Why everyone else thinks garments are ridiculous

[_sock puppet]

Were JSJr and Hyrum Smith wearing garments in the Carthage Jail?

Legend says Joseph Smith wasn't.

His Jupiter Talisman didn't seem to work any better than garments would have.

[_MCB]

His Jupiter Talisman didn't seem to work any better than garments would have.

Even that dinky pistol wasn't good protection. I think he had pretty well gone as far as he could go.

[_moksha]

Dear Commando Buffalo,

Every part and tag of us is sacred. Whatever clothing that touches us is darn lucky.

[_sock puppet]

His Jupiter Talisman didn't seem to work any better than garments would have.

Even that dinky pistol wasn't good protection. I think he had pretty well gone as far as he could go.

Hey, once a man is dead, the size of his penis ought to be off limits.

[_maklelan]

Apologists often compare garments to a nun's habit or a yarmulke or a priestly collar, only worn under the clothing. Sure, that's fine. Lots of religions have some sort of holy item of clothing (though not usually as totemic in the modern West as Mormon garments seem to be). But here's why everyone else thinks garments ("sacred underwear") are ridiculous. By making your cloth into a pair of underwear, you're exposing it to the things that really would defile it.

What if you were to take a yarmulke and rub it all over your genitals, your butt, and (if you're a woman) your breasts? Wouldn't that defile it? What if you were to do that to the veil in the temple? Feces, semen and menstrual blood are all "unclean" per Jewish law. Contact with them would render you unclean as a Jew and you'd need to undergo a purification ritual. Garments shouldn't touch the floor, but they're exposed to urine stains, skid marks, semen and menstrual blood as a manner of normal usage. Those of us who served missions in Latin America also exposed our garments to full-on projectile diarrhea, at least once. It's a bad joke. That's why everyone laughs at your holy underwear, faithful Mormons.

So you think non-Mormons who ridicule Mormon garments as "Magic Underwear" do so because they have determined that LDS garments conflict with unnamed ancient purity laws, and thus produce the opposite of the intended effect? I suppose that's one theory. I think it's far more likely that the people who are the most vocal about LDS garments are (1) generally looking for something to bitch about, and (2) are amused by Latter-day Saints who actually attribute supernatural powers to their garments.

[_MCB]

Hey, once a man is dead, the size of his penis ought to be off limits.

Not irrelevant when he got his jollies off on showing it off to every woman he saw.

[_sock puppet]

I think it's far more likely that the people who are the most vocal about LDS garments are (1) generally looking for something to bitch about, and (2) are amused by Latter-day Saints who actually attribute supernatural powers to their garments.

I thought that the supernatural powers being attributed had been abandoned, and they are now just explained as being physical reminders of covenants made. Do LDS yet attribute supernatural powers to garments?

[_maklelan]

I thought that the supernatural powers being attributed had been abandoned, and they are now just explained as being physical reminders of covenants made. Do LDS yet attribute supernatural powers to garments?

There always have been and always will be people who think that way about garments.

[_Kishkumen]

I thought that the supernatural powers being attributed had been abandoned, and they are now just explained as being physical reminders of covenants made. Do LDS yet attribute supernatural powers to garments?

There always have been and always will be people who think that way about garments.

And we call those people 'believers.'

[_maklelan]

And we call those people 'believers.'

Zing!