Heroism when the Belief Bubble is Burst

[_sock puppet]

When my faith bubble burst (a bit gradually 1983-85), I was single, living far from my family and after about 12 months of trying out the apologetic way (and going to the temple 1X or 2X per week to try to become more 'spiritual'), I simply stopped attending church or any activities. I did not have any family or social ties that made it expedient for me to keep attending, despite my disbelief.

It was neither 'courageous' nor 'cowardly'. It was what it was.

I know that some of those that have lost faith have for family and social reasons continued to participate and 'act' faithful. I can understand why TBMs would detest this, find it hypocritical and even detest such Mormons, but I think they'd be amazed at how many in their Sunday congregations are doing just that, the reality be told.

As an ex-Mo whose path of least resistance was actually a clean break, I find those like Bishop Kloor courageous for how openly someone with such connections in the Mormon Church makes public his reasons for disbelief, but I think there is nothing cowardly or hypocritical about others that have lost belief continuing their social participation in Mormonism. Maybe that is because I see its only value as social, but I remember having heard many GAs talk about acting like you have a testimony, getting up and bearing a testimony as if you believe and then it will lead you to true belief. So I am wondering why TBMs that know that there are some social, non-believing Mormons here and elsewhere discussing the belief problems they have but yet participate in Mormonism.

[_Drifting]

I know that some of those that have lost faith have for family and social reasons continued to participate and 'act' faithful.

This is me.

I found that when I approached key people within the ward and stake with the questions and issues that I had, my questions could not be answered with anything other than a testimony.
One Church leader openly admitted that he didn't know the answers because the Church cannot provide them. The other berated me for having questions, as an endowed member he informed me that I was no longer allowed the freedom to question. I was just to obey and put questions to one side.

From then on I have been a marked man.

Not in any overt way, but I know that instead of chatting with me further on the topics I raised, conversations have been had with some of my family members to express worry and concern about my testimony and spiritual well being. I think they are frightened of me. I think they fear that my questions will become my spouses questions, or my extended families questions, or other ward members questions. The missionaries want to call round at our house to practice their lessons on an almost weekly basis, lesson teachers avoid asking me questions or for my contributions (as they do with other class members).

I think there is a lack of courage - but it exists within the ward and the stake, particularly the leaders. They lack the courage to grasp the opportunity to discuss the questions that cause people to leave the Church. Until that changes people will continue to flock away, either physically or just in spirit.

[_Fence Sitter]

So I am wondering why TBMs that know that there are some social, non-believing Mormons here and elsewhere discussing the belief problems they have but yet participate in Mormonism.

Sock I understand where you are going but your last sentence has me stumped. Are you asking why some TBMs react negatively to social Mormons?

[_sock puppet]

So I am wondering why TBMs that know that there are some social, non-believing Mormons here and elsewhere discussing the belief problems they have but yet participate in Mormonism.

Sock I understand where you are going but your last sentence has me stumped. Are you asking why some TBMs react negatively to social Mormons?

yes, inartfully, but yes.

[_sock puppet]

I know that some of those that have lost faith have for family and social reasons continued to participate and 'act' faithful.

This is me.

I found that when I approached key people within the ward and stake with the questions and issues that I had, my questions could not be answered with anything other than a testimony.
One Church leader openly admitted that he didn't know the answers because the Church cannot provide them. The other berated me for having questions, as an endowed member he informed me that I was no longer allowed the freedom to question. I was just to obey and put questions to one side.

From then on I have been a marked man.

Not in any overt way, but I know that instead of chatting with me further on the topics I raised, conversations have been had with some of my family members to express worry and concern about my testimony and spiritual well being. I think they are frightened of me. I think they fear that my questions will become my spouses questions, or my extended families questions, or other ward members questions. The missionaries want to call round at our house to practice their lessons on an almost weekly basis, lesson teachers avoid asking me questions or for my contributions (as they do with other class members).

I think there is a lack of courage - but it exists within the ward and the stake, particularly the leaders. They lack the courage to grasp the opportunity to discuss the questions that cause people to leave the Church. Until that changes people will continue to flock away, either physically or just in spirit.

An inquiring mind, an essential ingredient for the scientific method of ascertaining information, is considered a viral threat in religious circles.

[_lostindc]

Good points by Mr. Puppet and intriguing story by drifting.

I feel like drifting and I are in slightly similar situations. As soon as I out my lack of faith I have become a target in each ward I have expressed issues.

As for Mr. Puppet's points, an off-the-top-of-my-head estimate, roughly 50% or more are sitting in congregations and at the same time having serious questions about the validity of the LDS faith. Almost every leader I have encountered eventually comes up with "I am not sure" when I fire off my questions. I have given up asking because I believe I am not being fair to the Church leadership. I believe my expectations have been set way too high therefore if I lower my expectations then I no longer feel the need to discuss with Church leadership.

[_aranyborju]

As for Mr. Puppet's points, an off-the-top-of-my-head estimate, roughly 50% or more are sitting in congregations and at the same time having serious questions about the validity of the LDS faith.

A few months ago I would say that 50% number is high, but now I think that it is probably bang on.

When I finally started to openly question church doctrine among family members I found that 2 sisters, my mom, my father in law, my wife, and 2 brothers in law all went to church for social reasons or family reasons only and no longer had testimonies.

Needless to say my wife shocked me, but we also still attend church. We are planning a clean break sometime in the summer.

[_lostindc]

As for Mr. Puppet's points, an off-the-top-of-my-head estimate, roughly 50% or more are sitting in congregations and at the same time having serious questions about the validity of the LDS faith.

A few months ago I would say that 50% number is high, but now I think that it is probably bang on.

When I finally started to openly question church doctrine among family members I found that 2 sisters, my mom, my father in law, my wife, and 2 brothers in law all went to church for social reasons or family reasons only and no longer had testimonies.

Needless to say my wife shocked me, but we also still attend church. We are planning a clean break sometime in the summer.

This clean break you are talking about....we planned on taking a break ourselves, not necessarily a complete break, but we have backed off several times because of the social reasons: wife's family is hardcore, i have three members on my side, kids have very close friends in Church, etc. It is very hard to walk due to social reasons.

[_Sethbag]

I think there is a lack of courage - but it exists within the ward and the stake, particularly the leaders. They lack the courage to grasp the opportunity to discuss the questions that cause people to leave the Church. Until that changes people will continue to flock away, either physically or just in spirit.

If that were to change I think it would in no way help the church. As few people as actually leave do so despite the environment you described. How many would leave if ward or stake leaders actually encouraged honest discovery and discussion of the church's history? I believe that once its history is scrutinized, its epistemology vetted against ways of learning truth that we know actually work, its scriptures are revealed as the fictional productions they are, etc., it becomes obvious that the church isn't true after all.

I think the current environment creates a protective cocoon around many members, preventing them from learning the things that show that the church isn't really true. Sure, some learn it anyhow, but it would be a lot worse if the church were more open about these things.