Shulem wrote:...Keep it up.
wow, if you only had a dime for every time you uttered that phrase in anger.
I understand the grief you must be experiencing over the obvious consequences for the decisions you have made, though they seemed "so right" for how they satisfied your deep desires and how those "decisions" must have finally calmed the primal instinct for your natural man to "survive" - at any cost...to see it all erode against the unstoppable tide of reason and virtue, to watch it crumble under the tremors of logic and righteousness...such grief.
Yes, grief
let us consult Kübler-Ross
1. Denial - obvious by the many posts that simply claim "you must be wrong! i am who i really am"
2. Anger - obvious by the shift to insult and "name-calling", forget the facts, forget the reasons.
3. Bargaining - this will occur as the previous emotions are "rationalized"...as you reconcile how such things could happen.
4. Depression - a solitary awareness that your choices have dire consequences
5. Acceptance - Likely to occur when it is too late...but there is always a chance. the first step is admitting you have a problem.
i would say posts like yours and Buffalot's have you firmly placed at stage 2.
cya around