The Jersey Homestead is covered in a blanket of sunshine and blue skies on this Thanksgiving Day. The turkey is in the oven (bagged this time, the proverbial 2 hour turkey :-) and soon this old rustic house (with a newly refinished deck!) will be filled with chatter and good food shared with family.
The holiday season is one of reflection for many of us and profoundly so for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. It is how we mark the passing of time and what we attach our memories to. This year, I have found myself praying (a lot and daily) for those who grieve. Some folks in or around my sphere, have experienced the abrupt and unexpected loss of, particularly, young people whose lives were cut short by various means. The loss of those children created a rippling effect and some of us will continue to ride waves of hurt and longing for "what could have been" for the rest of our lives.
As some of you know, our family experienced a tragic loss at the start of this year. Some folks ask me how I am still standing or how any of us are still standing. Having this question posed to me repeatedly over the past 10 months has given me ample opportunity to think about the "how".
(Now, I am going to put myself out there for you and I will tell you upfront that there are some comments I probably won't respond to should they come from this OP)
There is some part of me that, over the long haul, does something automatically and I think that plays a large part in the "how". In the midst of crisis, it is like reflex and I suppose, some sort of survival mechanism for my mind. Here are a few examples:
"At least we could get a flight out"
"At least the plane is on time"
"At least they weren't overseas"
"At least there is someone there to take care of her until we come"
"At least I can see her and touch her again"
"At least we didn't have to struggle with weather for the funeral"
"At least she is home with us"
And the big one: "At least she is alive".
And on and on it goes and has gone for the past 10 months. It's odd that I couch my thoughts in terms of "at least", when these are things that I experience as "the most", but you get the drift. I could name so many events that have taken place over the past 10 months, but I won't, wherein my mind automatically attaches to something positive. I think in large part, I learned to do this as a child. And if I had to attribute it to one thing, I would choose a church song from childhood titled, "Count Your Blessings". I don't know if LDS use this hymn (I am more than certain that harmony knows it) so here's a youtube I haven't viewed yet, but will take a chance that it's good:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ox75f3HWBA
And here is a sample of the lyrics:
When upon lifes billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
If religion, at times, tends to brainwash it's members, I think this is a good example of positive brainwashing.
Our family approaches this Thanksgiving with a deep sense of gratitude for survival. For the people who have helped us throughout the past 10 months and who continue to help us. Some are even from this board :-)
John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you".
I believe that he came to us through all of these people and no one could convince me otherwise.
In terms of this board, my blessings have been Liz, harmony, beastie, Jason Bourne and truthdancer, who have graced my journey with friendship.
So LDS, exLDS, non-LDS, believers and non-believers,
When you count your blessings, what are you thankful for today?
Jersey Girl
:-)