OPEN LETTER to Runtu

[_Bond James Bond]

At least you have a life. A wife whom, I presume, at least at one point you could look at naked without throwing up. Children. My "children" (dogs) all died on me. Attractive women don't marry men who work 12 hours per day, 6 days per week, at 900 per month. If you saw the kind of woman who would marry such a man, that will explain to you why I never married "that" woman. So, don't be so depressed. You have a WONDERFUL life. So, yes, I think Scott Gordon is in denial. I think Dan Peterson is in denial. I think all "initiated" (those who know the facts) Mormon apologists are in denial. Why? Because....for them either Mormonism is true, or there is no God and life has no purpose. False dichotomy, but that's how they view things. So, NO, I just can't give up "Mormonism" completely and "get on with my life" because I have none to "get on" with. At least, my crusade against Mormonism gives me purpose beyond myself. It makes me feel I'm fighting an Evil Empire, like Luke Skywalker. He really didn't have a life either. The only woman he "dug" was his own sister, Yoda died on him, and his own father was a complete asshole. Kind of like my life, but I don't have a sister. Luke didn't have a woman, a house, nor children. He had R2D2 and a light-sabor. That's it. But he had a MISSION....to defeat the Evil Empire. That gave him purpose in life, something larger than himself, a reason to live. So, Runtu, don't be so depressed. You've got it pretty damn good, actually.

True, if I can save an $20 (which is not easy) a month, I go down to the strip club and have some super-sexy naked 18 year old get one inch from my nose.
But, after that, I go home alone. She'll go home and crawl in bed with her meth-addicted outlaw biker boyfriend whom she supports (food, rent, drug habit), even though he cheats on her with everybody, hits her occassionally, steals from her even though she pays for everything. She loves HIM. Me....no way! I'm just a "chump"; one of many she sees every day. She couldn't love me anymore than I could fall in love with an Umbangi woman with AIDS and breasts handing down below her knees. So, at the end of the night, I get back into my 1973 Pinto with the cracked windshied, torn up apolstery, leaking room (and I live where it rains all the time), rotting floorboards, hoping it will start, and go home to my laptop (which I saved up 8 years to buy for $130 dollars), and my one-room shit-hole of an apartment in the seediest side of town where I have to hope that I don't find a dead homeless person sleeping my my car tomorrow morning. The beautiful 18 year stripper will go home to her meth-addicted abusive cheating no-good boyfriend, probably to find him in bed with another stripper. But...will she love me? Hell no! She loves HIM, and always will. Its in her DNA.

True, I could go to the Mormon Single's Dances, and I do occassionally. I will go there, and it will be the same: a bunch of fat, ugly, old, or mentally-challenged LDS woman sitting along the walls, or around tables, as a few people dance (badly) to "Give Me That Old Time Rock-and-Roll". Maybe five or six couples are dancing. Usually, a very sexy woman and her rich Non-Mormon boyfriend, and then you have two fat chicks dancing together because no man ever asks them, then you have a few plain janes of ages 35 to 65 dancing with a few old men. Now, I could probably find a plain jane with a few extra pounds, who is about 35 to 55, at these dances. Rare, but possible. But, of course, they're going to date the guy who is 75 and owns his own business rather than me. I'm 51, but these gals are going to go for the guy who is 65 or older with a business and his own home. Can't blame them, I guess; no more than they should "blame" me for going to a strip club. That's about it. It's either "that" or the stripclub, or staying home. Those are my choices. So, Runtu, you have it pretty good. I wouldn't be so depressed if I were you.

So, for those who say, "Darrick, you need to get on with your life". I have to say, I don't have one. I can't "get" one. There is no light at the end of this tunnel. Unless I win the lotto, I can't "get" a life. Impossible if you work all the time, have no money or time for school, and make barely enough to survive. Oh yes, if I was a Mormon, the Church would want 10 per cent of what little income I do make, and Uncle Sam wants me to send some of my money in! He'll send it back later. But, what dear Uncle Sam doesn't know, is that if I send money "in" I can't eat now. I can't wait for later to eat.

Faithful Mormons will say, "Oh, had you been a good worthy Member of the Church, then the Lord would have sent you great blessings, and you would have been successful and had a beautiful woman to take to the Temple!"

b***s***! I WAS a good "worthy" member of the Church for many years. I did all the things. In fact, I did not have sex of any kind, and all my single Mormons friends DID, and THEY were the ones "blessed". Their businesses and professions thrived. They married young sexy sweet things in the Temple (or married them otherwise). Yet, they were highly immoral in their personal lives. It shewed me that personal morality means nothing as far as material success or procuring a young sexy Mormon woman. Nothing. What matters is personality, drive, ambition...the same things that attract women to any man. Mormon women are no different from any other women. Not in the least.

