DonBradley wrote:Boilermaker,
Here is some of what I can tell you about the process.
First, in case there is any doubt in your mind, the Church wants you back. In spite of my fears that they would not want me back, I was welcomed and helped from the very first step I made back in the Church's direction. The purpose of the processes in place is not to make it difficult to come back but to facilitate your coming back and fully prepare you to be a member of the Church again and to receive your full temple blessings again.
Second, the process will be handled by a local leader, likely just your bishop.
Third, the specifics can vary somewhat, depending on what your local leader understands and feels. The exact requirements for your return will be largely at his discretion. My bishop, for instance, wanted me to take the missionary discussions. (I expected this to be very strange and awkward, since I had not only been a missionary but am also a historian of Mormonism. Instead it was wonderful. After all these years of studying the Church, I gained real new insights while taking the discussions. And they gave me a chance to recommit myself to each principle taught.) My bishop also wanted me to write a letter formally requesting readmission, and, in that letter, to explain how I now saw the things I had put in my "exit" letter. This gave me a chance to fully process those things and to bear my testimony.
Fourth, I don't want to speak for the Church here, and I could be mistaken in framing it this way, but it appears to me that the Church regards transgressions committed while someone is a nonmember differently from those committed while the person is a member. The latter require repentance and a disciplinary process; the former require only repentance. So, in case you have anything of this nature to confess, don't worry. The Church wants to know that you've forsaken anything inconsistent with its teachings and are committed to living its standards.
Fifth, acknowledging my error, initiating my return to the Church, and being willing to go through the process was a massive dose of humility for me. But this humbling of myself was really the only "humiliation" involved. Nor was that humbling of myself a bad thing. After leaving so much of my ego at the door, I found I was much less inclined to get into arguments and ego battles (e.g., on this board) and more inclined to be polite and positive with others even when they were not that way with me.
Sixth, if you were previously endowed, you will need to wait a year before you can apply for a restoration of priesthood and temple blessings. And then, if all is in order, it will take a matter of weeks before the authorization for this can arrive. There are some ducks that need to be in a row here (e.g., you should be temple worthy), but the Church very much wants you to get your blessings back. And your bishop and stake president will work with you to make sure you get there.
The actual restoration of blessings is done privately, by a laying on of hands and includes the reading of a letter from the First Presidency to you. It is incredibly beautiful.
After your restoration of blessings, your local membership record will show absolutely no sign that you had ever been out of the Church. At that point, your original baptism date will be put back on the record, with no sign that you had ever been out the Church in between. Should you then move to a new area, no one there would even know, unless you tell them. And even if you stay in the same ward, people will not, in my experience, look askance at you. You will be just another member of the ward, and they'll be happy to have you there.
Seventh and finally, from the first step of the process of returning to the Church to the last step of my restoration of blessings there is one thing that was clearly driven home to me time after time: it really is a gospel of forgiveness.
I had expected my past to be held against me. I thought, and feared, that when they read my exit letter, they would never want me back. I thought the process of return would be punitive--that they would rebuke me and tell me how awful I had been to leave and put me through an uphill climb to make restitution. And I feared that even if they let me back in I would be looked down on for having left, as if I had a scarlet letter "A" on my chest for "Apostate."
Absolutely none of this was true. And in every case the truth was the opposite. I was welcomed like the returning prodigal, helped through the process, and fully embraced again as a member of the community. My new baptism was a new start.
When I first approached my bishop about returning, he tried to quell my fears, telling me, "If it weren't a church of forgiveness, it couldn't be Christ's church." And as part of my restoration of blessings I was assured, as you will be also, that God remembered my sins no more. The process of returning to the Church is one of the Atonement in action--you will be made "at one" with your fellow Saints once more and brought back into covenant relationship with God.
Don't let anything deter you. If you want to come back, you will find that you are welcome and wanted. And whatever process that takes will not be too long or too arduous, and will help you to recommit yourself and reintegrate into the Church.
Feel free to write to me privately with further questions. And please update me on your journey as you move ahead. =)
Don
Thanks for this, Don. It really relieved some anxiety I had about what the process was like, in general, and for you specifically.
At the same time, knowing how things can vary from local leader to local leader, I still have concerns.
In my case, though, these are fairly academic concerns. : )