Zelder wrote:Explain to me how it is fulfilling to the woman. It seems to me that for the woman, everything decreases. Your first paragraph makes perfect sense, and is what I think of when I envision a monogamous celestial marriage. The second paragraph makes no sense at all. I sort of get the "more people for support", but you don't need a "sister wife" to have support. As far as sexual options...it seems to me that those options are rather one-sided.
The second paraphraph was simply explaining why covenants help us live more happily and help us love each other.
I thought I had made it clear but in the third paragraph I was talking about polgynandry not just polygyny. All options on the table. Men have multiple wives and women have multiple husbands (if that's what people want). Everybody bound toghether in a covenant to love each other, take care of each other and share their wealth, talants and even their sexuality with each other.
zeezrom wrote:...but there is a chance the wife may love having sister wives. I just don't know.
I understand the emotional bond that exist between women. I have some very close female friends. However, I cannot imagine sharing my husband with any of them.
Zee wrote:1. My current wife would have no choice but to distance herself emotionally from me. 2. My current wife would be expected to replace some of that bond she once had with me to her sister wife. 3. If she was unable to do #2, she would end up going inward, potentially harming herself.
You absolutely hit the nail on the head with these. And, based on some of the journals of women who lived plural marriage, this is exactly what happened. They replaced a substantial amount of the type of bond you should have with a husband with the sister wife. Emotionally, I think it is the only way to survive. If you didn't distance yourself emotionally from your husband in that situation, then every time your husband is sleeping with one of your sister wives, you are dying just a little bit more inside.
Zelder wrote:thought I had made it clear but in the third paragraph I was talking about polgynandry not just polygyny. All options on the table. Men have multiple wives and women have multiple husbands (if that's what people want). Everybody bound toghether in a covenant to love each other, take care of each other and share their wealth, talants and even their sexuality with each other.
I didn't understand that you were referring to both polyandry and polygyny. I will have to reevaluate my response based on that. Sorry.
Zelder wrote:thought I had made it clear but in the third paragraph I was talking about polgynandry not just polygyny. All options on the table. Men have multiple wives and women have multiple husbands (if that's what people want). Everybody bound toghether in a covenant to love each other, take care of each other and share their wealth, talants and even their sexuality with each other.
I didn't understand that you were referring to both polyandry and polygyny. I will have to reevaluate my response based on that. Sorry.
It seems to me that is what Joseph Smith was doing becasue a third of his wives were already married.
Again, the only difference between fornication and righteous sex is a covenant. Similarly, I think the only difference between swinging and Joseph Smith's plural marriage is....a covenant!
I believe God is not particularly interested in human sexuality, he is only interested in how we love each other and that we are happy. The covenant is the vehicle that helps us learn to love and be happy in our relationships.
zeezrom wrote:...but there is a chance the wife may love having sister wives. I just don't know.
No one ever talks about the bathroom situation in plural marriages. I have one wife and three bathrooms (well, two and a half). Regardless of the math, I still have trouble sometimes getting in when necessary. Not to mention the heavy additional expenditure in toilet paper (the polite term is "bath tissue"... you would be very unhappy if you took it into the bath with you).
This, or any other post that I have made or will make in the future, is strictly my own opinion and consequently of little or no value.
"Faith is believing something you know ain't true" Twain.
marg wrote:I only watched a couple of shows Liz. The impression I had at the time was that it glamorized polygamy.
I've watched all the Big Love series available through Netfix. I haven't seen the latest season yet. I really enjoy the series.
However, Marg, I have to completely disagree with you that the series glamorizes polygamy. in my opinion, the series does a spectacular job of showing all of the profound dilemmas and warts of polygamy from both a woman's and man's perspective. I do remember much of the initial advertising for Big Love before the series premiered, and I see how that advertising could give the impression that the series was going to glamorize polygamy. However, the actual story arcs are packed full of all the crap and baggage that is at the heart of polygamy.
mcjathan wrote: However, Marg, I have to completely disagree with you that the series glamorizes polygamy.
So assuming your impression of polygamy has been impacted by the show, what is your impression? Do you perceive it as abusive to the women and children or not?
mcjathan wrote: However, Marg, I have to completely disagree with you that the series glamorizes polygamy.
So assuming your impression of polygamy has been impacted by the show, what is your impression? Do you perceive it as abusive to the women and children or not?
Yes, very abusive and coercive to women and children.
It also tends to bring out the worst in men -- even decent men who aspire to practice polygamy kindly or gently.
For men who's nature is already selfish or tyrannical, my sense is polygamy will turn them into something very ugly.
mcjathan wrote: Yes, very abusive and coercive to women and children.
Ok thanks. As I said I only watched about 2 episodes of the show.
I find Sister Wives paints polygamy in an unrealistic positive light.
Clarification: Big Love illustrates abuse that results from the dilemmas that Zee describes (below). In Big Love, there is no physical abuse.
zeezrom wrote:1. My current wife would have no choice but to distance herself emotionally from me. 2. My current wife would be expected to replace some of that bond she once had with me to her sister wife. 3. If she was unable to do #2, she would end up going inward, potentially harming herself.