Masturbation is not Sinful According to the Mormon Therapist

[Guest]

I found this post by "the Mormon Therapist" interesting.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/mormontherapist/2012/08/my-official-stance-on-masturbation.html

First, here is her argument:

So here goes my position: Masturbation is not sinful behavior in of itself nor is it a transgression. God has created us as emotional, spiritual, intellectual and sexual beings. He has created these capacities in the context of both relational purpose and self-suffiiciency. Meaning we are social creatures – meant to thrive in relationship with others. At the same time, we are also individual creatures – and when not able to be in relationship have capacity to meet our own needs for certain periods of time depending on age and developmental stage.

And here is a very important caveat:

I understand that like any normal human tendency, masturbation can become an unhealthy behavior. This is also true for eating – yet we don’t couch our physical desire to nourish ourselves with food as sinful. I believe it is unhealthy for masturbation to be done in a way which interferes with your daily functioning or quality of relationships. I do not want to minimize this for those who have struggled or who have suffered in a marriage where their spouse has withdrawn sexually in part because of an unhealthy masturbation habit. At the same time, I believe unnecessary masturbatory shame and unmet attachment needs are at the core of most compulsive masturbatory behavior – becoming an unhealthy coping skill used in times of stress and discontent (topic for another post).

Does this mean I can stop getting up in the middle of the night to make a sandwich or do some pushups?

[_Valentinus]

Oh thank God! I was afraid that spilling seed was stopping the Plan of Happiness.

[_Bob Loblaw]

Years ago when I worked in Orem a group of LDS programmers was sitting around on a Friday and talking about sex. The subject turned to masturbation and just about everyone condemned it and said they didn't do it. One guy said that whenever he was on a business trip he would have his wife talk out his fantasies over the phone while he was wanking. Much too much information. He argued that as long as she was participating over the phone it wasn't wrong.

Jesus, the things I learned about in Utah.

[_Jonah]

Does this I can stop getting up in the middle of the night to make a sandwich or do some pushups?

I WISH I could make a sandwich or do some pushups but my damn hand is tied to the bed frame. I can't get the knot out with my free hand. I've been stuck here for three years.

Can someone lend a brother a hand?? DOH!!

[Guest]

-

[_3sheets2thewind]

Years ago when I worked in Orem a group of LDS programmers was sitting around on a Friday and talking about sex. The subject turned to masturbation and just about everyone condemned it and said they didn't do it. One guy said that whenever he was on a business trip he would have his wife talk out his fantasies over the phone while he was wanking. Much too much information. He argued that as long as she was participating over the phone it wasn't wrong.

Jesus, the things I learned about in Utah.

LOL...this is preached in a couples counseling book written by a member of the Church I think the last name is Lund. He says that masturbation isn't bad as long as the other spouse is involved, the reasoning is that standing in the shower alone and taking care of business is selfish, and selfishness is a sin. But if you spouse is there watching you or mutually participating then there is no selfishness.

[Guest]

A few years back I was having dinner in a quiet restaurant with five high school friends. We'd all gone on missions, gotten married, had children. So far, no divorces but me. At the time one of these friends was a high councilman, another was an EQ prez. We were then and still are all active.

Somehow the subject of "whacking" came up. I think one of our number told a joke, we all laughed, and then the table went silent. It was not a subject anyone wanted to talk about. It's one of those subjects you laugh and tell jokes about, or you don't talk about it at all. I asked why this is so, why everybody was so embarrassed to bring it up.

"Shame-inducing," one of our number remarked. "I'm ashamed right now, in fact I'm blushing."

"Why? Because you have to do it occasionally?" another of our number said. "But we all do, every one of us? Right?"

Nods all around, except the friend who was a high councilman.

"I don't," he said. "Nope. No way." He shook his head.

"Oh, my gosh!" one of my other friends said. "You are a dirty liar and you know it! Are you really going to sit there and tell us that you're the only one of us who doesn't whack? I suppose you have never looked at porn either, right? Never!"

Another moment of uncomfortable silence. My high councilman friend dropped his head, rubbed his brow a bit and then looked up, a sheepish smile on his face.

"You're right," he said. "I'm a liar."

It is interesting to me, and has been for a long time now, how ashamed we all are--i.e., Mormon men. We are grown men, we have married and had children, raised families, made livings for these families, served in the church and our communities. And we are ashamed, every one of us.

[_Everybody Wang Chung]

A few years back I was having dinner in a quiet restaurant with five high school friends. We'd all gone on missions, gotten married, had children. So far, no divorces but me. At the time one of these friends was a bishop, another an EQ prez. We were then and still are all active.

Somehow the subject of "whacking" came up. I think one of our number told a joke, we all laughed, and then the table went silent. It was not a subject anyone wanted to talk about. It's one of those subjects you laugh and tell jokes about, or you don't talk about it all. I asked why this is so, why everybody was so embarrassed to bring it up.

"Shame-inducing," one of our number remarked. "I'm ashamed right now, in fact I'm blushing."

"Why? Because you have to do it occasionally?" another of our number said. "But we all do, every one of us? Right?"

Nods all around, except the friend who was a bishop.

"I don't," he said. Nope. No way." He shook his head.

"Oh, my gosh!" one of my other friends said. "You are a dirty liar and you know it! Are you really going to sit there and tell us that you're the only one of us who doesn't whack? I suppose you have never looked at porn either, right? Never!"

Another moment of uncomfortable silence. My bishop friend dropped his head, rubbed his brow a bit and then looked up, a sheepish smile on his face.

"You're right," he said. "I'm a liar."

It is interesting to me, and has been for a long time now, how ashamed we all are--i.e., Mormon men. We are grown men, we have married and had children, raised families, made livings for these families, served in the church and our communities. And we are ashamed, every one of us.

kjones,

I am a Bishop and I would also be lying if I said I had never engaged in that "activity". Everyone does, and I don't view it as a problem (except in the rarest of cases).

I also have never asked any of my youth, or adults for that matter, about masturbation. It would be very inappropriate for any Bishop to inquire about that subject.

[_DarkHelmet]

[_Cicero]

One of my mission presidents was fairly fanatical about "self abuse" (that was always what he called it). He invented a bunch of stupid rules to help keep us in line. For instance, we had to wear pajamas to bed (no going to sleep in just garments . . . like that would stop anybody).

Another rule was that each missionary could only be alone in the bathroom for 10 minutes or less. I lived in one house with 5 other missionaries and we had one guy that was actually a great missionary, but he was also a comedian and habitual rule breaker. We had an AP (a collosal jerk) staying with us for a split that day and the rebellious elder had been in the shower for longer than 10 minutes. The AP pounded on the door and shouted "what are you doing in there Elder?" His response: "I'M GOING BLIND!"