Speculation on Polygamy...

[_Fiannan]

I also found that underneath the acceptance of polygamy as a choice, there still ran a feeling that there really was something wrong with women who chose it. The idea that something must have happened to these women for them to be so lacking in self-esteem. It was acceptance tinged with pity for polygamous wives, yes they can accept intellectually that someone may choose it but for themselves it remains an emotionally negative situation for them personally. Acceptance of polygamy as a valid lifestyle choice doesn't equate to enthusiasm for choosing if as one's own lifestyle, I don't see an appreciable number of women wanting to choose it for themselves.

The same attitude exists towards women who marry men twice or more their age yet many (most?) people know at least one couple in their neighborhood or PTA who are happily married and fit that mold. So maybe you would not get all the single women in your town all marrying into polygamy but in a nation as large as the USA just a percent of women would mean hundreds of thousands of women, if not more, willing to give it a try. My speculation is that the number might be more in the low double digits if the man they were interested in was considered an ideal specimen.

[_Yoda]

Here's a hypothetical question to ponder on.

If the Prophet announces at the next conference that Polygamy is reinstated and requires all the High Priests and Elders of the Church to marry an additional wife and that the Bishops were to make the assignments:

What percentage would obediently comply?

Would you?

There is no way in hell I would comply. Even NOMness has its limits.

[_Drifting]

Men and women seem to view Polygamy differently.

For men,
Polygamy = Playboy mansion

For women,
Polygamy = Prisoner Cell Block H

[_Yoda]

Men and women seem to view Polygamy differently.

For men,
Polygamy = Playboy mansion

For women,
Polygamy = Prisoner Cell Block H

Frankly, I think that the decent men would find polygamy as hard to accept as women. If it is practiced correctly, there is a lot of responsibility that comes along with it. They have to be able to both emotionally and financially support more than one woman. If you are truly in love with someone, it is unfathomable as to how to double that love. I think that is why many men and women were quoted as saying that romantic love plays no part in polygamy. It can't.

[_cafe crema]

I also found that underneath the acceptance of polygamy as a choice, there still ran a feeling that there really was something wrong with women who chose it. The idea that something must have happened to these women for them to be so lacking in self-esteem. It was acceptance tinged with pity for polygamous wives, yes they can accept intellectually that someone may choose it but for themselves it remains an emotionally negative situation for them personally. Acceptance of polygamy as a valid lifestyle choice doesn't equate to enthusiasm for choosing if as one's own lifestyle, I don't see an appreciable number of women wanting to choose it for themselves.

The same attitude exists towards women who marry men twice or more their age yet many (most?) people know at least one couple in their neighborhood or PTA who are happily married and fit that mold. So maybe you would not get all the single women in your town all marrying into polygamy but in a nation as large as the USA just a percent of women would mean hundreds of thousands of women, if not more, willing to give it a try. My speculation is that the number might be more in the low double digits if the man they were interested in was considered an ideal specimen.

Sure you would get some, I'm sure there are some now, outside any LDS influence, who are effectively living polygamously. My point is that a larger percentage of people who want to live polygamy want do so without a religious component, that in fact they would be people least inclined to subjecting themselves to religious rule. And that reinstatement of polygamy by the LDS church is unlikely to "grow the church" with new polygamous members.

As to the age thing, I honestly can't think of any couple I've known where a woman has married someone twice her age, a difference of 5-15 years yes, but twice or more her age no, no one.

[_Drifting]

Men and women seem to view Polygamy differently.

For men,
Polygamy = Playboy mansion

For women,
Polygamy = Prisoner Cell Block H

Frankly, I think that the decent men would find polygamy as hard to accept as women. If it is practiced correctly, there is a lot of responsibility that comes along with it. They have to be able to both emotionally and financially support more than one woman. If you are truly in love with someone, it is unfathomable as to how to double that love. I think that is why many men and women were quoted as saying that romantic love plays no part in polygamy. It can't.

Hi Liz, I'm not sure most men think the way that you think they think.
A male is much more able to have a plethora of partners without it causing them emotional challenges. Simply because emotion plays a much smaller role in a mans psyche. Men are built to be hunting, gathering, seed spreaders! The financial point I believe is a fair challenge but most men, given the excuse of the Prophet commanding it, would find Polygamy appealing on one or more levels - but mainly one level.

[_Yoda]

Hi Liz, I'm not sure most men think the way that you think they think.
A male is much more able to have a plethora of partners without it causing them emotional challenges. Simply because emotion plays a much smaller role in a mans psyche. Men are built to be hunting, gathering, seed spreaders! The financial point I believe is a fair challenge but most men, given the excuse of the Prophet commanding it, would find Polygamy appealing on one or more levels - but mainly one level.

OK, Drifting...You're a man. And, from what I have read, I would consider you a very decent, loving man. Would polygamy appeal to you?

Answer honestly...if you still strongly believed in the Church, and you were asked to live polygamy, would it be a problem for you?

What would you do if your wife was solidly against it? Would you leave her to practice it with others who were willing? Or would you stay with her, and reject polygamy and the prophet's command?

[_Drifting]

Hi Liz, I'm not sure most men think the way that you think they think.
A male is much more able to have a plethora of partners without it causing them emotional challenges. Simply because emotion plays a much smaller role in a mans psyche. Men are built to be hunting, gathering, seed spreaders! The financial point I believe is a fair challenge but most men, given the excuse of the Prophet commanding it, would find Polygamy appealing on one or more levels - but mainly one level.

OK, Drifting...You're a man.

True

And, from what I have read, I would consider you a very decent, loving man.

Also true

Would polygamy appeal to you?

On a sexual level, yes - but that's the boy in me speaking.
On a living and loving 24/7 with more than 1 woman level, no.

Answer honestly...if you still strongly believed in the Church, and you were asked to live polygamy, would it be a problem for you?

Yes. See above.

What would you do if your wife was solidly against it? Would you leave her to practice it with others who were willing? Or would you stay with her, and reject polygamy and the prophet's command?

I would totally reject Polygamy because my wife is more important to me than the Prophet, and for that matter God.
In actual fact, in my case, my wife would be more likely to be obedient to the instruction regardless of what she personally felt about it.

[_Yoda]

I would totally reject Polygamy because my wife is more important to me than the Prophet, and for that matter God.

And this, my friend, was my point. ;-)

[_ajax18]

My speculation is that the number might be more in the low double digits if the man they were interested in was considered an ideal specimen.

Just out of curiosity, how many of the women in this conversation would consider Kody Brown an ideal specimen. Am I right that two of his wives did not grow up in polygamous culture. His wife Robin was once married to another man in a monogamous relationship. That's at least two women who left a monogamous culture for the polygamous one. Is it because Kody is that attractive?

For the record, even I would not want to live polygamy. I just don't see it as a very happy situation. I always thought I would want to cheat if I married because that's how I'm wired as a man, but now that I'm married, I really don't. If I had children, I doubt I'd even remarry if my wife died. I hate stepmarriages and would always feel like I was bringing a stranger into the family where she didn't belong.