Pretty or Hot?

[_wife2zeezrom]

I need some feedback on this article. Good and bad. Why does it disturb me a bit? Or am I over-reacting? What does the author mean by "innocence"?

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-death-of-pretty

[_Morley]

Gotta go to bed but couldn't resist a comment.

The article bothered me, too. 'Pretty' is what little girls are. Archbold seems to want women to be little girls. Personally, I prefer women--and I won't even get into his seemingly distorted sense of what is 'hot.'

G'nite, Zee's Wife.

[Guest]

I need some feedback on this article. Good and bad. Why does it disturb me a bit? Or am I over-reacting? What does the author mean by "innocence"?

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-death-of-pretty

There isn't much difference between the catholic church and the Mormon church when it comes to modesty.

In some ways, he is right. Many young women want to appear hot and not pretty. In fact, I do think that pretty is out of vogue. Men can refer to women as being hot. I haven't heard pretty in a long time. The connotation is revealing and relates to the pornoification of society where hot is good. And yet, what does hot mean? I think that there is a sexual connotation to it. But pretty seems to be more admiration for her beauty.

And for men: what happened to handsome? Now we hear hot, hunk etc. And what is the connotation? Sex? Handsome is more toward admiration for the man's looks.

[_MsJack]

"Pretty" and "hot" (in the senses described by that columnist) are just different sides of the same coin. They're both ways of objectifying women and teaching them that their value is primarily found in how they look and how their looks effect men.

I don't want to be "pretty" or "hot." I want to be thoughtful, bold, patient, godly, honest, and kind. If a man happens to like how I look on top of that, how nice for him.

[_why me]

"Pretty" and "hot" (in the senses described by that columnist) are just different sides of the same coin. They're both ways of objectifying women and teaching them that their value is primarily found in how they look and how their looks effect men.

I don't want to be "pretty" or "hot." I want to be thoughtful, bold, patient, godly, honest, and kind. If a man happens to like how I look on top of that, how nice for him.

Nonsense. Men should find women pretty and women should find men handsome. Nothing wrong in that. It is called attraction. Loosen up.

[_MsJack]

Nonsense. Men should find women pretty and women should find men handsome. Nothing wrong in that. It is called attraction.

I didn't say men shouldn't find women pretty. I said nothing about what men should or should not do. I said that women shouldn't prioritize a desire to evoke a certain response from men re: their looks. I think it's much healthier for women to learn to love themselves for their own sake and prioritize their other qualities.

Read Proverbs 31. It has a lot to say about what a desirable woman is like. And the only thing it has to say about physical beauty is this:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Loosen up.

Or, you could try thinking about my posts for longer than 15 seconds before firing off a vapid and shallow response.

[_sethpayne]

I need some feedback on this article. Good and bad. Why does it disturb me a bit? Or am I over-reacting? What does the author mean by "innocence"?

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-death-of-pretty

I disagree with the premise.

Yes, my wife is pretty; in fact, she is stunningly beautiful. The fact that she is a strong, independent, kind, and compassionate woman who loves and supports me makes her more beautiful to me as time goes by. She's also smokin' hot! :)

That's not to say she isn't innocent; in many ways she is -- just as we all are.

Heaven knows why she finds me handsome. I figure it must be due to something other than my physical appearance because come on ... anyone on here who is friends with me on Facebook can attest to the fact I'm not exactly a looker. Of course, my hope is that she finds me handsome for the same reason I find her beautiful: love.

Now, to be a bit less sappy. Do I find my wife physically attractive? Of course. We were friends for 13 year before she finally agreed to marry me ... and I've always found her "pretty." In reality, my attraction to her has increased over the years because of who she is.

There are plenty of women who, at first glance, are very pretty. Then you take them on a date and they are rude, insulting, inconsiderate etc.... That kills the pretty factor very quickly. The opposite is true as well. In particular I remember a girl at BYU, I don't even remember her name, who when I first saw her, her physical appearance didn't overwhelm me but then I heard her sing and all of a sudden I could see how pretty she was. She was also an incredibly kind and well-rounded person.

Personally I find the article insulting to men as it implies that all we care about is physical appearance and, dare I say submissive, women. This simply isn't true. All the men I respect and admire don't look for "innocence" and an opportunity to "protect" women -- they look for women of strong character. That's not to say men don't want to protect their wives, we do. We went to see Rob Zombie and Slayer earlier this year and were down in "the pit." If any of you have seen a Slayer concert you know how insane the pit can become. I held my wife close and kept an eye out for what was an ever increasing mosh pit. There is a part of the song "Chemical Warfare" when the music becomes incredibly fast and intense and, as I heard that this part of the song was coming up I made sure to pull back a bit so that we were out of harm's way. Having seen Slayer before I knew what was coming. I have no doubt my wife could fend for herself but I also know that I'm bigger and heavier than my wife and have a better chance of knocking back a stoned 6 foot 5, 270 lb mosher. We both had a hell of a time and for me, getting bruised up a bit is part of the fun.

In one of these you can see the back of my head up front:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTKWTpu6ev4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... iiFlfWyF60

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiiFlfWy ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQzLboqg ... re=related

Now, there are times when my wife will go all out by doing her makeup in a special way or by wearing a special dress/skirt/outfit. She does this as an expression of love and appreciation for me when we go to a romantic dinner or cocktail party. She does it every time we go to our favorite cigar lounge here in the city. I try to do the same thing for her because I know she likes the way I look in a suit with a nice haircut and shave. We both want to look our best for each other but she will always know that I find her beautiful regardless of what she's wearing or how she's done her hair or makeup. I suppose it makes those times when she does "doll herself up" even more special. Not only because I love the way she looks but also because I know she went to the effort, not to please me, but because it is one way she expresses her love.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

Hello Mr. Seth,

Pics of hot wife or GTFO.

Thank you in advance.

V/R
Dr. Cam

[_sethpayne]

Hello Mr. Seth,

Pics of hot wife or GTFO.

Thank you in advance.

V/R
Dr. Cam

My wife is very much a private person and would not appreciate me posting her picture on a message board so Dr. Cam, GTFO.

With absolutely no respect,

Seth

[_consiglieri]

I don't want to be "pretty" or "hot." I want to be thoughtful, bold, patient, godly, honest, and kind. If a man happens to like how I look on top of that, how nice for him.

And you succeed on all counts, MsJack.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri