Which Scenario is More Unfavorable or Favorable and Why?

[_Shulem]

Neither and both. And it's different if one is a convert, both are converts, or both are BIC. and it matters where they live, how deeply imbedded into their ward/stake they are, and who they work for.

Harmony, I've learned some lessons in life that I would employ from this point on. To thine own self be true (quote from something?). It's a matter of being true to oneself and being honest to one's own core. Living a lie is just too much. I did that for a long time and it's sickening. No more lies. I just bask in the truth and enjoy life to the fullest. No church, spouse, or family is worth living a lie. Be true and let the chips fall where they will. That's my thinking. Family members will have to decide how they want to deal with truth chips.

Paul O

[_DrW]

The most favored scenario is that one spouse figures out what Joseph Smith was, what he really did, what that means for the truth claims of the LDS Church, and lets the other partner know what has been found.

The other partner then has the curiosity to also look at the evidence, the judgement to determine what it means and the integrity to act on the new found knowledge. They both leave the Church, and as was described in the Salon.com article, both live lives that are richer, fuller and more honest, authentic and human than would have ever be possible as TBMs.

Well, you asked.

[_Yoda]

I guess I was curious what people thought of the two scenarios because it seems like on the Internet boards I have been active on, the couple that decides to both leave seems to be the most respected. The couple where they both stay seems to be more frowned upon. I was just curious as to why that seems to be the case.

ETA--I understand why those who have left would find the scenario of them both leaving preferred, but I have also spoken with members who have said things like, "the person who is staying and simply faking it should leave the Church. They are being hypocritical.."

[_Shulem]

They are being hypocritical.."

From what I gather from Christian teachings about Jesus is he disliked hypocrites more than anything. Living the life of a hypocrite is extremely unhealthy and unatural. It's like eating processed foods and drinking soda with every meal. It's just not good.

Paul O

[_DrW]

I guess I was curious what people thought of the two scenarios because it seems like on the Internet boards I have been active on, the couple that decides to both leave seems to be the most respected. The couple where they both stay seems to be more frowned upon. I was just curious as to why that seems to be the case.

ETA--I understand why those who have left would find the scenario of them both leaving preferred, but I have also spoken with members who have said things like, "the person who is staying and simply faking it should leave the Church. They are being hypocritical.."

From my above post you can probably tell that I would heartily agree with the latter statement.

My wife has graduated to full NOM status, but still attends (one or two block meetings most weeks - she can't take all three any more) so that the kids don't feel that both of their parents have completely abandoned the Church. In fact, both have mentally left and will certainly not be coming back.

I haven't attended in years and the longer I am away, the happier I am.

[_MCB]

The most favorable scenario would be taking the route that is most likely to save the marriage.

[_Shulem]

The most favorable scenario would be taking the route that is most likely to save the marriage.

I think saving oneself is the most important thing anyone can do. Period.

I am my own savior. I am my own god. I save myself. Oh yes, thank you. Bow.

Paul O

[_MCB]

I think saving oneself is the most important thing anyone can do. Period.

I am my own savior. I am my own god. I save myself. Oh yes, thank you. Bow.

Paul O

That, too. If one partner is absolutely unbending, then exit from relationship becomes the only alternative. Which I did.

[_sock puppet]

I'll bite. I pick scene one. First of all, the wife is headed for a real good time in a new life once she is free from the church. The husband is headed for a good time because after a while his testimony will start to fade and when he experiences new things without all those damn Mormon restrictions he will be able to breathe freely and enjoy the freshness of a new life. * * * * *

Paul O

I agree with Paul O. The TBM spouse's testimony will wane. Without the weekly spoon-feeding of Correlation, the spouse will begin to examine for himself aspects of life that LDS taught him were bad, wrong, etc. As he experiences them, he'll realize that most of the LDS taboos were misplaced. Soon, he will be informed by his own experiences, not refraining just because it was part of the LDS bugaboo complex drilled into him over and over.

Just think about it. Is Jesus such a megalomania narcissist that for obedience proving sake, he would keep good people out of heaven because they drank coffee in the mornings as pick-me-up? Why paint Jesus out to be a Joseph Stalin?

[_harmony]

The most favorable scenario would be taking the route that is most likely to save the marriage.

I think saving oneself is the most important thing anyone can do. Period.

I am my own savior. I am my own god. I save myself. Oh yes, thank you. Bow.

Paul O

The love of selfish above all, huh, Paul?

I'm not built that way.