T-Dog Monson: I been helpin' out widows before I could even walk, bitches!
Deets Uchtdorf: *insert piloting parable here*
'Enry Eyring: *blubber blubber sob sob*
There, I just saved you 8 hours.
My predictions for first presidency talks next week
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_Buffalo
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My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Last edited by Guest on Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Parley P. Pratt wrote:We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.
B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.
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_harmony
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Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Talks in conference:
1. Tithing
2. Pornography
3. Tithing
4. Trust us
5. Tithing
6. It's all the women's fault
7. Tithing
8. We never said that
9. Tithing
There will be no detailed annual report of how the tithes are used, there will be no policy changes, there will be no further light and knowledge given. There will be chastisement, there will be demands, and there will be nothing new.
Same ol', same ol'.
*yawn*
1. Tithing
2. Pornography
3. Tithing
4. Trust us
5. Tithing
6. It's all the women's fault
7. Tithing
8. We never said that
9. Tithing
There will be no detailed annual report of how the tithes are used, there will be no policy changes, there will be no further light and knowledge given. There will be chastisement, there will be demands, and there will be nothing new.
Same ol', same ol'.
*yawn*
(Nevo, Jan 23) And the Melchizedek Priesthood may not have been restored until the summer of 1830, several months after the organization of the Church.
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_DarkHelmet
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Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
The GC talks are extremely vanilla and mainstream. Sometimes I wish it was like the Brigham Young days where he would call people on the carpet. The talks will cover such engrossing topics as Faith in Jesus, gaining a true testimony, charity, the evils of pornography, missionary work. They will slip in a few comments about paying tithing and obeying the leaders.
"We have taken up arms in defense of our liberty, our property, our wives, and our children; we are determined to preserve them, or die."
- Captain Moroni - 'Address to the Inhabitants of Canada' 1775
- Captain Moroni - 'Address to the Inhabitants of Canada' 1775
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_Drifting
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Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
"Arthur Patton's alive!"
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.”
Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!"
Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!"
Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
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_Fence Sitter
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Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
We should do an over/under pool on how many times the Book of Abraham will be mentioned.
I have dibs on the zero square.
I have dibs on the zero square.
"Any over-ritualized religion since the dawn of time can make its priests say yes, we know, it is rotten, and hard luck, but just do as we say, keep at the ritual, stick it out, give us your money and you'll end up with the angels in heaven for evermore."
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_Drifting
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Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
"Good morning Brothers & Sisters. I'd like to take a few moments to talk through the highlights of the financial accounts that will be published immediately following Conference..."
"Good morning Brothers & Sisters. Our first speaker will be Elder Smith and he will be followed his husband Elder Smith."
"Good morning Brothers & Sisters. Our first speaker will be Elder Smith and he will be followed his husband Elder Smith."
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.”
Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!"
Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!"
Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
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_Drifting
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Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
"Dear Brothers & Sisters. Following a year of unmitigated mistakes and disasters I am hereby resigning as Prophet. All who wish to join with me in thanking me for my service in this calling please show by the Masonic sign of the third degree...erm...by the uplifted right arm."
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.”
Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!"
Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!"
Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
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_just me
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Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Drifting wrote:"Arthur Patton's alive!"
I legit LOL'd
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
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_bcspace
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Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
The interesting thing about this is that some of you will be eagerly watching it anyway.
Machina Sublime
Satan's Plan Deconstructed.
Your Best Resource On Joseph Smith's Polygamy.
Conservatism is the Gospel of Christ and the Plan of Salvation in Action.
The Degeneracy Of Progressivism.
Satan's Plan Deconstructed.
Your Best Resource On Joseph Smith's Polygamy.
Conservatism is the Gospel of Christ and the Plan of Salvation in Action.
The Degeneracy Of Progressivism.
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_Fence Sitter
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Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
I'll be watching. Especially Elder Packer. It's like a train wreck waiting to happen.
My wife recorded the last few conferences. I bet I can cue a recorded one up, without her knowing, and she will not notice.
My wife recorded the last few conferences. I bet I can cue a recorded one up, without her knowing, and she will not notice.
"Any over-ritualized religion since the dawn of time can make its priests say yes, we know, it is rotten, and hard luck, but just do as we say, keep at the ritual, stick it out, give us your money and you'll end up with the angels in heaven for evermore."