Ways to stop masturbating by Mark E Peterson

[_Equality]

The pamphlet sure gives us a good glimpse into the psyche of Mark E. Petersen. Clearly, he had a big problem with the Big M. And it's obvious where he was tempted most--in the shower, bed in the morning, and whenever he saw himself naked in a mirror. What a hoot! He and Yoda Kimball were peas in a pod. I wonder if they got their ideas about the dangers of mutual masturbation in the temple changing room. Or maybe it happened when Spencer was doing the "washings and anointings" old-school style on Mark E. Mark and Petersen popped a tent with the shield. Maybe that's why they always had an old lady on standby to play hymns on the organ in the little temple chapel, so Mark and Spence could try out Boyd's "sing a hymn" method for shutting down the little factory before they started consecrating each other with "oil."

[_Drifting]

Maybe that's why they always had an old lady on standby to play hymns on the organ in the little temple chapel, so Mark and Spence could try out Boyd's "sing a hymn" method for shutting down the little factory before they started consecrating each other with "oil."

That's a euphemism right?

[_Corpsegrinder]

No, I believe he's referring to an obscure woodwind known as the skin flute.

[_DarkHelmet]

In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken.

But you still have one hand free. If it is required to have both hands tied to the frame, you will need help. Ask your missionary companion to tie both of your hands to the bed post. However, if it turns out your missionary companion is a closet gay, how will you be able to use Boyd K. Packer's advice to fight off gay advances if your gay missionary companion tied you to a bed post and now wants to take advantage of you? It's all so confusing.

[_malkie]

Since Dr Shades is derelict in his grammar-nazi duty, let me ask whether the topic really means:

1. "Ways to stop masturbating", by Mark E Peterson
or
2. Ways to stop Mark E Peterson masturbating

?

[_Sethbag]

This says it all:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0BNz02JQN4

LOL. That is truly great.

[_Corpsegrinder]

Since Dr Shades is derelict in his grammar-nazi duty, let me ask whether the topic really means:

1. "Ways to stop masturbating", by Mark E Peterson
or
2. Ways to stop Mark E Peterson masturbating

?

or
3. Ways to stop masturbating Mark E. Peterson

...eeew!

[_DarkHelmet]

Since Dr Shades is derelict in his grammar-nazi duty, let me ask whether the topic really means:

1. "Ways to stop masturbating", by Mark E Peterson
or
2. Ways to stop Mark E Peterson masturbating

?

or

Ways to stop masturbating by Mark E. Peterson.

1) Ask him to go away.
2) Walk away from him.

[_Corpsegrinder]

Ways to stop masturbating by Mark E. Peterson.

1) Ask him to go away.
2) Walk away from him.

After all, he only masturbates in public to get attention.

[_Sethbag]

What's stupid about this whole thing is you if you showed average Mormons the teachings by Mark E. Peterson about masturbation, they will probably take from these writings that this is what the church actually believes. But if you show them the writings of Mark E. Peterson saying that blacks will only enter the Celestial Kingdom as servants, they'll disavow it and say he was only speaking as a man of his time or whatever.

So much for the Spirit. An Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, a veritable Prophet, Seer, and Revelator, was just making it up as he went along. Who'da thunk it?