How do I resign from the church?

[_Blixa]

I've probably related my resignation story here before, but if you didn't see it Paul, I think you'll enjoy it:

I used the sample letter with a few personal adjustments and mailed it to the COB. As you know, the letter is then resent to whoever the local authorities are; in my case people and places I'd never had any contact with. I last attended church well over 30 years ago and across the continent from where I live now.

I got the letter and pamphlet from the COB almost immediately. About a week and a half later, which I thought was quick, I got a letter from "my" Bishop here in Brooklyn. The letter was short and to the point, but also extremely thoughtful. This Bishop simply said that he was sorry the first time we had to meet was under these circumstances, but he completely understood my wishes and had signed off and sent my letter on to the Stake President. He also said that despite any differences we might have, he would be happy to help me out in any way he could in the future and to please email him should the need arise. It was a very sincere, unobtrusive and human message. I was so charmed that I emailed him back to thank him for his professionalism in handling the matter graciously and setting such a good example.

Then things bogged down. About three or four months went by. I called SLC and spoke directly to Greg Dodge. He was extremely pleasant to talk with. He sighed and said sometimes people just don't know how to process the paperwork but he would personally call the Stake President (some guy in Staten Island) and ask him to "step on it."

Then another three months or so went by. I called Mr. Dodge again. He was not happy and very apologetic and said he would really have to "light a fire under that guy." (That's a quote I'll never forget--it was said as though it were the closest thing to actual swearing for him). Apparently the fire was lit because a letter soon followed telling me that it was all done.

A few years ago, I related this story on another board and was pm'd by a fellow poster who wrote:

"Funny you should bring up that Bishop. It's probably **** *******, who was Bish for a while a few years back. He was loved by the ward.

After he was released, he immediately came out as gay, denounced the Church, and moved to *******. Caused quite a stir!"

I did a bit of checking, and yes, that was my Bishop.

So I kind of think of my story as having a double happy ending.

[_Fence Sitter]

A few years ago, I related this story on another board and was pm'd by a fellow poster who wrote:

"Funny you should bring up that Bishop. It's probably **** *******, who was Bish for a while a few years back. He was loved by the ward.

After he was released, he immediately came out as gay, denounced the Church, and moved to *******. Caused quite a stir!"

I did a bit of checking, and yes, that was my Bishop.

So I kind of think of my story as having a double happy ending.

I have never thought of resigning, through there are aspects of the Church that trouble me deeply, the gay issue being one of them. I am to heavily invested in the Church, through my family, to consider the outcome worthwhile. I really don't care if they consider me a member or not but I enjoy the association I have with members, on my terms.

For the most part leaving the Church is like a divorce, there are prices to pay in terms of relationships that go beyond the couple themselves. I do wonder how the immediate family of that bishop was affected by him coming out like that.

[_Blixa]

A few years ago, I related this story on another board and was pm'd by a fellow poster who wrote:

"Funny you should bring up that Bishop. It's probably **** *******, who was Bish for a while a few years back. He was loved by the ward.

After he was released, he immediately came out as gay, denounced the Church, and moved to *******. Caused quite a stir!"

I did a bit of checking, and yes, that was my Bishop.

So I kind of think of my story as having a double happy ending.

I have never thought of resigning, through there are aspects of the Church that trouble me deeply, the gay issue being one of them. I am to heavily invested in the Church, through my family, to consider the outcome worthwhile. I really don't care if they consider me a member or not but I enjoy the association I have with members, on my terms.

For the most part leaving the Church is like a divorce, there are prices to pay in terms of relationships that go beyond the couple themselves. I do wonder how the immediate family of that bishop was affected by him coming out like that.

From what I gathered from his blog, which I looked up after I heard that story, he remained on amicable terms with his family. The pm may have made it sound more nuclear than it was; I imagine that he handled his own resignation with the same candor and feeling that he handled mine.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

Hopefully Mr. Shulem will have an easier time of it than I did. I was in a temp ward in Arizona, and the Bishop who handled my letter was a dick. Fire and brimstone. I told him to “F” off and process my damned resignation letter, or I'd sue the church and name him as a defendant. I retained a lawyer, and had him send the Bishop a letter (cost me $500) because the Bishop wouldn't process my request. Within two weeks I had a notice from corporate that I was out, BUT I also received one last parting shot from the Bishop saying, "because of your decision" I cost myself my family for all eternity.

I sent the letter back to him with a big Screw you, ASSHOLE.

The Mormon church needs more Greg Dodges and less Pahorans.

- VRDRC

[_The Mighty Builder]

For God's sake!! I got on line to check my membership records and they moved my records to another city, assigning me to my x-wife's old address. My x-wife quit going to church and has since moved and remarried, but lo and behold, there I am at her old address.

Although I confessed via email to my last bishop that I am an unrepentent homosexual, he chose to take no action and wished me well.

So, what is the best and painless way to formally exit the church so to officially reduce their membership numbers by 1?

Links or suggestions welcome.

Thanks.

Paul O

Best thing to do is NOT to resign.

By keeping your membership anything you provide about the Mormon Church is as a member. Once you resign (or are excommunicated) you are now just an Apostate, Anti-Mormon, Distractor, Enemy of the Church or in other words Unqualified on all things Mormon.

So keep your membership. It is so much more effective to explain to others the many faults with the Mormon religion and then make yourself an expert on it by stating "oh and by the way I am a Mormon."

[_Themis]

So, what is the best and painless way to formally exit the church so to officially reduce their membership numbers by 1?

What makes you think it will reduce their membership numbers by one?

[_Shulem]

Maybe The Mighty Builder is right and I should just retain my damned membership and not opt out. This reminds me of Star Wars when the execution of Princess Leia was delayed on account that she might be of further use to the Empire.

I'm confused on what to do. But one thing is for sure -- I ain't gonna pray about it! It's my will be done, not God's. It's my life to live, not God's.

Thanks to everyone for your imput. I have some thinking to do.

Paul O
I am a Mormon