just me wrote:When we're ready to stop talking about it we will.
That is the right attitude. We talk about what is meaningful to us, and we "get over" things in our own time. I don't understand those who say, "Shut up and move on." Silently pretending that we've put it behind us when we really haven't is, in my view, extremely unhealthy.
Pretending is the name of the game, though. Talking to my TBM mom yesterday I was saying that I can't keep pretending that everything is fine and all that. I learned from church and from my parents to pretend. We pretend we are fine. We pretend we don't have problems within the walls of our homes. We pretend that everything is hunky dory.
Why do Mormons have to pretend? Why aren't we comfortable telling others how unhappy we are or that bad things are happening in our lives?
My mom and I believe that it is getting better, but it is still there. You at least can get women in Relief Society to sometimes talk about their depression, for example. The day a woman feels safe saying that she is being abused is the day I will rejoice.
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden ~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
just me wrote:Pretending is the name of the game, though. Talking to my TBM mom yesterday I was saying that I can't keep pretending that everything is fine and all that. I learned from church and from my parents to pretend. We pretend we are fine. We pretend we don't have problems within the walls of our homes. We pretend that everything is hunky dory.
Why do Mormons have to pretend? Why aren't we comfortable telling others how unhappy we are or that bad things are happening in our lives?
My mom and I believe that it is getting better, but it is still there. You at least can get women in Relief Society to sometimes talk about their depression, for example. The day a woman feels safe saying that she is being abused is the day I will rejoice.
It's not just women. I told myself so often that I was happy because I was keeping the commandments and feeling the spirit that I completely ignored years of major depression. We were taught that doing what we were supposed to do--reading the scriptures, keeping the commandments, attending the temple, feeling the spirit--made you happy. So we did those things, and we told ourselves we were happy because, if we weren't happy, we must not be living right. So, we'd feel some guilt and try harder.
just me wrote: Pretending is the name of the game, though. Talking to my TBM mom yesterday I was saying that I can't keep pretending that everything is fine and all that. I learned from church and from my parents to pretend. We pretend we are fine. We pretend we don't have problems within the walls of our homes. We pretend that everything is hunky dory.
Why do Mormons have to pretend? Why aren't we comfortable telling others how unhappy we are or that bad things are happening in our lives?
My mom and I believe that it is getting better, but it is still there. You at least can get women in Relief Society to sometimes talk about their depression, for example. The day a woman feels safe saying that she is being abused is the day I will rejoice.
There is very much, within the culture of Mormonism, strong pressure to pretend that everything is fine, and not to admit that you have any problems (unless the problem is personal sin).
Parley P. Pratt wrote:We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.
just me wrote:When we're ready to stop talking about it we will.
That is the right attitude. We talk about what is meaningful to us, and we "get over" things in our own time. I don't understand those who say, "Shut up and move on." Silently pretending that we've put it behind us when we really haven't is, in my view, extremely unhealthy.
No it is much healthier to obsess about it and keep going over and over it and posting on boards
mfbukowski wrote:No it is much healthier to obsess about it and keep going over and over it and posting on boards
Good idea
Not a 'close to the spirit' day huh....
Why do you have such a problem with a process that helps people be happier? Is it because yours doesn't work most of the time?
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.” Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!" Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
mfbukowski wrote:It's 80 degrees and a beautiful day
I know Envy is one of the seven deadlies but damn, 80 degrees...
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.” Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!" Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
Quasimodo wrote:You must be in So. Cal. 75 at my house. Blue skies and a breeze off the ocean. Not rubbing it in, of course :).
Dang dude, we've got enough plastic surgeons here- you shouldn't have any trouble finding one- judging by your avatar, you need a little work here and there. ;-)