Stemelbowism: Race for the Cure

[_Darth J]

Stemelbowism is a debilitating condition that afflicts all of those who read and/or participate on Mormon Discussions.

Stemelbowism is caused by a Mormon Discussions member who is trolling without even realizing it. He genuinely appears to believe that his bafflingly insipid streams of consciousness and vacuous observations are actually profound, insightful, or persuasive. Once a lurker or participant on Mormon Discussions contacts the agent from which Stemelbowism arises, he or she will be subjected to statements like this:

"The out for believers is the reason for belief is in faith (meaning the experiences they consider spiritual provide reason to believe), but for atheists they are stuck having to rely on verifyable scientific methods and reasoning to prove his/her position, which is impossible to do."

or this:

"You are trying to change it from not being a analogy but a parallel event."

or this:

"I humbly admit my faith, even if evidence to me, is not a valid demonstration of my beliefs. Therefore I concede my position is untenable in the realm of formal argument. I then have decided since its untenable in terms of logical argument, I am left to see whether the critics position is tenable. As I examine the claim that the Church is proven not true, I am left to note that is also untenable. My faith then continues to have room to flourish. Afterall for me, my faith is evidence."

or this:

"Knowledge isn't as easily attained as some presume. The experiences are up to personal interpretation. and surely, as such, some people misinterpret. That's not to suggest that any who rely on experiences to guide create faith are somehow wrong though."

by a person who actually thought that this word salad meant something when he posted it.

Being told that "this joint" does not understand logic, or that a sufferer personally does not understand logic, by a person who relentlessly employs syllogistic fallacies, double standards, special pleading, shifting the burden of proof, faulty analogies, faulty premises, begging the question, argument by assertion, and argument by repetition are common signs that a Mormon Discussions lurker or participant is suffering from Stemelbowism.

Mormon Discussions lurkers and participants who are suffering from the effects of Stemelbowism sometimes try to fight against its pernicious effects. When attempting to treat Stemelbowism with facts, logic, or reason, sufferers will invariably find themselves being told they are whining, they are deflecting, they missed the point, and/or that they are hostile. Those afflicted by Stemelbowism may also find themselves, alternatively, assailed by a contrived, hillbilly folksy patois designed to irritate, then confronted with a rambling soliloquy of nonsense that is mistakenly supposed to be an intelligible message.

We urge you all to give generously in the search for a cure for Stemelbowism. Those who have studied Stemelbowism believe that forcing its cause to give substantive, direct answers to questions exposing poor reasoning and fatuous thinking may help relieve those who are subjected to his vapid posts and then told they either did not understand it or are persecuting him (or both). Your pledge today can help you, and the many like you, who desperately wish to be cured of Stemelbowism, and have found that not even the board's "ignore" feature is sufficient to escape its painful symptoms.

Together, we can make a difference. Please join me in pledging to copy and post the following questions shown in color in response to each and every post made by Stemelbow you see, giving him no other reply until he directly, substantively answers them.

1. You have stated, "The Church stands or falls on certain propisitions but not on all propisitions." viewtopic.php?f=1&t=21389&start=84 Please list the propositions on which the Church stands or falls.

2. Please specify what, if anything, Joseph Smith could have done that would make him cease to be a prophet.

3. Two 20 year-old boys come to your house and tell you that they have a sacred book that has a divine message from God. The book says that we should be honest and virtuous, that we should treat other people kindly. However, the book is based on the premise that Rodney Dangerfield is a Martian who became the President of the United States. The boys tell you to pray about the book. You read some parts from the book about kindness and compassion to others, pray about it, and feel very strongly that God wants us to act the way the book tells us to. A couple days later, you tell the two boys that you had this experience. The boys tell you this is proof that the book is a true story. Should you now accept as fact the proposition that Rodney Dangerfield was a Martian who became the President of the United States?

4. There is no conclusive proof that Joseph Smith and Brigham Young did not have a homosexual relationship. Since this proposition has not been conclusively proven to be false, why shouldn't critics of the Church believe that it happened?

[_Buffalo]

Harsh bro. But true. :o

[Guest]

I don't want to scare anyone, but if something isn't done this could be the future of the board.

[Guest]

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[_consiglieri]

Put me down for ten bucks.

Heck, it's a good cause.

Make it twenty.