So, fighting against the Evil Empire (the Mormon Church) does give me "mission" in life, a reason for being, something beyond myself, something "greater" than myself, a purpose other than simply to survive. I'm Luke Skywalker, and the Mormon Church is the evil empire with Tommy Monson (the Dark Sith Lord Emperor) at its head.

Jesus H. Christ you cry like a bitch.

[_bcspace]

You clearly have no *self edit* clue about depression. You should educate yourself before spouting worthless *self edit* all over the board. Medication works a lot better than just thinking about how good you got it. If you are depressed please see your doctor about it.

I've heard ice cream is a good substitute for Prozac.

[Guest]

Oh. Like, back in the olden days when rent and other crap was also cheaper? Ok. I think you're totally right.

So, like, today it would be some guy making about $2000 a month. Huh. I know lots of married men making around $2000 a month. It must be a festivus miracle!

Yes pretty much. I'm wondering how anyone can work 12 hrs day/7 days aweek and not get ahead...even at minimum wage if you're cheaply living alone in a cheap apartment you should be able to do something with your life. My guess is that he couldn't hold down the same job long enough to gain any benefits/raises and bounced from one minimum wage job to another. The trips to the strip club probably didn't help either. God helps those who don't stroke themselves you know.


(Not to mention the racism, homophobia, sexism, bigotry, and total lack of self-awareness and personality that is evident from this board.)

[_Yoda]

So, for those who say, "Darrick, you need to get on with your life". I have to say, I don't have one. I can't "get" one. There is no light at the end of this tunnel. Unless I win the lotto, I can't "get" a life. Impossible if you work all the time, have no money or time for school, and make barely enough to survive. Oh yes, if I was a Mormon, the Church would want 10 per cent of what little income I do make, and Uncle Sam wants me to send some of my money in! He'll send it back later. But, what dear Uncle Sam doesn't know, is that if I send money "in" I can't eat now. I can't wait for later to eat.

Darrick, my understanding is that you wrote a fairly successful book. Couldn't you have put the proceeds from your book toward your education? Also, if your income level is as low as you say it is, you would easily qualify for a Pell Grant. Your education would be 100% paid for, and you would also likely receive money for a computer, books, living expenses, etc. I work with college students every day. It's my job. There are students who are in their early 20's, but there is also a large portion of students who are in their 40's and 50's. To say that you have no life, and that the world or God has done you wrong is the coward's way out. If you want an education or a better job badly enough, you can find a way to do it. Do you want to know the reason I think that women didn't find you attractive? It had nothing to do with your looks or your phermones. It had everything to do with the fact that you gave up. You didn't pull yourself up by your bootstraps and decide to make something of yourself. Guess what, Darrick? You attract the kind of person you have similar interests with.

Quit making excuses.

I have offered you my help before. If you want some help finding grants, etc., and also find places in your area that can help with dyslexia, etc., I can probably give you some ideas.

[_Bond James Bond]

I've heard ice cream is a good substitute for Prozac.

There is nothing better than Prozac. It saved my life. And I mean literally.

[_Bond James Bond]

I continually hear Dahesh talking about "fat" women and this and that like he has any ground to stand on when it comes to passing judgment on their physical nature. Anyway, this one is dedicated to all the curvy ladies in the world. Real men love'em all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN42uzNFVmQ

[_Daheshist]

Please read "Some Answered Questions on Dr. Dahesh and Mormonism" in the posts below.

[_Zelder]

Real men love'em all.

That's the truth right there.

[_ajax18]

My guess is that he couldn't hold down the same job long enough to gain any benefits/raises and bounced from one minimum wage job to another.

That's pretty much what temp agencies did to me. I mean they always said it was due to some mistake I made in order to make me feel more insecure about myself.

Daheshist, I feel for you. I was once in your shoes. And it is every bit as bad as you're saying as far as I'm concerned. My religious beliefs did help me through it. And no, it wasn't from the voice of official current LDS authority. I believe in an ultimate reciprocity even when it comes to the most petty of injustices. You have to be confident in your beliefs of a good God and not let other people tell you otherwise. We can't choose the situation we find ourselves in. We can make choices that will result in a better situation in the future. That's all we can do.

[Guest]

From all the books I wrote I made a grand total of about 6,000 dollars.

Why have I been so "unsuccessful"? I told you...my fault. Certainly, my panic attacks, my Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (I'm allergic to most chemicals, perferms, colognes...violent allergic) didn't help. The fact that I contracted E-Coli in college, and lost my financial aid because I was sick for months, didn't help.
And..no...Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is NOT recognized as a viable disability by the U.S. Government, although thousands of people suffer from it, and some people have to literally move to Alaska and live off the land to get away from synthetic chemicals, or suffer horribly. I usually just suffer horribly.

