CONFUSED: Gay, active LDS, married with three kids.. WTF?

[_Polygamy-Porter]

He says he realized he was gay and sexually attracted to men since his early teens.

Told this to his current wife when she was only 16.

They later married after he served a Mormon mission.

He says he enjoys sex with his wife. They have three girls together.

He says he is still sexually attracted to men.

He says he is doing this because of his loyalty to LDS theology.

http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-un ... ut-of.html

Talk about a mindfuck by LDS INC.

How can he be gay if you enjoys vaginal sex with a woman, and has never had anal sex with a man??

Paging Paul O....

[_Lucretia MacEvil]

OMG, I read the whole thing. And I have a lot of opinions about it for what they are worth. I don't know anything about being gay, but I just may know a thing or two more about sex than these two young people ... simply because I'm much older and more experienced (my screen name is a complete fraud, by the way; I'm repressed compared to other women I know). Anyway, I hope these two are happy together for the rest of their lives. It could happen. Lots of stuff could happen to change that, however. Life happens.

I was under the impression that the church is no longer counseling young men with SSA to just marry a nice girl and everything will be fine. Hopefully so. How many such marriages have ended in sorrow? I know of a few, actually. I can't help but doubt that this couple are really as emotionally healthy and well-adjusted as they feel themselves to be. Hell, nobody is. They seem to be trying a little too hard. If this marriage lasts a lifetime, it may be because their dysfunctions are able to harmonize, not because they are more spiritual or commited or loving or whatever than those who try to do this and fail.

I just hope this story doesn't encourage other earnest gay young people to marry the opposite sex, counting on youthful spiritual idealism to make it work. Sex is full of gray areas and it is very powerful. I wish this beautiful little family success, but I don't think it's right for them to put themselves out as an example to other Mormons. There is just something wrong about it, IMHO.

[_zeezrom]

Hmmm.

we weren’t distracted by the powerful chemicals of infatuation and obsession that usually bring a couple together (which dwindle dramatically after the first few years of marriage anyway). So, in a weird way, the circumstances of our marriage allowed us to build a sexual relationship that is based on everything partners should want in their sex-life: intimacy, communication, genuine love and affection. This has resulted in us having a better sex life than most people I personally know. Most of whom are straight. Go fig.

[_Yoda]

He says he realized he was gay and sexually attracted to men since his early teens.

Told this to his current wife when she was only 16.

They later married after he served a Mormon mission.

He says he enjoys sex with his wife. They have three girls together.

He says he is still sexually attracted to men.

He says he is doing this because of his loyalty to LDS theology.

http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-un ... ut-of.html

Talk about a mindfuck by LDS INC.

How can he be gay if you enjoys vaginal sex with a woman, and has never had anal sex with a man??

Paging Paul O....

I read this article as well and there are a lot of things that are left out of the equation here.

For example, in Paul's situation, HE would have been content to remain married to his wife. His wife was the one who left. She wanted a relationship where her partner was TRULY sexually attracted to her.

It was not Paul's fault, but, obviously, Paul wasn't able to give his wife something that she really needed, even though they had been together for years, and had children together.

I hope things work out for this couple as well.

[_beastie]

I suspect their definition of great sex may be a bit different than mine.

Of course love, trust, and intimacy are crucial elements of great sex. But so are passion and attraction.

Oh, well. I wish them the best, and hope that what I suspect will happen in about ten years won't, for their children's sake.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

I wonder how their relationship with fellow members of the Ward avoids awkwardness...

- VRDRC

[_Shulem]

He says he realized he was gay and sexually attracted to men since his early teens.

Told this to his current wife when she was only 16.

They later married after he served a Mormon mission.

He says he enjoys sex with his wife. They have three girls together.

He says he is still sexually attracted to men.

He says he is doing this because of his loyalty to LDS theology.

http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-un ... ut-of.html

Talk about a mindfuck by LDS INC.

How can he be gay if you enjoys vaginal sex with a woman, and has never had anal sex with a man??

Paging Paul O....

You figure it out. I'm busy right now.

Paul O

[_Stormy Waters]

From the comments

Your post brought be great comfort, and reinforced my determination to live my life in a way that would make God happy.
Because of you, I KNOW I can serve an honorable full time mission, and return home to marry a wonderful woman in the temple.

I worry about the influence this blog post will have on people. Generally I think this lifestyle is a bad idea even if some can make it work.

ETA: I imagine it would be like me marrying a man because I believed that's what God wanted me to do. It just seems like such a terrible idea.

[_Dr. Shades]

If this guy ever did engage in homosexual intercourse with a man to whom he was attracted, I suspect he would immediately renounce everything he wrote in that article.

[_Natsunekko]

If this guy ever did engage in homosexual intercourse with a man to whom he was attracted, I suspect he would immediately renounce everything he wrote in that article.


This, exactly. My father is gay. He and mom had six children. In the end, she was the one who ended the marriage after 25+ years. They are both now in sexually appropriate marriages/partnerships, and both have said (separately, of course) that if they'd known back then how happy they could be with the right person, they'd have ended the marriage ages ago.