Never-Mo commentary on Ex-Mo culture.

[_Bond James Bond]

I think the oddity of exmos rebelling in their middle age is hard to understand to nevermos who get their rebellion finished in their teenage years. Funny to hear about exmos in their forties talk about drinking for the first time.

Also it's odd to hear so much talk about church, church meetings, and church politics. To the nevermo one hour is plenty of church but to the exmo one hour puts you somewhere around apostate. That's weird. In addition all the talk about church politics between positions and holding positions in the church is weird to this nevermo. There was the preacher a few deacons (who passed the plate) and the organist/pianist and that was it. A lot more bureaucracy among the Mormons.

[_MCB]

As I researched Mormonism, I shed aspects of LDS belief and culture that had seeped into my life, and became more Catholic, and closer to God.

My writing project is directed at exMormons who may doubt their decision at times. It hopefully would move them away from their agnosticism/atheism, reinforce positive aspects of LDS culture, and reduce anti-Catholic sentiment. What better way is there to rebel against Mormonism than by becoming Catholic? Ultimately, it is a textbook for RCIA, but can be used for other purposes.

Some evangelical Christianity is almost as unhealthy as Mormonism. I make the same point in my first chapter.

I doubt that any TBM would touch it with a ten-foot pole. The only exception would be to skim selected chapters and write a scathing review.

[_Buffalo]

One of the reason why I feel so distant with the Ex-Mormon community is the actual pressing need for popular podcasts to do shows on the basics of sexual intimacy and alcohol consumption like a middle school health class.


That. Is. Radical. Other.


What about the rest of my fellow Never-Mo types?

Since I was inactive (but believing) for several years, I don't need the middle school sex lectures either. It's pretty sad that faithful Mormons don't learn anything about sex, though.

[_honorentheos]

Not a never-mo, so my thoughts don't really address the OP. But I've reflected abit on how or when I probably fit the description Stak gave to some degree or other.

I know that alcohol was a new experience for me, and something that took acclimating to, both in terms of understanding my personal taste as well as feeling out the proper etiquette. I think there is always going to be some form of experimentation and cultural "groping". I can see why this would be very strange for guys like Stak or ladies like MCB and Blixa who went through the American Norm of experimentation and finding one's boundaries. That said, I think people transitioning away from LDS culture and into more mainstream culture shouldn't be ashamed of this phase. It is what it is. I don't think we gain much by denying that this is a necessary transitioning if one chooses to drink as an adult.

That said, I also feel something similar to what Stak describes when the talk turns to alcohol or sex. Sometimes I wonder why we feel the need to shed our adulthood when we leave the church? Is it so wrong to accept that the church wasn't true, that we were lied to through much of the most important secondary developmental periods of our lives, maybe come to terms with the fact we never will get to be wild college freshmen as EA described, yet be comfortable with being grown adults? Because I don't think never-mos have any better claim to being the adults in the room. In fact, if going to bars with friends and coworkers has taught me anything, it's that most never mo's are a good decade behind most traditional LDS in transitioning into adulthood in general. Plenty of 30-somethings wearing the same clothes as their frat brothers just pledging, girls wearing the same clothes as the freshmen sorority pledges. In that regard, I wonder if there isn't a cultural problem with growing up in general, and leaving the LDS church while trying to enter mainstream American culture leaves a person feeling both immature and out of sync for competing reasons?

[_Hoops]

My writing project

Is this available yet?

What better way is there to rebel against Mormonism than by becoming Catholic?

by becoming a Southern Baptist?

Some evangelical Christianity is almost as unhealthy as Mormonism. I make the same point in my first chapter.

True dat.

I doubt that any TBM would touch it with a ten-foot pole.

Brigham Kowalski. He played at BYU, obviously. They still stiffed it at the tournament.

[_MCB]

I'm waiting on Mike Quinn's books on Mormon Hierarchy.

[_Hoops]

I'm waiting on Mike Quinn's books on Mormon Hierarchy.

Keep us up to date, if you don't mind.

[_MCB]

I hesitate to do so too much, because of the TBM harassment. As I said before, it is not aimed at de-converting them.

[_Hoops]

I hesitate to do so too much, because of the TBM harassment. As I said before, it is not aimed at de-converting them.

Understood. I'm always interested in what you have to say. That's all I'm sayin'.

[_cafe crema]

I found three things about "ex-Mormon culture" hard to understand. The first was the need to explain yourself, so many sites have "stickies" with letters written to family, friends, fellow ward members and even acquaintances. While I can see addressing family, I can't see why it's so important to explain your thoughts, feelings and actions to the rest of them. Letters are put up as examples, cautionary tales, others are put up for review or criticism. I just don't get it.

The second was about temple rituals and what was found disturbing about them. I know we can't talk about them on this forum but I'll try alluding to them..... I find "I promise, cross my heart hope to die, stick a needle in my eye" less disturbing than playing group "doctor".

And last is the alcohol thing, ex-Mormons seem to obsess over it just as they do with the letters and explanations they give to family members. Again it's something I just don't get.