My Wife's Take on the New Mormon Media Blitz

[_consiglieri]

Last Saturday night, my wife found out from our home teacher about the new "I'm a Mormon" media campaign.

We don't have TV, so this was her first exposure.

The home teacher told her in glowing terms about one of the spots he had seen, that being of a lady who works as a teacher at inner city schools, and how it is hard work but rewarding, closing with her name and the signature tag-line, "and I'm a Mormon."

My wife's response floored me. (The following was said in crescendo.)

"Are you telling me that the Church is showcasing women working outside the home? I had a good job before I had children, and I was well respected in my field. But when the children came along, I did what the Church told me to do and stayed home and busted my butt raising them. And now the Church is running commercials not featuring women like me who did what I was told, but showcasing women who work outside the home? I am pissed!"

By the end of her comments, my wife was tearing up.

I was speechless, my wife was so right on. (The home teacher was speechless, too, but for a different reason, I think.)

Thoughts?

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

[_Buffalo]

[_just me]

My thought is that your wife would not have been a SAHM if the church hadn't told her to. I am not sure what her current situation is, but if I were you I would encourage her to set goals outside of mommy and mormondom. If she wants to go back to work or school or whatever....support her in those endevors.

She may be feeling that she made too big a sacrifice.

I could also be way off base, but judging by your description I don't think I'm wrong.

[_consiglieri]

I could also be way off base, but judging by your description I don't think I'm wrong.

I think those are good suggestions, Just Me.

Here is the situation with my wife. She was married before me and had two small children--she stayed home. Then her husband died and she had to go to work to support the family.

It was in this job that she rose to a level of prominence and esteem, but then she married me and quit that job which she had already proven she could not only do well, but do with children at home.

And she did it only because that was the clear message she got from the top that she "should" do.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

P.S. And I just remembered, she also said she felt the ad was "a slap in the face."

[Guest]

And so what is the best recent statement from a general authority in the past 20 years saying that women shouldn't be working? I'd like to show that to my attorney sister and my engineer sister. One of them is married to a bishop and I'd like to know what the hell is going on.

[_Equality]

And so what is the best recent statement from a general authority in the past 20 years saying that women shouldn't be working? I'd like to show that to my attorney sister and my engineer sister.

Don't know if it's the best, but it's recent. GBH in 2003:

Count your blessings; name them one by one. You don't need a great big mansion of a house with an all-consuming mortgage that goes on forever. You do need a comfortable and pleasant home where love abides. Someone has said that there is no more beautiful picture than that of a good woman cooking a meal for those she loves. Weigh carefully that which you do. You do not need some of the extravagances that working outside the home might bring. Weigh carefully the importance of your being in the home when your children come from school.

Now, how about you give us the best recent statement from a general authority in the last 20 years saying that all the statements from previous general authorities, church manuals, and church publications discouraging mothers from working outside the home are no longer authoritative for LDS women.

[_Yahoo Bot]

Especially for youth:

"The Lord wants you to educate your mind and improve your skills and abilities. Education will help you to be an influence for good in the world. It will help you better provide for yourself, your loved ones, and those in need.

Be willing to work diligently and make sacrifices to obtain learning. Education is an investment that brings great rewards. You live in a competitive world where a good education opens the doors of opportunity that may otherwise be closed to you."

There is a difference between a doctrine that says that women shouldn't work, and a suggestion that says that a woman shouldn't work just to get bigger stuff. I want to see some suggestion from a GA that says that women shouldn't work outside the home, period.

[_Brackite]

Dear 'Yahoo Bot,

Do you still agree with that statement that you wrote a little over couple of years here??? Here it is again:

Plural marriage is an eternal principle. It is founded on the notion that there will be far fewer men who will accept the atoning sacrifice than women. It has to do, somehow, with the struggle in the Garden of Eden, the choice Eve made, and the promise that she would be saved in childbearing. I don't get it all, but the fact that women are more spiritual and willing to accept the spirit is a fact.

Link: http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 20#p237220

[_Cardinal Biggles]

And so what is the best recent statement from a general authority in the past 20 years saying that women shouldn't be working? I'd like to show that to my attorney sister and my engineer sister. One of them is married to a bishop and I'd like to know what the hell is going on.

Here's one that isn't as recent, but it's a good one, so I hope you'll excuse the fact that it falls slightly outside of your (seemingly arbitrary) 20-year time frame. This one is from 1987--perhaps you intentionally restricted your inquiry to avoid it. I imagine that you already knew about it when you asked. It's Ezra Taft Benson, from "To the Mothers In Zion." Even though it's old, there are still copies of pamphlets containing these words in the foyer of the chapel I attend.

