I know Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a true book.

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_DarkHelmet
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I know Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a true book.

Post by _DarkHelmet »

From the Amazon description:

While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation..


I don't know what happened to the secret journal. Maybe the Vampires took it back to the underworld with them. Since a testimony comes from the bearing of it, you just need to bear our testimony once a month that this book is true, and eventually you will believe that not only did Nephites and Lamanites once roam this land, but so did vampires, and Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter.
"We have taken up arms in defense of our liberty, our property, our wives, and our children; we are determined to preserve them, or die."
- Captain Moroni - 'Address to the Inhabitants of Canada' 1775
_Buffalo
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Re: I know Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a true book.

Post by _Buffalo »

And now of this thing Lincoln bore record; but because of wickedness it is not had among the children of men.
Parley P. Pratt wrote:We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.
_Darth J
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Re: I know Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a true book.

Post by _Darth J »

There's no completely definitive proof either for or against the historical accuracy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. And I think that's right where things are supposed to be. It requires us to use faith to fill in the gaps. If we knew for sure that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was a true story, we wouldn't have free agency.
_Buffalo
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Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:33 pm

Re: I know Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a true book.

Post by _Buffalo »

Darth J wrote:There's no completely definitive proof either for or against the historical accuracy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. And I think that's right where things are supposed to be. It requires us to use faith to fill in the gaps. If we knew for sure that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was a true story, we wouldn't have free agency.


You say honey is sweet, and so do I. I can also taste the spirit of eternal life; I know it is good. This doctrine tastes good!
Parley P. Pratt wrote:We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.
_sock puppet
_Emeritus
Posts: 17063
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:52 pm

Re: I know Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a true book.

Post by _sock puppet »

DarkHelmet wrote:From the Amazon description:

While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation..


I don't know what happened to the secret journal. Maybe the Vampires took it back to the underworld with them. Since a testimony comes from the bearing of it, you just need to bear our testimony once a month that this book is true, and eventually you will believe that not only did Nephites and Lamanites once roam this land, but so did vampires, and Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter.

and DarkHelmet, I can testify to the truthfulness of this:
The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
_SteelHead
_Emeritus
Posts: 8261
Joined: Tue May 17, 2011 1:40 am

Re: I know Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a true book.

Post by _SteelHead »

And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which I give of him: That he (Abraham Lincoln) was a vampire hunter!
It is better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener at war.

Some of us, on the other hand, actually prefer a religion that includes some type of correlation with reality.
~Bill Hamblin
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