said, something needed to be done. The scales of justice had been thrown out of whack by the 30-odd-year war that the Mopologists waged on decent society. What I realized, as I surveyed this situation, is that the best strategy was to focus on the leaders of the Mopologetic polemical movement, and so that's what I did. I concentrated my scholarly efforts on breaking down and deconstructing the rhetorical strategies and tendencies of Mopologetics' most important leaders.

Today, this leadership has retreated into near-silence, and I consider this a real victory. I don't like to brag, but I believe that I've contributed something genuinely valuable and good to the world of online, Mormon-related discussion and debate. If I can take credit for having helped to disrupt or eliminate what had been a 3-decades-long polemical assault, then I can't help feeling awfully good about my place in the grand scheme of things. This is a fundamental good. Now, I can already anticipate somebody saying that people deleting their MDB accounts or disappearing into the cyber-ether is "bad" on principle, to which I'd respond, simply, that if these folks hadn't created a poisonous atmosphere to begin with, there never would have been a need for a Mopologetics Studies Department at Cassius.

But, in conclusion, it really does seem that there is no reason to worry about this anymore. The seas are calm; the Mopologetic leadership is aging and defeated, and so I shall retreat to my cozy den, where I shall yet again become absorbed in my various and sundry academic interests. So long as the key Mopologists refrain from their attacks and viciousness, I shall remain (per the Dean, of course), in my "emeritus" status.

Life is good; the sun shines brightly on this lovely October day. And I am glad to report, dear friends, that justice really does exist in this world.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

Hello Doctor Scratch,

God bless you, Good Sir.

Very Respectfully,

Doctor Cameron North Carolina for Me

[_Droopy]

My dear friends and colleagues: it is with a full heart that I hereby announce my having accepted "emeritus" status at Cassius University. While this status can be reversed at any time by the Dean, I don't foresee it happening any time soon. And bear in mind that "emeritus" status does not mean that I am leaving MDB, or that I am withdrawing from scrutiny of Mopologetics, or any such thing. It simply means that, to a certain extent, I have "retired."

Some six years ago I embarked on an ambitious, Mormon-related project, and I have just recently brought this project to a conclusion. Obviously, I owe an enormous debt to the many people who helped me along the way--I won't name names; I'll simply say, "You know who you are." When I first began my re-exploration of Mormonism-in-cyber-form back in 2005, I was amazed at what I discovered. At first, my interest was only in learning all I could about the many things that tend to be omitted from correlated, "official" LDS publications. As I did this, though, I eventually encountered the work of the Mopologists (and again, I won't name names: you know who they are by now). I don't know that I've ever been more disgusted in my entire life. Will Bagley noted rather recently, in his Mormon Expressions podcast, that he very much feels badly about the way he was treated by these figures in Mormon Studies. (He characterized them as "vicious.") I continue to believe that the Mopologists are the most poisonous and evil element in contemporary Mormonism--worse, even, in my view, than anything that the institutional Church does. Being persuaded to give up huge chunks of your time and money under false pretenses is one thing; doing this and then getting crapped on and kicked in the teeth during moments of enormous spiritual pain is quite another.

In response to what I was seeing from the Mopologists, I felt that something needed to be done. Sure: there was already a fair amount of outspoken criticism directed at these apologists, but a lot of it was ineffective. What I noticed is that the apologists tended to work chiefly in the realm of aggressive, polemical rhetoric, which often meant that "objective," scholarly response to them was fruitless. People like Dan Vogel and Chris Smith can hold their own, and they subsist like rocks in the midst of the stream, but I think their arguments are drowned out by the endless invective and attack. For non-Mormon outsiders, the arguments of Vogel and Smith are like preaching to the choir. The audience that most needs to hear Vogel, Smith, et al. are the TBMs, but the arguments, in this case, are rendered ineffective by the apologists' well-honed use of ad hominem attack, polemics, and invective.

So, like I said, something needed to be done. The scales of justice had been thrown out of whack by the 30-odd-year war that the Mopologists waged on decent society. What I realized, as I surveyed this situation, is that the best strategy was to focus on the leaders of the Mopologetic polemical movement, and so that's what I did. I concentrated my scholarly efforts on breaking down and deconstructing the rhetorical strategies and tendencies of Mopologetics' most important leaders.

