How I hate faith promoting stories

[_Yoda]

The main difference being that exit stories describe the consequences of finding or acknowledging objective truth, while Mormon miracle stories represent misunderstanding of, or imaginations wholly devoid of, objective truth.

This. Once the rose colored glasses come off, you're only left with reality. Mormonism is "magical", and that's a lot of the trickery they use to get you sucked in. Magical thinking. But like snake oil, in the end it doesn't do anything more than make you sick.

Infy's term, "rose colored glasses", reminded me of my post here, entitled, "Mormonism and the Matrix":


Any of you who have frequented RfM are probably familiar with the poster, Brian-the-Christ. He has a wicked sense of humor. We used to email back and forth on occasion. When I was cleaning out my desk the other day, I found this little gem that he wrote several years ago. He gave me his permission a while ago to print it as long as I gave him credit for authorship, so I don't think there will be a problem with posting it here.

It's definitely good for a chuckle. It also gives you a scary cause to think:

(I've taken the liberty of personalizing it a bit to apply to Shades' board. Enjoy!)

Dr. Shades: Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain. But you feel it. You've felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the Church. You don't know what it is but it's there, like a splinter in your mind driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to MormonDiscussions.com. Do you know what I'm talking about?

MDPoster: Mormonism's Indoctrination?

Dr. Shades: Do you want to know what it is? Mormonism's indoctrination is everywhere. It is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

MDPoster: What truth?

Dr. Shades: That you are a slave, MDPoster. Like everyone else BIC you were born into bondage, born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for your mind. Unfortunately, no one can be told what Mormonism's Indoctrination is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You listen to the apologetics of FAIR/MAD, I'll call it "the blue pill," the story ends, you wake up in your dream and believe whatever you want to believe. You listen to the stories on MormonDiscussions.com, I'll call that taking "the red pill," you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I'm offering is the truth, nothing more. Follow me. Keene, are we online?

[_DarkHelmet]

When I was a kid there was a guy in our ward who used to relate a "miracle" story every fast and testimony meeting. My all-time favorite was about the time he was on a family vacation and fell asleep at the wheel. He drove his car off of a cliff, but thanks to the hand of god, the car landed on a palm tree that gently bent down and lowered the car to the ground so they could continue on their journey. He had another one about his kid crawling out of a four story window, landing on his head, but being O.K.. Since the kid (then an adult) was a little weird, nobody really questioned the story.

I do miss the days of making up a good Three Nephites faith promoting story though.

Although that car story is ridiculous and I'm sure it caused a lot of eye rolling, I wonder what people who weren't so lucky think. When I was younger, there was a lady in the ward who fell asleep at the wheel, crashed and died. She left behind a lot of young children and a grieving husband. I always wonder, when someone talks about being saved by the grace of god, how that makes others feel who didn't have the same divine intervention.

[_Tator]

One of my favorites is when a 4 or 5 year old boy stood in F&T Marjorie Taylor-Greene and told how he believes in the power of prayer. The boy was sent out to find their small herd of sheep and he could not find them. He went and got his mother and together they couldn't find them. So his mother suggested that they get on their knees and pray for help in finding the sheep. The little boy stated that the prayers worked because right after they got off their knees they found the "little sons-a-bitches" behind the haystack.

[_Sethbag]

One of my favorites is when people use accounts of sleep paralysis as faith promoting stories. Telling stories about how they woke up in the middle of the night and the devil was choking them. Having experienced sleep paralysis myself I can see how someone might attribute it to the supernatural if they weren't aware that it is a commonly experienced event.

I'm one of those who thought my sleep paralysis experiences were attempts by the devil to get me. To me, they served as confirmation of the supernatural, and also of the LDS teachings regarding the devil and spirits and whatnot.

[_Buffalo]

One of my favorites is when people use accounts of sleep paralysis as faith promoting stories. Telling stories about how they woke up in the middle of the night and the devil was choking them. Having experienced sleep paralysis myself I can see how someone might attribute it to the supernatural if they weren't aware that it is a commonly experienced event.

I'm one of those who thought my sleep paralysis experiences were attempts by the devil to get me. To me, they served as confirmation of the supernatural, and also of the LDS teachings regarding the devil and spirits and whatnot.

I heard several similar stories from missionaries. I had never heard of sleep paralysis, so I just thought Satan was really out to get the missionaries.