Did the bishop ever ask you if you masturbate

[_Buffalo]

Fair enough, all. I'll try better at being balanced.

I probably got up on the wrong side this morning. my apologies. I don't' know why i decided to quibble about that--perceived injustices.

Cheers! Much respect.

[_Jason Bourne]

Stem


I have no idea what you are talking about regarding balance. On this topic BC has many times denied such questioning takes place. Not just on this thread which is a direct result of his antics on another thread. Here you have a number of people give their personal experience. You have two mothers who have said they tell their bishops not to ask this question. One, Just me suspects her son was asked anyway. Here you have me as a former bishop telling what I discussed with other bishops. And then there is a well researched paper that another poster linked to that shows that not only has the church taught somewhat heavy handedly on this topic but that it is an item that bishops inquire about.

And BC says what was said here was invalid because the persons telling it are apostate reprobates and/or the acted in some way that made them suspect of the acivity. REALLY......? And you think my rebuke to him was out of balance? I hardly know what to say.

[_Themis]

Don't take this out on Mattie. That was just pathetic folks. There's no reason to paint her as one who is delegitimizing your experience. She has a different experience and perspective. As it is, I was asked about it only once as I recall, throughout my life.

Her posts were de-legitimizing others expereince whether intentional or not. Bcspace is famous here for doing that usually in meaner ways. If Mattie is a girl then it is not surprising she was not asked. I don't think most bishops asked girls due to being unconformable and societal thinking that it was primarily a boy thing. You admitted you remember being asked at least once, which is my expereince as a youth, although I think I was asked many times. It just that the first time was remember-able. I didn't even know what it meant, but I knew it was supposed to be bad. My impression is that Bishop today to not ask it as much as bishops in the past did.

My MP asked every interview. It was a bit of a joke with all the elders becuase he would ask, "Are ya clean elder, are ya masturbating". This was all one question, although he was looking for the answer to the second part.

[_Yoda]

Stem


I have no idea what you are talking about regarding balance. On this topic BC has many times denied such questioning takes place. Not just on this thread which is a direct result of his antics on another thread. Here you have a number of people give their personal experience. You have two mothers who have said they tell their bishops not to ask this question. One, Just me suspects her son was asked anyway. Here you have me as a former bishop telling what I discussed with other bishops. And then there is a well researched paper that another poster linked to that shows that not only has the church taught somewhat heavy handedly on this topic but that it is an item that bishops inquire about.

And BC says what was said here was invalid because the persons telling it are apostate reprobates and/or the acted in some way that made them suspect of the acivity. REALLY......? And you think my rebuke to him was out of balance? I hardly know what to say.

QFT + 1000

[_Jason Bourne]

Interesting. Thanks. Was it the same for the three-month period of abstinence that some bishops insisted on before sending in mission papers?

Again no specific guidance. I once asked my SP what period of abstinence was expected for someone going on a mission that had confessed masturbation. He said to use my own judgement but a few months was not unreasonable.

[_Themis]

Interesting. Thanks. Was it the same for the three-month period of abstinence that some bishops insisted on before sending in mission papers?

Again no specific guidance. I once asked my SP what period of abstinence was expected for someone going on a mission that had confessed masturbation. He said to use my own judgement but a few months was not unreasonable.

LOL How we punish the honest. Most missionaries(I know you are probably already aware) are doing it before and during their missions, so It would be very bad if a bishop was holding the few back that actually admitted it.

[_stemelbow]

Stem


I have no idea what you are talking about regarding balance. On this topic BC has many times denied such questioning takes place. Not just on this thread which is a direct result of his antics on another thread. Here you have a number of people give their personal experience. You have two mothers who have said they tell their bishops not to ask this question. One, Just me suspects her son was asked anyway. Here you have me as a former bishop telling what I discussed with other bishops. And then there is a well researched paper that another poster linked to that shows that not only has the church taught somewhat heavy handedly on this topic but that it is an item that bishops inquire about.

And BC says what was said here was invalid because the persons telling it are apostate reprobates and/or the acted in some way that made them suspect of the acivity. REALLY......? And you think my rebuke to him was out of balance? I hardly know what to say.

I've apologized. I mean I truly think there is a lack of balance overall here. I hear what you say. I'm just saying Mattie was condemned and continues to be condemned (see Themis' post) for doing that which she did not do. Her motivations were questioned. She was attacked for having poor intentions because she happened to be TBM, it seems, and responded here with a bit of surprise. Its very similar to BCSpace saying essentially, people here were asked about it because they showed signs of struggling with it.

After hearing the responses, or reading them, I can see that we all lack balance, including myself. I don't' know why I made such a fuss about it.

[_Jason Bourne]

Stem

I get it. You want me to get after critics when they are over board as well. Wel yea I have done that at times. Just ask Scratch how I used to get on his case all the time.


Just have not seen a need for it on this thread.


Plus I believe on this subject as well as the over the top way the church teaches about other sexual issues and behavior is hideously bad. Shaming and control creates lots of depression and psychological problems for people as well as sexual problems in between married persons. I have no problem with most law of chastity teachings but I most certainly do with HOW the church approaches it. I think it is one of the worst things about the church really. So I am quick to jump on nonsense like BC spewed here.

[_stemelbow]

Her posts were de-legitimizing others expereince whether intentional or not.

In whose eyes? Not her's, not mine. In whose? the people who posted? How could their own experience be de-legitimized because another person has a different experience? I think you're making a fuss about her for no reason.

Bcspace is famous here for doing that usually in meaner ways.

I'm not some BCSpace defender. I'm quite certain he doesn't want a defender, particularly me to defned him.

If Mattie is a girl then it is not surprising she was not asked. I don't think most bishops asked girls due to being unconformable and societal thinking that it was primarily a boy thing. You admitted you remember being asked at least once, which is my expereince as a youth, although I think I was asked many times. It just that the first time was remember-able. I didn't even know what it meant, but I knew it was supposed to be bad. My impression is that Bishop today to not ask it as much as bishops in the past did.

I have no disagreements with you here.

My MP asked every interview. It was a bit of a joke with all the elders becuase he would ask, "Are ya clean elder, are ya masturbating". This was all one question, although he was looking for the answer to the second part.

My Mission President never asked about it.

[_just me]

LOL How we punish the honest. Most missionaries(I know you are probably already aware) are doing it before and during their missions, so It would be very bad if a bishop was holding the few back that actually admitted it.

This is a good item to bring up. The personal interview system is actually one way the church teaches youth to lie. Answering truthfully (about masturbation) could lead to public embarrassment such as denial of priesthood advancement, denial of the sacrament, denied access to the temple, denial of sending in mission papers. There is also the humiliation of talking about something so private and condemned with your bishop.


JASON, I just want to clarify that my son was asked PRIOR to my request to the bishop. I maybe didn't word my post very well. Sorry about the misunderstanding. Although, all my bishop promised was to try to remember not to ask. So I still have to remind my son that he is not to answer that question.