Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

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_Carton
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _Carton »

One other thing that occurs to me is that this couple must have horrible communication with one another. Didn't they talk about these things before they got married? It was the second marriage for both.

After my wife and I got engaged, we immediately started talking about sex. (I think that was why we ended up moving up our wedding date two or three times. We got engaged over the holidays and set a June wedding date, but ended up getting married in mid-February. :lol:) Anyway, I remember specifically asking her if she had any problems with sex, specifically with oral sex. She said she'd never really thought about it in such details, but as we talked about it, we both decided we would not have any preconceived notions about anything and would "work it out".

So, after our temple wedding (Salt Lake Temple) we went to the wedding breakfast, and then went to our car in the covered parking lot nearby. No sooner had we got in the car than I reached over and put my hand down her blouse and felt her breasts. Within a couple minutes we'd both touched all the "private parts" and decided we would check in to our hotel room early. But no one had told either of us anything (we were both virgins). WE didn't know anything about "personal lubricants" and so, to make a long story short, the car was too big for the garage! Couldn't get it in without it hurting, so we gave up on that approach for the time being and I "went down" on her and tried to figure out what I was doing (not very successfully, I might add, but it was fun trying). Then she did the same for me. Of course, the cork popped in about 30 seconds and 21+ years worth of manufacturing back up in my "little factory" exploded and my poor innocent bride gagged and almost threw up! I was absolutely mortified! Man, I felt so bad. But we ended up laughing it off. We talked about it with each other, and it ended up being a comical event rather than a damaging one. We eventually discovered KY jelly, and also, with the help of a few DIY books, we figured out the other stuff too. But the key to all of it was COMMUNICATION! I continue to believe that is the biggest problem in other marriages. Couples just don't talk with each other with honesty and open-minded love for each other.
"I do not want you to think that I am very righteous, for I am not."
Joseph Smith (History of the Church 5:401)
_3sheets2thewind
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _3sheets2thewind »

Speaking of communication, I found out 12 hours before my wedding that oral was dirty and a no no. This was disappointing a bit because I had spent the past week drinking a mixture of fruit juices and not eating so that in the event of an unintended burst in the pipes during oral she would not be grossed out by the typical twas of things
There is a LDS couple in Az which created a powder that the man ingests. This powder makes man juice taste like bananah and some other fruit. You take the powder, clear the pipes, and the next round some hours later is to have a nice fruity taste.
_3sheets2thewind
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _3sheets2thewind »

For proof positive of sexual dysfunction among LDS peoples see MDDB and any thread where any type of sexual act is mentioned.
_Carton
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _Carton »

3sheets2thewind wrote:For proof positive of sexual dysfunction among LDS peoples see MDDB and any thread where any type of sexual act is mentioned.

Yeah, I've read some pretty shocking things there. But I do still wonder how common it is. I guess that's why I started this thread. I think that if it is more of a problem in LDS marriages than it is in the general population, then it would be a fairly easy problem to address in principle, if not immediately in action. Have someone authoritatively say that, at least generally speaking, there isn't anything a married couple does sexually that is intrinsically impure or unholy, except we make it so. So let couples know that it is up to them to decide what is "impure" or "unholy" for themselves. Don't provide any list of can's or cannot's, and absolutely forbid leaders on all levels from offering their opinions to members as to what you should or should not do in the context of marital intimacy.

I'll bet that would have more immediate effect and go further to strengthen marriages in the church than going to the temple one extra time each month.
"I do not want you to think that I am very righteous, for I am not."
Joseph Smith (History of the Church 5:401)
_Buffalo
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _Buffalo »

Carton wrote:
I'll bet that would have more immediate effect and go further to strengthen marriages in the church than going to the temple one extra time each month.


I think the church is more interested in strengthening couples' relationship to the church than to each other.
Parley P. Pratt wrote:We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.
_Carton
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _Carton »

Buffalo wrote:
Carton wrote:
I'll bet that would have more immediate effect and go further to strengthen marriages in the church than going to the temple one extra time each month.


I think the church is more interested in strengthening couples' relationship to the church than to each other.

Do you really believe this, or are you just being sarcastic?

Because I'm not sure I understand how sexually dysfunctional, potentially divorced couples serves the church's purposes either way. Regardless of how strong their relationship is to the church.
"I do not want you to think that I am very righteous, for I am not."
Joseph Smith (History of the Church 5:401)
_Carton
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _Carton »

Can you just imagine the PR bonanza?

"I'm a Mormon, and 69's ok!"
"I do not want you to think that I am very righteous, for I am not."
Joseph Smith (History of the Church 5:401)
_just me
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _just me »

Best.Thread.EVAH!
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
_Buffalo
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _Buffalo »

Carton wrote:Do you really believe this, or are you just being sarcastic?

Because I'm not sure I understand how sexually dysfunctional, potentially divorced couples serves the church's purposes either way. Regardless of how strong their relationship is to the church.


A little of both. I think they place relationship with the church in MUCH, MUCH higher regard. Of course they want couples to have a good relationship, but they don't seem to think it's a priority. Certainly less of a priority than the relationship with the church.
Parley P. Pratt wrote:We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.
_SteelHead
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Re: Sexual Dysfunction in Mormon Marriages

Post by _SteelHead »

Buffalo wrote:
Carton wrote:Do you really believe this, or are you just being sarcastic?

Because I'm not sure I understand how sexually dysfunctional, potentially divorced couples serves the church's purposes either way. Regardless of how strong their relationship is to the church.


A little of both. I think they place relationship with the church in MUCH, MUCH higher regard. Of course they want couples to have a good relationship, but they don't seem to think it's a priority. Certainly less of a priority than the relationship with the church.


Look at the church's past teachings and actions. Mark E Mark Peterson boasting he has never seen his wife naked. Teachings that couples should refrain from sex when not trying to conceive, so as to overcome the natural man. Teaching that non procreative sex is unnatural, impure and unholy. Teaching that wives should leave husbands that loose faith.

Which is more evident; that the church really wants couples to be loyal to the church, or each other?

The more recent chi advice is better but there are years of cultural baggage to overcome. Apostles used to brag how if a higher leader asked them for their wives, they would turn them over. And the old guys with 20 Wifes complain about the young guys not giving them first pick of the recent emigrants.

Loyalty between husbands and wives..... Hah. Ask Emma about that.
Last edited by Guest on Mon May 07, 2012 11:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Some of us, on the other hand, actually prefer a religion that includes some type of correlation with reality.
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