What I was told, and what I WISH I were told by Bishops

[_Fiannan]

Well regardless of what my bishop said, real life taught me the truth all too quickly.

If I were agnostic, I'd choose the single life. Marriage is a martyrdom. I suffer it because it's what I believe is right, not because I like it. Being single in the Church is its own form of suffering. I firmly believe that attending singles wards would help motivate people to stay married.

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates

That said there is some truth in the OP. Women, like men, want to feel secure. However, there are other aspects to relationships that can enter into a male looking attractive to a female. For one thing, a man who is intelligent and creative can still land an attractive wife even though he may not have much of an income. A man who has looks can do likewise or a man with tremendous religious convictions. Women will often accept a man based on his brains or looks who is not rich. Come on, most men are not rich yet most men marry. In fact a lot of what one could call freelance polygamists (not affiliated with FLDS for instance) wind up with a bunch of women, often highly educated and attractive. Again, wealth is not essential.

Then again wealth can make an ugly guy look pretty good to a woman and I admit there are a lot of conservative religious women who will marry an agnostic rich dude, or one who may come from a totally different religion. To say otherwise would be to ignore reality. If you are 55 or 60 and work at 7-11 it is doubtful you will be getting married to a hot 24 year old. Then again if you happen to be a 55 or 60 year old artist who thinks way out of the norm you actually will have a greater chance of landing that 24 year old, even though you don't make much more than the 7-11 clerk. In fact I think I have seen more of this happening than the 55 or 60 year old who is wealthy getting the young woman.

[_Bond James Bond]

I'll build you a cross Daheshist. Stop hinting. If you want to be a martyr just say so.

[_Fiannan]

People are dishonest about these things for many reasons,

1) The Church has an agenda to push. Much of what they say is to promote an agenda, not to pass on truthful information
2) Most women can't even be honest with themselves, let alone the other team.

So don't listen to them. I'm sharing because this is how I finally figured it out and I'm at peace now with the whole situation. I hope you find it helpful because no other men shared with me. One of the biggest problems with men is that they don't support each other through stuff like this the way women do.

What you say here is true!

I will note that many men are raised to put a woman on a pedestal and believe the garbage about sugar and spice and everything nice. That can result in a guy judging women harshly when they actually prove to be human or wind up with a chubby asexual whose major goal in life is to follow every rule far beyond what is possible (thus leading to her own development of neurosis).

I'll bet that guy who gave the BYU girl the note about her leggings was one of those guys who expected to go to BYU and find sugar and spice girls. He sees one dressed in what he feels is immodest and he lashes out at her. In his mind she may as well as been naked and watching porn on a laptop because she is violating his image of what purity is. Sad part is he will probably get the woman he is seeking and his life will be one of pure hell.

I have found that if one has a realistic expectation that women are motivated by a lot of forces that are not consistent with a "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet then you will have a state of openness that will allow people to actually see into each other and appreciate the strengths and weaknesses in both.

[_Fiannan]

Video that illustrates that much of what the OP believes actually does occur in human mating:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB1oMfs8 ... ure=relmfu

However, just as money can make an unattractive guy look better, in LDS culture a high level of spirituality can get one a wife (or two depending on how you feel about polygamy). Being a RM is a huge plus in many circles.

[_ajax18]

All very good points Fiannan. I couldn't agree more.

[_Fiannan]

Maybe if someone is having trouble finding a life partner they could always check out Walmart:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... rDIQ-K8mg#!

(evil laugh)

[_RayAgostini]

What I wish I was told:


"Brother Evenson, Mormon women are the SAME as women everywhere. They will date and marry the guy with the most bucks, the one who can buy them the biggest house and the biggest car. The more beautiful a Mormon woman is, the more luxuries she will expect, and she WILL expect them. Don't be surprised if you find Mormon women marrying a rich Gentile man instead of you, because her instinct is to find a male who can build for her the largest nest possible. I don't care if the guy smokes and drinks and curses God with ever drunken nicotine-smelling breath. If he's rich, Mormon women will fall in love with him and wish to mate with him. Woman are like that, like female birds. They're gonna mate with the guy with the best nest. And remember something, Mormon WOMEN "LIE" to men they don't respect. All the time. So, if you are poor, don't be surprised if they lie to you, and laugh while they do it, because that is their nature. They are only truthful to the men they respect. If they don't respect you, they're going to lie to you. And some are going to try to FOOL you, to pretend to like you romantically, but then PULL THE RUG from under you. That is a game some of them play with men they don't respect, whom they consider their "inferiors". And, believe me, if you are poor, they'll consider you an "inferior" whom they can rightfully lie to an "pull the rug" on, and laugh while they do it. Just a warning. It is probably BEST that you seek to get a good education, a good job, an expensive car, at least these things, and the Mormon women will treat you very well, and some will want to marry you. Otherwise, they're not going to respect you, and they'll treat you accordingly."[/b]

