For Zee and anyone else who attends Church to keep the peace

[_why me]

And at the end of day when I am long gone, they will remember the support that I gave them.

Trying to purchase a little bit of immortality there, eh?

No, just being s supportive parent in my own daughters' biographies.

[Guest]

.

[_consiglieri]

The problem is that toronto is approaching this issue with sour grapes. He is allowing his own feelings interfere with a wish by his son to serve a mission. I feel a little sad for the son. He is the only one who is still an active member of the church, surrounded by family who do not support his belief system and hinder his desire to serve a mission. Not good for the son.

Somehow your smarmy brand of supercilliousness is not fully evident to me until I see you defecating it on somebody else.

LDST is a good guy and a fine dad. His son is lucky to have him for a father regardless of how he chooses to resolve this issue.

[_LDSToronto]

I'm guessing you would be financially supportive of him going on some kind of humanitarian project for a period of time, if he had shown interest?

Without hesitation.

H.

[_LDSToronto]

The problem is that toronto is approaching this issue with sour grapes.

I could have full activity in the church if I wanted it, so there is little need for me to pretend I don't want it because it is fully attainable.

He is allowing his own feelings interfere with a wish by his son to serve a mission.

I am letting my feelings influence where I spend money. But I let me feelings influence how I spend my money all the time. Let me break it down for you:

1) My son can serve a mission if that is what he decides to do
2) I am expected to pay for that mission
3) I will pay for my son to have a great life experience
4) I will not pay for a church to preach something I don't believe in, but more importantly, I won't pay for the church to do so unethically - whitewashing it's story and all that.
5) I don't believe a mission is a great life experience

I feel a little sad for the son. He is the only one who is still an active member of the church, surrounded by family who do not support his belief system and hinder his desire to serve a mission. Not good for the son.

Have you met my son? Do you know what his beliefs and desires are? Has he told you? Do you imagine that I would share every detail about my son on this board? Do you know what kind of relationship I have with him?

A parent should put away their own prejudices and go with the flow.

This is terrible parenting advice.

H.

[_cafe crema]

The problem is that toronto is approaching this issue with sour grapes. He is allowing his own feelings interfere with a wish by his son to serve a mission. I feel a little sad for the son. He is the only one who is still an active member of the church, surrounded by family who do not support his belief system and hinder his desire to serve a mission. Not good for the son.

That LDST is allowing his feelings to interfere with his adult sons wishes is nonsense. Adult children should be fulfilling their own wishes in regards to useless activities. Parents will of course invest in their children as best they can generally putting the good of their children above their own wants and often their own needs. But paying thousands of dollars to promote a church (the church should be paying all of the missionary costs involved) is not something expected of parents in any other church. Nor would any other church treat parents of missionaries as badly as the LDS church treats the parents of it's missionaries.

Maybe you should address the LDS church's unwillingness to pay for it's missionaries. I think if LDST's son wants to go on a mission it is far worse for the LDS church (with it's billions) to refuse because he can't pay than for LDST to refuse to pay because he doesn't believe in the church.

A parent should put away their own prejudices and go with the flow. My daughters had great experiences on their missions. And have meet what seems to me lifelong friends. No harm done. And it was also a learning experience where they learned a language, learned a culture and grew tremendously in maturity. Was it worth my money? I think so. And they know that although their dad is a poor member, he still had the love for them to support their wishes.

[/quote]

LDST has said he'd be perfectly willing to pay for travel and education abroad for his son. And in this scenario his son would be able to call home anytime, to share happy and fun experiences or to find support in trying times, something and LDS missionary is not allowed to do.

There us absolutely no problem with LDST refusing to pay for his son to spend 2 years shilling for the LDS church. The LDS church should fund it's sales force not the parents.

[_DarkHelmet]

A parent should put away their own prejudices and go with the flow.

This is terrible parenting advice.

H.

LOL. Why me sounds like one of those hippy parents.

[_Bob Loblaw]

This is terrible parenting advice.

H.

No kidding. When my son recently made a very stupid decision, I told him I would not support him. He replied that his in-laws respected his and his wife's decision, so why couldn't I? I said I don't have to respect stupid decisions.

Suggesting that a parent must swallow his or her feelings and support a child in every decision is unbelievably stupid advice. Can you imagine what why me's family is like?

"Hey, dad. I need $10,000 to help a Nigerian prince get his money out of frozen accounts."

"OK, whatever you need. I wouldn't want to disappoint you."

[_Jason Bourne]

A parent should put away their own prejudices and go with the flow.

Wny me. If a parent is active LDS and has a son who does not want to go on a mission should they put away their own prejudices and not encourage their son to go on a mission?

What if the son wants to shack up with his girl friend? Would you criticize them for their trying to persuade him not to due to their religion and their prejudices? Or does it only work when the parent is not favorable about LDS things? Is that the only time they should put aside their prejudices?

[_LDSToronto]

A parent should put away their own prejudices and go with the flow.

Wny me. If a parent is active LDS and has a son who does not want to go on a mission should they put away their own prejudices and not encourage their son to go on a mission?

What if the son wants to shack up with his girl friend? Would you criticize them for their trying to persuade him not to due to their religion and their prejudices? Or does it only work when the parent is not favorable about LDS things? Is that the only time they should put aside their prejudices?

That, sir, is an excellent point.

H.