Please do remind your sisters of this counsel, and tell us how they respond.

The Lord clearly defined the roles of mothers and fathers in providing for and rearing a righteous posterity. In the beginning, Adam--not Eve--was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother's calling is in the home, not in the market place.

Again, in the Doctrine and Covenants, we read: "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken" (D&C 83:2). This is the divine right of a wife and mother. She cares for and nourishes her children at home. Her husband earns the living for the family, which makes this nourishing possible. With that claim on their husbands for their financial support, the counsel of the Church has always been for mothers to spend their full time in the home in rearing and caring for their children.

We realize also that some of our choice sisters are widowed and divorced and that others find themselves in unusual circumstances where, out of necessity, they are required to work for a period of time. But these instances are the exception, not the rule.

In a home where there is an able-bodied husband, he is expected to be the breadwinner. Sometimes we hear of husbands who, because of economic conditions, have lost their jobs and expect their wives to go out of the home and work even though the husband is still capable of providing for his family. In these cases, we urge the husband to do all in his power to allow his wife to remain in the home caring for the children while he continues to provide for his family the best he can, even though the job be is able secure may not be ideal and family budgeting will have to be tighter.

Our beloved prophet Spencer W. Kimball had much to say about the role of mothers in the home and their callings and responsibilities. I am impressed tonight to share with you some of his inspired pronouncements. I fear that much of his counsel has gone unheeded, and families have suffered because of it. But I stand this evening as a second witness to the truthfulness of what President Spencer W. Kimball said. He spoke as a true prophet of God.

President Kimball declared: "Women are to take care of the family--the Lord has so stated--to be an assistant to the husband, to work with him, but not to earn the living, except in unusual circumstances. Men ought to be men indeed and earn the living under normal circumstances" (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 318 ).

President Kimball continues: "Too many mothers work away from home to furnish sweaters and music lessons and trips and fun for their children. Too many women spend their time in socializing, in politicking, in public services when they should be home to teach and train and receive and love their children into security" (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 319).

Remember the counsel of President Kimball to John and Mary: "Mary, you are to become a career woman in the greatest career on earth--that of homemaker, wife, and mother. It was never intended by the Lord that married women should compete with men in employment. They have a far greater and more important service to render.

Again President Kimball speaks: "The husband is expected to support his family and only in an emergency should a wife secure outside employment. Her place is in the home, to build the home into a haven of delight.

"Numerous divorces can be traced directly to the day when the wife left the home and went out into the world into employment. Two incomes raise the standard of living beyond its norm. Two spouses working prevent the complete and proper home life, break into the family prayers, create an independence which is not cooperative, causes distortion, limits the family, and frustrates the children already born" (Spencer W. Kimball, San Antonio Fireside, Dec. 3, 1977, pp. 9-10 ).

Finally President Kimball counsels: "I beg of you, you who could and should be bearing and rearing a family: Wives, come home from the typewriter, the laundry, the nursing, come home from the factory, the café. No career approaches in importance that of wife, homemaker, mother--cooking meals, washing dishes, making beds for one's precious husband and children. Come home, wives, to your husbands. Make home a heaven for them. Come home, wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create the bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously await.

"When you have fully complemented your husband in home life and borne the children, growing up full of faith, integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved your accomplishment supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy [of all] through time and eternity" (Spencer W. Kimball, San Antonio Fireside, Dec. 3, 1977, pp. 11-12).

President Kimball spoke the truth. His words are prophetic.

Mothers in Zion, your God-given roles are so vital to your own exaltation and to the salvation and exaltation of your family. A child needs a mother more than all the things money can buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift of all.

[Guest]

Especially for youth:

"The Lord wants you to educate your mind and improve your skills and abilities. Education will help you to be an influence for good in the world. It will help you better provide for yourself, your loved ones, and those in need.

Be willing to work diligently and make sacrifices to obtain learning. Education is an investment that brings great rewards. You live in a competitive world where a good education opens the doors of opportunity that may otherwise be closed to you."

There is a difference between a doctrine that says that women shouldn't work, and a suggestion that says that a woman shouldn't work just to get bigger stuff. I want to see some suggestion from a GA that says that women shouldn't work outside the home, period.

Hmm, Especially for Youth, that would be boys and girls, am I right? So this advice is not for married women, is it? Unless your sisters are married to deadbeats, they should be taken to task for indulging in careers.

Edit: Advice to young women and girls to get a good education usually carries the caveat that the education is just in case they are forced by circumstances beyond their control to be the breadwinners of the family. Or do you have something that says something different?