Message to Women: Cover-up or it's your fault if men leer

[_just me]

One of my math profs was delighted by 'straight' lines.

I prefer straight lines in curved spaces. Just my warped view of the universe--or warped mind as the case my be.

No, no. I mean he would be like "It's a straight line, hehe (lift eyebrow) as opposed to..." what a gay line? Whatever the other kind of line is. I think it was a trig class.

Please tell me you don't do that.

[_asbestosman]

Please tell me you don't do that.

Sadly I also make bad jokes (as you can see in this thread). Fortunately, I think jokes that bad are beyond my capacity. At least I hope so.

[_MsJack]

Let me tell you of an embarrassing experience I had when I was your age and a student at Brigham Young University. I was wearing a tight turtle neck similar to most of the turtle necks and tight shirts I see you young women wearing. I'd gone into the 7-Eleven store to buy something to eat when I heard two sleazy boys make some extremely vulgar comments about me. The way we dress does send a message, and I sent a message I didn't intend to boys I didn't have any desire to date, much less associate with. I felt violated by their comments; I felt dirty and cheap. Inside I just wanted to say, "I'm not that kind of a girl." But the top I was wearing didn't reflect that. I never wore that top or anything tight like it again. I want to warn you, many of you are sending the wrong message about who you are by the tight tops you wear.

I did a couple of mission trips to Mexico when I was 16, 18 and 19. On the third and final trip, I had a Mexican guy proposition me one night when I was walking back to the condo where we were staying. This was the dress I was wearing. It was not at all tight or form-fitting, it had sleeves that came to the middle of my upper arm, and the hem came all the way to my ankles.

Certain types of clothing will definitely increase the likelihood that men will view a woman in a lewd manner, but just because a man has viewed a woman in a lewd manner doesn't mean she was dressed provocatively. I find it pretty sad that Ms. Bednar's first course of action was to blame herself instead of the two young men, but I've come to expect as much from LDS leaders. I hear far too much talk of covering the women up and barely any talk of telling men to take responsibility for their own thoughts.

Some of the tops you wear show every bump and every curve on your breast. They fit you like a wet swimming suit with no padding, and they are showing every bit as much.

Wow! Did Sister Bednar actually say this?

This made me do a double-take, too. I had to click on the link and check the talk myself.

God help the YW leader who ever says anything like this to my daughter.

[_RayAgostini]

A modest dressed woman is more appealing. It leaves more to the imagination. But to dress sexually or in an enticing way, can cause thoughts inside the man that he should not have if he is religious. It is just in dna of the natural man.

Just wondering, what happens in situations like this:

April Steiner Bennett (LDS, and currently ranked 7th in the US)



You Tube:April Steiner-Bennett Photoshoot with ASICS.

Personally, I see a superb athlete first, a nice body second. Oh, she's married, by the way.

[_asbestosman]

I'm guessing you were a hot number.

Or a prime number.

I was 17 years old...and I think he was about 50. AWKWARD!

Sounds like he was an irrational number.

[_Runtu]

I hear far too much talk of covering the women up and barely any talk of telling men to take responsibility for their own thoughts.

That's because they're too busy telling men to stop looking at porn and playing with their little factories. Obviously, if women are at all attractive to men, it's just driving these good priesthood holders to watch porn and wank.

This made me do a double-take, too. I had to click on the link and check the talk myself.

God help the YW leader who ever says anything like this to my daughter.

The weird thing for me is that, when I was a believer, I wouldn't have thought anything of Sister Bednar's talk. I would have thought that she must know more than I do because she thinks it's important enough to talk about.

One of the things that really struck me after I left is just how crazy-obsessed the church is about anything remotely sexual. I'm convinced that half of their "problems" with sexual sin are a result of this obsession.

[Guest]

Was this at BYU?

Was he already married?

A friend of mine from grad school at BYU told me her thesis advisor told her he wouldn't approve her thesis unless she slept with him. When she reported this to the administration, they blew her off and suggested she get a new advisor.

A couple of years later, this professor was on a Fulbright in Europe, but his family stayed behind. When his wife and BYU learned that he had a 22-year-old student living with him, they called my friend to ask her to provide testimony about his advances. She told them to kindly go f*** themselves.

I suppose I can understand why she would be angry with them and not want to help them now that they were more inclined to believe her earlier allegations against the guy. But by testifying about what had happened to her, she could have helped make sure he got what was due him. If I had been in her shoes I think I might have plugged my nose and gone and told my story, and then on my way out give them a piece of my mind about not believing me in the first place.

[_why me]

Really? He didn't know where to look? Generally you look into their eyes when you speak to them(unless you have aspergers). When she reaches down to get her pencil, you can look wherever you want, or you could offer to get the pencil for her if you are near it. Sounds like your professor was as socially awkward around women as you are.

Nice try. Of course he would look into her eyes. But the mind was also saying look downward. Now of course if she dropped her pencil he couldn't look downward because the class was watching. He felt uncomfortable in this situation. And the student should have dressed modestly.

[_DarkHelmet]

I find it pretty sad that Ms. Bednar's first course of action was to blame herself instead of the two young men,

I did a double take when I read that. Even from an LDS woman that is crazy talk. Two guys act like pigs around her and her first thought was "It must be this slutty turtleneck." What could have conditioned her to blame herself when men victimize her?

[_Runtu]

I suppose I can understand why she would be angry with them and not want to help them now that they were more inclined to believe her earlier allegations against the guy. But by testifying about what had happened to her, she could have helped make sure he got what was due him. If I had been in her shoes I think I might have plugged my nose and gone and told my story, and then on my way out give them a piece of my mind about not believing me in the first place.

They fired him without her help, as she thought they would.