Teaching Children: Fears and Critical Thinking

[_zeezrom]

How about this:

1. We simply don't know what will happen, darling.
2. But we can pretend lots of things. What do you like to pretend will happen? Do you want to hear what I pretend about?
3. Listen to her ideas.
4. Tell her your ideas. Share with her the profound, happiest ideas you have about the heavens and angels and whatnot. What if angels had wings and what if we could be one of those angels?

I have found that my kids light up when we talk about make believe stuff like that. Kind of a game. But a fun game.

[_just me]

It's definitely two separate issues, I just didn't wanna make two threads.. LOL

She usually just leaves her light on really late. I will encourage her to use her flashlight or nightlight. I think she also lays in bed awake too long and her mind fixates on scary thoughts.

angsty, just saw your post. Thanks for sharing your experience. I did tell daughter that she can wake herself from a bad dream and think of things that make her happy. I also told her monsters and ghosts aren't real.

Zee, I have always liked asking my kids what they think rather than imposing a bunch of answers on them. It is fun and liberating for them.

[_Blixa]

I agree with LDST, there are two separate issues here that have gotten slightly overlapped.

1) For night fears: I'm sure you know how many ways this can be addressed. When I was a kid, I liked having a small night light and having the bedroom door left open a small crack (so my parents could hear me scream when the monsters attacked). I also made up my own "magic charm" to recite to myself. I don't remember why this worked, but my "spell" was "Iona, Inverness, Byzantium." I'm sure this is similar to the relaxation techniques you've shared with her already.

2) For death/god fears: I remember musing on different kinds of "big picture" fears at night when I couldn't sleep. I think answering her questions calmly and seriously will eventually help: being taken seriously is a wonderful thing when you're a kid and everyone is usually giving you infantile answers. I remember being worried once after a Sunday School teacher harped on how these were the end times and all of us would live to see Christ return very soon. The idea that I wouldn't get to grow up was pretty disquieting even if I didn't totally buy it. My grandmother handled this quite emphatically, "Pshaw! They've been saying that since before I was born."

[_Morley]

As a child, reading in bed until I went to sleep helped distract me (of course, I had to use a flashlight under the covers so I didn't get caught). Something else to focus on, like Blixa's 'magic charm,' can keep the mind from feeding on itself. I once gave my niece a magical baseball to keep away her monsters. She slept with it for years.

[_why me]

. I remember being worried once after a Sunday School teacher harped on how these were the end times and all of us would live to see Christ return very soon. The idea that I wouldn't get to grow up was pretty disquieting even if I didn't totally buy it. My grandmother handled this quite emphatically, "Pshaw! They've been saying that since before I was born."

Were you eight years old when you were told that these were the last days? The sunday school teacher made a mistake,if so. At eight, I never thought about growing up. I was just eight with eight year old thoughts. I made my communion at seven and confirmation at 11. Went to catechism every sunday morning but I was still a child with child throughts.

[_why me]

...But, I don't recall ever having a skeptical thought about LDSism)

I guess she talked to her TBM dad about it and he made charts about the Plan O' Salvation and stuff like that.

Has she heard you and your husband discussing LDS truth claims? Has she heard you voice doubts about the church or about god? She seems conflicted between what her dad and mom may believe. And it may not be easy for a child to hear that life ends at death.