Today, this leadership has retreated into near-silence, and I consider this a real victory. I don't like to brag, but I believe that I've contributed something genuinely valuable and good to the world of online, Mormon-related discussion and debate. If I can take credit for having helped to disrupt or eliminate what had been a 3-decades-long polemical assault, then I can't help feeling awfully good about my place in the grand scheme of things. This is a fundamental good. Now, I can already anticipate somebody saying that people deleting their MDB accounts or disappearing into the cyber-ether is "bad" on principle, to which I'd respond, simply, that if these folks hadn't created a poisonous atmosphere to begin with, there never would have been a need for a Mopologetics Studies Department at Cassius.

But, in conclusion, it really does seem that there is no reason to worry about this anymore. The seas are calm; the Mopologetic leadership is aging and defeated, and so I shall retreat to my cozy den, where I shall yet again become absorbed in my various and sundry academic interests. So long as the key Mopologists refrain from their attacks and viciousness, I shall remain (per the Dean, of course), in my "emeritus" status.

Life is good; the sun shines brightly on this lovely October day. And I am glad to report, dear friends, that justice really does exist in this world.

Let us know when they finally let you out of solitary confinement and allow you to socialize with the other inmates with minimal supervision. In-patient psychiatric confinement is no bed of roses, but it sure beats posting here more than a few times a month.

[_Doctor Scratch]

Doctor Cam:

Thank you very much for your kind wishes.

Droopy:

Let us know when they finally let you out of solitary confinement and allow you to socialize with the other inmates with minimal supervision. In-patient psychiatric confinement is no bed of roses, but it sure beats posting here more than a few times a month.

Hi there, Droopy. I've never been in prison, nor in any mental-health facility. I know that you and others are fond of accusing me of having mental health problems (e.g., Ray A recently suggested on Liz's board that I'm "bi-polar"), but I really think your accusations/observations say more about you than they do me.

Cheerio and happy Sunday to you, in any case.

[_Shulem]

I think you did a great job, Dr. Scratch. Well done.

Paul O

[_Chap]

Well Dr. S, you have shown us some good sport.

In a way, I am sorry that you have, in effect, shot our fox, but perhaps it is better that he is no longer publicly misusing his learning and B-list academic status to give credibility to the incredible.

[_sock puppet]

Dear Dr Scratch,

As a fellow member of the Cassius U faculty, I want to publicly express my deepest appreciation for all that you have done, and will continue to do as emeritus.

Mopologetics arose and has attempted to establish a fireline to keep the TBMs safe from the faith-ravaging flames of reason and logic, particularly as applied to historical discoveries and uncovering of historical evidences. In doing so, mopologetics cut down many sturdy Mormons along the perimeter and set ablaze many others along the perimeter that were lush foliage but for the mopologist, expendable for having the audacity to use their god-given minds.

Despite these efforts and even 'controlled burns' involving the LGT and the historicity claims of the Book of Mormon, the mopologists have not kept all flames of reason and logic from reaching into the heart of their TBM 'enchanted forest'.

You have been instrumental in calling mopologists out for using methods that they themselves deem evil and venal unless used for the defense of COJCOLDS. 'Being mean for the Lord'.

If the call to arms arrives at your doorstep again, please know that you can count on me to take up arms and follow you into battle again.

Yours truly,

Sock Puppet

[_Phillip]

Two questions:

1) Does Cassius offer a 401K plan or a defined benefit pension plan or some combination of the two? I hope that your accomplishments will be recognized financially as well as academically.

2) Have you informed your bishop that you are now available for fulltime senior missionary work? There is a pressing need as you know.

All the best!

[_Droopy]

Hi there, Droopy. I've never been in prison, nor in any mental-health facility. I know that you and others are fond of accusing me of having mental health problems (e.g., Ray A recently suggested on Liz's board that I'm "bi-polar"), but I really think your accusations/observations say more about you than they do me.

Sure, Scratch, it was only a little fun and games. To my mind, you are, in point of fact, a rather evil and sinister figure, but hardly mentally deranged in the more extreme DSM sense of the term.

[_bcspace]

My dear friends and colleagues: it is with a full heart that I hereby announce my having accepted "emeritus" status at Cassius University

In other words, you failed and are being moved aside to a position where you can't get in the way.