Blixa wrote:As I recently said to another newcomer, this board has a long history and many of the "regulars" have complicated histories with each other both on and off board. There are several communities here, in fact, and some of them have nothing at all to do with each other.
I've been away from Mormonism most of my life and now I've lived outside of Utah over half my life. A little over a decade ago, some work I was doing in contemporary art/history of photography surprisingly reawakened an interest in western Americana and the history of Utah Mormonism, two things quite far from my usual scholarly occupations. Since my new interest coincided with the birth of "Mormon studies," I've been drawn into reading and research I could have never predicted.
This is one reason why I read and write here. The other is the friendships I've been lucky enough to make.
I wrote about this in a post earlier this year:
Of Vomit and Honey: why I post at MDB.
Also, jo, don't be afraid to use the Ignore button!
Wow - I just finished reading your link; it was beautiful.
I've been learning to see people differently. All of my life I have loved people - even those who weren't fond of me (and I could never figure out why some just seemed to not like me from the get go). I just seemed to have been born with this inbred thing about loving others, giving others the benefit of the doubt, etc. And I had a very rough childhood - abuse and health issues, which I decided at a very young age I would not allow to change me. Anyway, recently, my trying to love others has changed to a different understanding. It is one I realize now was always there, but I had never made the conscious connection between the words I was saying vs what those words really looked like.
To make a long story less boring, I have reached a stage where I not only continue to try to love others regardless of what they have or have not done in connection with me, I am seeing them as the spirits they truly are. The flesh and bones which house their spirit, are becoming less visible to me. Their words and actions are having less and less of an effect on me as far as the world goes. However, spiritually speaking, I am not only loving them as people, I am seeing their spirit with such compassion and a different level of "loving", it sometimes literally takes my breath away. To speak the words "we are all God's children" used to be only a mantra, even though I felt a genuine connection to others. Now, the level of that connection has sharply changed...I can only describe it as getting glimpses of what becoming "one" is all about.
Everyone has something they can teach us.
by the way, I understand and have seen comments made by PaPa which sometimes appear inappropriate. His poetry tells a different story then some of his words and actions. If I recall correctly, a year or two ago he had some medical issues which may or may not have something to do with how he can be perceived. Of course, to me, none of this remains relevant for long, as I have this tendancy to just love him.
Don't misunderstand me. I am not impervious to slings and arrows...it's just that I seem to recover more quickly and am able to access that other level of loving, without needing to hide and lick my wounds so much anymore. I had a recent experience with someone the other day. While they were screaming and yelling with their finger in my face, their words suddenly became like a white noise. I recognized instead the lifetime of circumstances that had brought them to that moment, and I experienced a glimpse beyond the veil in a way I cannot explain. It was pretty awesome, humbling, exhilarating, joyful, and exhausting....all at the same moment. Ahh, but it was just for a moment. The world still has its grip on my physical being.
Best regards,
jo