My Wife's Take on the New Mormon Media Blitz

[_just me]

Mrs. Consig felt like her sacrifice was invalidated by the church. She has every right to her feelings and reaction. THe best thing to do is to VALIDATE her feelings and reaction and find a way to help her heal.

That is why my first post to this thread focused 100% on Mrs. Consig.

Consig, you are awesome. Just continue to validate your wife and make sure she knows she is appreciated by you. Make sure to encourage her in her personal pursuits.

[_Buffalo]

But the "choice" has always been framed as one of being a faithful Mormon by following the prophet.

You know that.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

Actually this is not true. It has always been a choice and a recommendation. When I was in NYC, attending the ward there even back in the 1970's, women were working and they were also moms. Some were working in the opera or in business. And yes, some stayed home. For those moms who were working, nothing bad was said of them. There were no problem with working outside the home.

And in Europe, with state financed day care, many Mormon women were working because many women in society were working. To be a stay at home mom basically meant that your child would have no friends during the early years since many children were put in day care and women were encouraged to work by the state.

However, I would say that children today would be less screwed up if moms knew how to be moms and raised their children in the home. In the 50's and in the 60's many women were stay at home moms whether Mormon or not and my friends had mothers who were home for them after school. No need for day care, just visits over friends homes and outdoor games.

These women weren't following the prophet. Just like you weren't when you repeatedly broke the law of chastity and neglected to inform your bishop.

[_Buffalo]

Yes, why me. We all wait with bated breath to learn why it was not acceptable for Mrs. Consig to speak up in her own home about something that she didn't like verses not acceptable for me to remain silent in church about something I didn't like.

It's very clear that Why Me has a lot of disdain for women.

[_stemelbow]

I got the reaction of Will's treatment of women here. I don't get why some here are running to the conclusion that Why Me is about smacking women around, or that he hates women based on his comments in this thread. I partly agree with his comments here--clearly I disagree that an apology was in order or anything.

Anyway, it looks like to me, and I could be wrong, that this is another case of posters who are critics of the church making mountains out of molehills.

[_KevinSim]

Right. Because she doesn't matter. Only the kids matter. She is secondary....if that. An afterthought. Her needs, wants, goals and desires are not important.

This is as true for the father as it is for the LDS mother. When my wife and I were dating, I told her about the literary goals I had, about how I was going to write one or two profound essays that were going to change the world. That scared her, and she voiced her fear by pointing out that Albert Einstein had been a man who had definitely changed the world, and yet she understood he wasn't a very good father. She wanted a husband who would be a good father to her children.

So earlier this month we celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary. None of my great essays ever got written. I would still like to do something in the way of putting some of my ideas down on paper. But I have no regrets whatsoever about putting my "needs, wants, goals and desires" on hold for the last twenty years. My wife wanted someone who would love her children and be a good father for them, I tried my hardest to do that, and it was tremendously fulfilling.

[_just me]

I got the reaction of Will's treatment of women here. I don't get why some here are running to the conclusion that Why Me is about smacking women around, or that he hates women based on his comments in this thread. I partly agree with his comments here--clearly I disagree that an apology was in order or anything.

Anyway, it looks like to me, and I could be wrong, that this is another case of posters who are critics of the church making mountains out of molehills.

We are basing our responses on all of why me's posting history. He doesn't exist in a vaccuum.

He has said on other threads that women who can't/don't have their own children should find a job that deals with children. That is sexist.

On this thread he has expressed that this woman who works outside the home is a valid story BECAUSE she may be single or childless. That is sexist. The very fact that he brought up needing to know her reasoning before forming an opinion is sexist.

He has said that I should have told a room full of Relief Society women that the story the teacher told was racist.
He is now saying that Consig's wife should have kept her mouth shut in her own home about a remark that caused her to be upset.

Which is it? Are we supposed to speak up when something upsets us or are we supposed to shut up? And why do I need a man telling me when to talk or not talk anyway???

When why me says that Consig should apologize for his wife's emotions and reaction he is not only being sexist, he is also invalidating her feelings.

When Darth J made the comment about smacking his wife he did so to highlight the sexism in what why me was suggesting. I think it's called hyperbole.

[_Buffalo]

For clarity. You're saying that consig should not have 'spoken up' when he objected to the home teacher's statements in the privacy of his home--but that just me should have 'spoken up' when she objected to a teacher's lesson in a room full of TBMs at church. Is this correct?

Hmm. What's wrong with this picture?

Oh snap.

[_Buffalo]

I got the reaction of Will's treatment of women here. I don't get why some here are running to the conclusion that Why Me is about smacking women around, or that he hates women based on his comments in this thread. I partly agree with his comments here--clearly I disagree that an apology was in order or anything.

Anyway, it looks like to me, and I could be wrong, that this is another case of posters who are critics of the church making mountains out of molehills.

You got the part where Why Me basically said Consig's wife can't think for herself and shouldn't have spoken out of turn, right?

[_why me]

Yes, why me. We all wait with bated breath to learn why it was not acceptable for Mrs. Consig to speak up in her own home about something that she didn't like verses not acceptable for me to remain silent in church about something I didn't like.

It wasn't a case of speaking up. It was the reaction to what the home teacher said about the video. She jumped to conclusions and made it extremely personal. The video had nothing to do with a mom who was working. In fact, it was a nice video showing a happy Mormon who loves life and her work and her own mom. And that was my point: she over reacted and made it personal.

What was the home teacher to do?

[_just me]

Yes, why me. We all wait with bated breath to learn why it was not acceptable for Mrs. Consig to speak up in her own home about something that she didn't like verses not acceptable for me to remain silent in church about something I didn't like.

It wasn't a case of speaking up. It was the reaction to what the home teacher said about the video. She jumped to conclusions and made it extremely personal. The video had nothing to do with a mom who was working. In fact, it was a nice video showing a happy Mormon who loves life and her work and her own mom. And that was my point: she over reacted and made it personal.

What was the home teacher to do?

So what? All our reactions are personal. It was personal for her! Her reaction is just as valid as any. She was expressing her reaction and emotions about the way the LDS church was going about its Media Blitz. There is nothing, nothing for her to apologize for.

Her HT didn't need to do anything.

What would you have expected my Relief Society teacher to do about if I were to tell her that her story was racist in front of 30 other women?