Did I quite a good job before receiving benefits? The only job I had for a long time was Driving Instructor which I had off and on for about 12 years, and there were no benefits. No retirement. Very little work from October 15 to April 15, so during those months I drove old people and brain-injured people to doctor's appointments. No benefits to that job either, and many of the people would crap or barf in the van and I'd have to clean it up.

I don't blame God, or the Church. The Church wanted me to "not to worry" about finding answers to anti-Mormon questions. They wanted me to get an education, get a good job, get married, and be an active Member, without doubt or questions....a happy busy drone. A mindless worker bee. Well, most of their advice was good, and I should have taken it. But, I was DRIVEN to find out THE TRUTH, and I did, but it cost me my life. But....that's ok....men have died for lesser causes. I'm still alive. Maybe one day I'll have a dog again. Maybe one day I'll have a decent job. There is still hope for me. I'm not quite dead yet.

You write "Quit making excuses". Well, I'm putting blame where blame lies...on me! Simple as that.

If I have "insulted" fat women by saying I can't fall in love with them, I'm sorry. I tired. I dated one for two and one half years, trying to fall in love with her. I dated others from 1 date to maybe 10 dates. I tried. I prayed to God that HE would make them attactive to me (kind of like the Shallow Hal thing), but He did not answer that prayer. It never worked. I then prayed to God that He would take away all sexual desire, and it WORKED! I was a eunuch for over three years and I had absolutely NO sexual desire. AT first, it was a HUGE relief, but, after a while, it become boring. Life become very boring. And then my penis was receding up into my stomach. I knew that if I did not reverse this, then if I met a woman and fell in love, we would not have children. Also....to be frank....I wanted to have sexual desire again! Not that I would find a woman necessarily, but I wanted to be able to enjoy strip clubs and a Playboy magazine again. Life was too boring. So, I started praying again that God would RE-sexualize me, and He did, but it took a while! Very gradual. But, finally, He did. And my penis came back down again from up in my body. So, God allowed me to become a Eunuch, but He never allowed me to find fat women attractive enough for me to fall in love with one and want to marry her.

Fat Mormon women are great! They would make great mothers and wives. But, there is something called "sex". If the guy can't get excited, it ain't happening. Women don't need to be excited. Men do. If they can't get excited, it don't work. If I was a "Chubby Chaser" as some men are (mostly black men), then I would have married long ago, had children. But, God did not create me that way. I asked for Him to make fat woman attractive to me. He refused to do that.

Anyway, my POINT to Runtu was not to complain on what a bad life I have. My life is better than most third-world people. I am never hungry, seldom cold. I got cable TY, and a strip club down the street whenever I can scrape together $20. I can walk and talk. I have my health (except for my extreme allergic reactions to chemicals). My panic attacks are under control (for the moment). Life ain't bad. I just wanted to point out to Runtu, that has a good job, nice salary, a house, loving attractive wife, healthy loving children, that he should not be so depressed as he said he gets, because his life is GRAND! That was my point.

So, for those who say, "Darrick, you need to get on with your life". I have to say, I don't have one. I can't "get" one. There is no light at the end of this tunnel. Unless I win the lotto, I can't "get" a life. Impossible if you work all the time, have no money or time for school, and make barely enough to survive. Oh yes, if I was a Mormon, the Church would want 10 per cent of what little income I do make, and Uncle Sam wants me to send some of my money in! He'll send it back later. But, what dear Uncle Sam doesn't know, is that if I send money "in" I can't eat now. I can't wait for later to eat.

Darrick, my understanding is that you wrote a fairly successful book. Couldn't you have put the proceeds from your book toward your education? Also, if your income level is as low as you say it is, you would easily qualify for a Pell Grant. Your education would be 100% paid for, and you would also likely receive money for a computer, books, living expenses, etc. I work with college students every day. It's my job. There are students who are in their early 20's, but there is also a large portion of students who are in their 40's and 50's. To say that you have no life, and that the world or God has done you wrong is the coward's way out. If you want an education or a better job badly enough, you can find a way to do it. Do you want to know the reason I think that women didn't find you attractive? It had nothing to do with your looks or your phermones. It had everything to do with the fact that you gave up. You didn't pull yourself up by your bootstraps and decide to make something of yourself. Guess what, Darrick? You attract the kind of person you have similar interests with.

Quit making excuses.

I have offered you my help before. If you want some help finding grants, etc., and also find places in your area that can help with dyslexia, etc., I can probably give you some ideas.