So you want a Mormon bishop to tell you this? Maybe it's time to look at your "itching ears" problem, and the fact that most Mormon women probably considered you a creep. From the views you expressed above, and your stereotyping of "Mormon women", I'd caution them to avoid you like the plague.

[_Brackite]

Darrick had Yahoo Bots as Bishops who told him that women are pure and that women are more spiritual than men.

[_Daheshist]

Ray,

Yes, I want Mormon bishops to tell me the TRUTH. What they told me was...

"Mormon women never lie."

"Mormon women would never DATE much less marry, a man who was mortally unworthy."

"Mormon women have the Spirit and can tell by the Spirit if a man is living the Gospel or not."

I found, with 30 years of observing single Mormons, these bishops were FOOLS and everything they told me was a LIE.....

Mormon women did avoid me like the plague, because I was poor. They rushed to mate with men like my roommate, who thought that if a little girl had "hair down there" they were old enough for sex, and he would be "doing them a favor" by initiating them. I think the Mormon women were fools, and got what they deserved. The Mormon women were liars, and, coincidentally, they got "fooled" by a liar (my roommate). Kind of poetic isn't it?

Actually, the most spiritual Mormon women liked me a LOT, but, unfortunately, they almost always were FAT. It's really true......a "sweet spirit" is usually also fat. I suppose if I were truly spiritual, their bodies would not matter. But, I was not THAT spiritual.

What I wish I was told:


"Brother Evenson, Mormon women are the SAME as women everywhere. They will date and marry the guy with the most bucks, the one who can buy them the biggest house and the biggest car. The more beautiful a Mormon woman is, the more luxuries she will expect, and she WILL expect them. Don't be surprised if you find Mormon women marrying a rich Gentile man instead of you, because her instinct is to find a male who can build for her the largest nest possible. I don't care if the guy smokes and drinks and curses God with ever drunken nicotine-smelling breath. If he's rich, Mormon women will fall in love with him and wish to mate with him. Woman are like that, like female birds. They're gonna mate with the guy with the best nest. And remember something, Mormon WOMEN "LIE" to men they don't respect. All the time. So, if you are poor, don't be surprised if they lie to you, and laugh while they do it, because that is their nature. They are only truthful to the men they respect. If they don't respect you, they're going to lie to you. And some are going to try to FOOL you, to pretend to like you romantically, but then PULL THE RUG from under you. That is a game some of them play with men they don't respect, whom they consider their "inferiors". And, believe me, if you are poor, they'll consider you an "inferior" whom they can rightfully lie to an "pull the rug" on, and laugh while they do it. Just a warning. It is probably BEST that you seek to get a good education, a good job, an expensive car, at least these things, and the Mormon women will treat you very well, and some will want to marry you. Otherwise, they're not going to respect you, and they'll treat you accordingly."[/b]

So you want a Mormon bishop to tell you this? Maybe it's time to look at your "itching ears" problem, and the fact that most Mormon women probably considered you a creep. From the views you expressed above, and your stereotyping of "Mormon women", I'd caution them to avoid you like the plague.

[_RayAgostini]

Actually, the most spiritual Mormon women liked me a LOT, but, unfortunately, they almost always were FAT. It's really true......a "sweet spirit" is usually also fat. I suppose if I were truly spiritual, their bodies would not matter. But, I was not THAT spiritual.

So you want a "Mormon woman" who looks physically like Bo Derek, and the "fat ones" are not good enough for you, no matter how pure and benign and loving they may be in spirit? They aren't worthy of you until they get rid of the fat?

Let me see what you want - a slim, physically sexy Mormon woman who is also spiritual. Must be perfect in body and spirit, to match Darrick, who is - equally physically sexy? Yes, Darrick, you're not asking for much, are you? Have you ever considered that you might be sexist?