GOP PARTY PLANKS

[_MeDotOrg]

What I want, what I really, really want...

If the carefully crafted statements of a Presidential candidate are a reflection of a Party's superego, the platform is a reflection of the id.

For the past week, The Republican National Committee's Platform Committee has been hammering out the planks that will be proposed to the Convention. Show below are a few:

I'd like you to meet my sister --- and my daughter:

• A Constitutional ban on abortion, including in the case of rape or incest.

Because it's too hard to get a gun in this country, and teenagers wear hoodies and drink iced tea.

• "Republicans support federal legislation that would expand the "fundamental right to self-defense."

Because the way to get an accurate count is to have a government worker ask:"Are you an illegal alien?"

• Support "changing the way that the decennial census is conducted, so that citizens are distinguished from lawfully present aliens and illegal aliens."

Because it has worked so well in California:

• Support a constitutional amendment calling for a super-majority -- 60 votes in the Senate -- for any tax increase, unless in cases of war or national tragedy.

Because everyone else is trying to take away our right to a traditional marriage.

• "Republicans support the traditional definition of marriage as the "union of one man and one woman."

Because we want to see William Jennings Bryant rise from the dead before Ron Paul dies:

• "Republicans support the creation of a commission to explore whether the United States should return to the gold standard."

Because we would never do anything to fundamentally change Medicare:

• "Republicans support a voucher-like system that provides future seniors with a fixed amount of money to spend on health insurance."