Did the bishop ever ask you if you masturbate

[_stemelbow]

Plus I believe on this subject as well as the over the top way the church teaches about other sexual issues and behavior is hideously bad. Shaming and control creates lots of depression and psychological problems for people as well as sexual problems in between married persons. I have no problem with most law of chastity teachings but I most certainly do with HOW the church approaches it. I think it is one of the worst things about the church really. So I am quick to jump on nonsense like BC spewed here.

I've never had a problem personally with how the Church goes about sexual issues, so I haven't put too much thought into it. I can see how it can negative effect others though. I see your point.

[_Buffalo]

LOL How we punish the honest. Most missionaries(I know you are probably already aware) are doing it before and during their missions, so It would be very bad if a bishop was holding the few back that actually admitted it.

This is a good item to bring up. The personal interview system is actually one way the church teaches youth to lie. Answering truthfully (about masturbation) could lead to public embarrassment such as denial of priesthood advancement, denial of the sacrament, denied access to the temple, denial of sending in mission papers. There is also the humiliation of talking about something so private and condemned with your bishop.


JASON, I just want to clarify that my son was asked PRIOR to my request to the bishop. I maybe didn't word my post very well. Sorry about the misunderstanding. Although, all my bishop promised was to try to remember not to ask. So I still have to remind my son that he is not to answer that question.

Oh yes. Just like on a mission, people who fudge their numbers are the ones given leadership positions fasted.

[_stemelbow]

The personal interview system is actually one way the church teaches youth to lie. Answering truthfully (about masturbation) could lead to public embarrassment such as denial of priesthood advancement, denial of the sacrament, denied access to the temple, denial of sending in mission papers. There is also the humiliation of talking about something so private and condemned with your bishop.

I've never felt encouraged to lie. I see your point and I see how others can view it that way, but I don't think the Church's intention is ever to teach lying. The intention is to help people when they have personal struggles. Now, the question is, is masterbation or other sexual issues really worthy of personal struggle? It seems most here would say no. I honestly have never thought much about it. I mean when I imagine masturbation I'm a bit disturbed, but if its quite normal and stuff, then I can see the "no". But, then again, I'm a man who feels, at least to myself, normal. I don't see the need to masturbate and never have. I ain't expert enough to know whether I'm some exception or not.

So, what are people's thoughts?

[_Jason Bourne]

The church has modified some on how they teach the law of chastity. Just some. There is work to do. Dropping the sex sin is next to murder would be a good start followed by repudiating the better dead then unclean that was big when I was a kid would be great. Just be glad you did not grow up during the SWK and per SWK days.

[_Themis]

In whose eyes? Not her's, not mine. In whose? the people who posted? How could their own experience be de-legitimized because another person has a different experience? I think you're making a fuss about her for no reason.

In the eyes of many here, which is why they brought it up. I did said intentional or not. People can do it unintentionally.

Here is what she said earlier

My bishop never asked me about masturbation. I don't know if it was discussed with my brothers. I doubt it. But I don't see the point with these discussions.

I've been trying to find some value to the discussions on this forum, but so far it seems to me nothing more than a place where former LDS members gripe about what they don't like about Mormonism. I've finally been able to identify what appear to be two or three believing LDS, but it looks like this place is mainly just for former LDS with an axe to grind. And it looks like there is a universal obsession with masturbation.

I do think it was more unintentional.

I'm not some BCSpace defender. I'm quite certain he doesn't want a defender, particularly me to defned him.

I a not accusing you of this.

My Mission President never asked about it.

Every MP is different, and I think MP today ask less then those in the past. I think church leadership may have something to do with this. It is a slow change. This is the problem with a church that claims to be God's one true church, and it's prophet God's mouth piece. They tend to stick with incorrect societal thinking long after other groups have abandoned them. This is why conservative religions like LDS are more damaging to their members them the more mainstream.

[_Buffalo]

The personal interview system is actually one way the church teaches youth to lie. Answering truthfully (about masturbation) could lead to public embarrassment such as denial of priesthood advancement, denial of the sacrament, denied access to the temple, denial of sending in mission papers. There is also the humiliation of talking about something so private and condemned with your bishop.

I've never felt encouraged to lie. I see your point and I see how others can view it that way, but I don't think the Church's intention is ever to teach lying. The intention is to help people when they have personal struggles. Now, the question is, is masturbation or other sexual issues really worthy of personal struggle? It seems most here would say no. I honestly have never thought much about it. I mean when I imagine masturbation I'm a bit disturbed, but if its quite normal and stuff, then I can see the "no". But, then again, I'm a man who feels, at least to myself, normal. I don't see the need to masturbate and never have. I ain't expert enough to know whether I'm some exception or not.

So, what are people's thoughts?

99% of males masturbate. Doctors agree that it's healthy and helps prepare people for healthy sexual relationships later in life. It's especially important for women. Women who don't learn how to orgasm by themselves and are shamed about masturbation often have difficulty with sex once they're married. They often can't enjoy sex and see it as a chore. Masturbation is an evolved behavior and has many positive outcomes and no negative consequences. Moreover, there isn't a single word about it in any of the scriptures the LDS church uses. The church was totally neutral on masturbation until about 60 years ago.

[_Buffalo]

The church has modified some on how they teach the law of chastity. Just some. There is work to do. Dropping the sex sin is next to murder would be a good start followed by repudiating the better dead then unclean that was big when I was a kid would be great. Just be glad you did not grow up during the SWK and per SWK days.

Yes, the better dead than unclean thing was terrible. Losing your virtue was just code for losing your virginity. A rape victim was considered to have "lost her virtue." For quite a while SWK's sick and twisted "blame the victim" mentality held a lot of sway. What a sick man.

[_Themis]

I've never felt encouraged to lie. I see your point and I see how others can view it that way, but I don't think the Church's intention is ever to teach lying.

I agree that it is unintentional. It is the way they go about it.

The intention is to help people when they have personal struggles. Now, the question is, is masturbation or other sexual issues really worthy of personal struggle?

Scientific community has learned that it is a normal activity, and even healthy. What is unhealthy is the church's obsession with it, and the guilt they encourage over it. It has even resulted in suicides.

[Guest]

just me wrote:

This is a good item to bring up. The personal interview system is actually one way the church teaches youth to lie.

Agree 100%. Maintaining the sterile, glossy façade is all important.

My wife, my two teenage sons, and I attend church on a semi-active basis. Like you, we’ve asked our bishop not to discuss this matter with either of our sons.

We’ve also made it clear to our sons that there is nothing wrong with masturbation as long as it is done with discretion and in private. As for the Church’s teachings on the matter, we told them that while there are many good things in the Church, certain of its views on sexuality are downright harmful. (Actually, my wife did most of the talking because she’s far more comfortable discussing these things with our sons than I am. Go figure.)

Buffalo wrote:

99% of males masturbate.

And the remaining 1% lies about it...unless they're Mormon, in which case 99% lies about it.

[_stemelbow]

99% of males masturbate.

Where can you verify this number? That seems like a made up assumption.

Doctors agree that it's healthy and helps prepare people for healthy sexual relationships later in life. It's especially important for women. Women who don't learn how to orgasm by themselves and are shamed about masturbation often have difficulty with sex once they're married.

Both of these two statements don't ring true in my limited experience, which includes myself and my wife. But, you might be right. who knows?

They often can't enjoy sex and see it as a chore. Masturbation is an evolved behavior and has many positive outcomes and no negative consequences. Moreover, there isn't a single word about it in any of the scriptures the LDS church uses. The church was totally neutral on masturbation until about 60 years ago.

Really? I didn't realize that last part.