A Conservative view of Sex, QnA

[_EAllusion]

Tennis isn't sex, it does not involve the same emotional comminitments, nor do they elicit the same physiological reactions.

But that's not relevant to the point I was making. I find it hard to call anything solo when two people are engaging in a shared, cooperative act to create an experience - be it in tennis or sex. Maybe this is because I know the definition of words.

I’m not talking about the guy who uses porn as an aid, I’m talking about the guy who takes home the insecure chubby girl, because he wants an orgasm, and he knows she’ll have sex with him. He’s not recognizing the severity of the act, and in doing so, reduces her from a person to just a thing to get off on.
I consider that masturbation, and not sex.

In your scenario you've completely depersonalized the chubby girl. Which is ironic because that's what you present the guy is doing. She can have her own positive, not-being taken advantage of motives for having sex too.

In any case, sure there are instances where a person just uses someone as a means for their own pleasure such that they are basically a really realistic sex doll to them. But that hardly describes all instances of non-emotionally committed, monogamous sex where a person isn't hurt. That's a ridiculous assertion.

[_Chap]

I think lots of people find that as they age and gain sexual experience it loses its appeal as a special, sacred act. When it becomes commonplace and done in a variety circumstances for different reasons over a period of years, that teenagy "specialness" fades. And with that, people aren't as inclined to argue Stak's flowery thesis about submission and two halves forming a whole. Now, I don't think this is reason to dismiss Stak and I don't think Stak is some 18 year old near-virgin. But I get what Chap's sayin'.

I don't think Chap was dismissing me, I just don't think he agrees. I don't want sex to become some mundane biological function, like urinating, and I think the best way to avoid that is to take my Hegelian approach here.

We can reduce sex to biological explanations alone, but it doesn’t do reality justice and cheapens the effect.

My Lordy, I can see the new sensation on all the airport book-racks: "How Hegel can improve your sex life". It just can't fail.

[_Morley]

My Lordy, I can see the new sensation on all the airport book-racks: "How Hegel can improve your sex life". It just can't fail.

Hegal? I thought it was spelled with a K. You know, Kegel.

[_Brackite]

Here is this Conservative view of Masturbation:

Masturbation is Pleasing unto the Lord God.

[_Blixa]

EA is doing a good job of lobbing my tennis balls.

Maybe I'll play doubles later...

[_Morley]

If masturbation is neutral but necessary (as opposed to good but necessary), are other bodily functions and biological behaviors neutral? Eating, sleeping, exercise, social interaction, and thinking (to name but a few) can all give such joy.

[_Morley]

It’s casual sex I think of as immoral.

Casual sex is immoral by definition? You seem to be saying that casual sex will always be somewhat exploitative. Really?

[_Tarski]

Casual sex is just intricate mutual masturbation, preformed for a few fleeting moments of orgasm.

I am not sure about that. If I were to have casual sex, it would definitely be about much more than an orgasm. In fact, I think I would be just as interested in doing it if I had anhedonic ejaculations. For me there would be a very complicated stew of psychological effects and associations that I only begin to fathom consciously. There would be mysterious facination with the other person's pleasure and sexuality and even a facination with their williness to break taboos. There would be a whole host of mental associations and images that hark back to experiences that shaped my sexuality and my appreciation of the female form (the latter being a seriously deep and primal kind of spirituality).
The whole thing is wonderfully mysterious.

The orgasm itself is not the goal for me. It just happens.

Disclaimer: I don't engage in casual sex since I have an understanding with my wife.

[_bcspace]

If the above description is sex, then the pursuit of sensations is merely masturbation. Casual sex is just intricate mutual masturbation, preformed for a few fleeting moments of orgasm. The erotic is sex, the pornographic is masturbation.

Sure.

Sex as described above is a moral act. Masturbation is a neutral act, which is a necessary part of being a human being. That doesn’t stop forms of masturbation from becoming immoral.

Sure.

Gay Marriage? Yes, I’m Pro-Family, and I think same sex couples can create wonderful family environments. I’m old fashioned, and think that if children have two, loving, stable parents to raise them is ideal.

The ideal is two parents; male and female. Plus, the scriptures tell us (and not unscientifically) that human homosexuality is against nature. You are not conservative on this issue.

So GLBT is okay? Yes, I’m strongly for monogamous couples, same sex or not. It’s casual sex I think of as immoral.

Ditto.

Polygamy? No, my understanding of human nature leads me to believe it can’t be done well. I’d decriminalize it, but I would discourage it.

I see plenty of evidence that it can be done well, but since you are for decriminalization of it as I am, moot.

[_sock puppet]

The whole thing is wonderfully mysterious.

The orgasm itself is not the goal for me. It just happens.

Disclaimer: I don't engage in casual sex since I have an understanding with my wife.

Sex is what each person brings to it, and seldom if ever do two people enter into sexual relations with one another with the same set of expectations, purposes, and goals. If you think it has to mean the same thing for both participants, you'll be sadly disappointed by all the 'misunderstanding.' In a way, I think it is each participant's responsibility to achieve his or her own purposes for engaging in sex with another. I'm not saying reaching orgasm is each participant's own responsibility. My own sensations of titillation and orgasms are great. But over the years, they have become predictable, and the excitement from them has waned. In inverse proportion over time, I have replaced that waning excitement with a different excitement--making sure that my sex partner loses control and has an over-the-top orgasm. As I've aged, I've found that much more satisfying, even though it takes concentrated effort. For me, not only am I responsible for my partner's orgasm, but that has become the only way for me that sex is satisfying. And yes, as I've become older this has involved sexual encounters that did not involve me having had an orgasm, but which have been some of the most satisfying encounters of my life.

When I was under age 40, I could not have fathomed a sexual encounter having been satisfying for me if I did not have an orgasm. That was then, this is now.