Do animals go to heaven?

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_DarkHelmet
_Emeritus
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Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _DarkHelmet »

If they do go to heaven, which kingdom will they be in? How will a temple sealed family guarantee their pets will be with their forever family in the CK?

If animals are judged and assigned to a kingdom, shouldn't LDS families be teaching chastity to their pets?

Since sexual sins are second only to murder, will any of these animals make it to the CK, or even be able to avoid outer darkness?

http://www.livescience.com/12963-top-10-polygamous-animals-bonobos-hyena.html
Bonobos are highly promiscuous, engaging in sexual interactions more frequently than any other primate, and in just about every combination from heterosexual to homosexual unions

Spotted hyena clans are socially matriarchal, with females dominating large groups of both males and females. The mating strategy is polygamous, however, with a male mating with many females.

The wild relatives of chickens, red jungle fowl are promiscuous lovers. Since the jungle fowl stay close to home throughout their lives, sex can up the chances of mating with close relatives and delivering inbred offspring. Resisting incest can be difficult for the female fowl, which is dwarfed by the aggressive, sex-crazed males.

Sex in dolphin societies is as fluid as their aquatic undulations. The dolphins are promiscuous and mate for both reproduction and playful pleasure.

During a two-week breeding season, brown antechinus, mouse-like marsupials, begin a mating frenzy. In this promiscuous society, females mate with several partners, each copulation lasting from 5 to 14 hours, before producing offspring. Turns out, by sleeping around, the female increases the chances of her eggs being fertilized by a healthy father and in turn producing fit offspring. After such exhausting sex, before the babies are born, the male antechinus drop dead.
"We have taken up arms in defense of our liberty, our property, our wives, and our children; we are determined to preserve them, or die."
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_krose
_Emeritus
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Re: Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _krose »

I know it's a common belief that people will have their resurrected pets in heaven, but I wonder where the line would be drawn. Will all animals be there? The reptiles, amphibians and insects as well?

People don't stop with dogs and cats and cuddly bunnies as beloved pets. They also commonly have (and love) pet fish, turtles, pigs, pythons, lizards, tarantulas, etc.
"The DNA of fictional populations appears to be the most susceptible to extinction." - Simon Southerton
_Infymus
_Emeritus
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Re: Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _Infymus »

Not of they have ever licked their own genitals, or licked the gentiles of another animal. This unnatural act alone will keep them out of Mormon heaven. Read them the factory talk.

Also:

http://www.news-medical.net/news/2006/10/23/20718.aspx

"Homosexuality is quite common in the animal kingdom, especially among herding animals. Many animals solve conflicts by practicing same gender sex."

More animals that won't make it into heaven.

Besides all this, we know that cats all go to hell. Nasty little things.
_zeezrom
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Re: Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _zeezrom »

My son asked a wonderful question the other day. It went like this: "Dad, you know how you said all living things have a purpose? Well, what purpose do mosquitoes have?"
Oh for shame, how the mortals put the blame on us gods, for they say evils come from us, but it is they, rather, who by their own recklessness win sorrow beyond what is given... Zeus (1178 BC)

The Holy Sacrament.
_lostindc
_Emeritus
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Re: Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _lostindc »

Two-thirds of the animal population was cast out of heaven long ago.

"By their fruits, ye may know them."

I can think of many animals I have owned (dogs, cats, cureloms) that have done deviate s3xual acts such as two male dogs intertwined. It was obvious they were marked as the seed of cain. These actions can be treated with electroshock therapy and counseling and they too can become normal animals.

I once owned a cat that never seemed to progress. Through the years I tried methods to help said cat progress. Through revelation I learned the cat was a fence sitter in the pre-existence. Not much you can do about that...
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_son of Ishmael
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Re: Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _son of Ishmael »

Of course animals go to heaven. We have to eat something while we are up there.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo

Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man. - The Dude

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_Lucifer
_Emeritus
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Re: Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _Lucifer »

Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell.

Curry!

\m/
But Satan now is wiser than of yore, and tempts by making rich, not making poor ~Alexander Pope
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_Samantabhadra
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Re: Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _Samantabhadra »

I know it's a common belief that people will have their resurrected pets in heaven


Egyptians would mummify their pets. I am more and more convinced that Mormonism is actually an Egyptian immortality cult in disguise.
_lostindc
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Re: Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _lostindc »

Samantabhadra wrote:
I know it's a common belief that people will have their resurrected pets in heaven


Egyptians would mummify their pets. I am more and more convinced that Mormonism is actually an Egyptian immortality cult in disguise.


Mormons generally just write books about their pets sprinkled with quotes from Church leadership regarding the sanctity of animals and sell said books at seagull or deseret. Same tone as the filthy lucre fella John Bytheway.
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_Kishkumen
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Re: Do animals go to heaven?

Post by _Kishkumen »

Doctor Scratch, stop calling Daniel Peterson an animal. Your defamation crusade must cease at once.

Your party will end very soon.
"Petition wasn’t meant to start a witch hunt as I’ve said 6000 times." ~ Hanna Seariac, LDS apologist
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