My "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream" Last Night

[Guest]

It’s very odd for me to have any dream concerning Mormonism any more…but last night I had what I can only interpret as a “Bizarre Spooky Mormon Hell Dream”.

In the dream my TBM wife and I were standing at the front of an empty LDS Ward Chapel…right in front of the podium. With us was none other than Thomas Monson. He turned to me and said “Craig I want to show you something”. Monson then turned towards the podium and lifted a lid on the podium which exposed a compartment holding what appeared to be “The Golden Plates”. He reached in and removed the plates from this compartment built into the stand and handed them to me…he then asked me to examine the plates...that in so doing I might know of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.

As I held the plates I was surprised by how light they were. In my mind, they weighed no more than 20-30 pounds…I could easily hold them in one hand and turn the pages with the other. The golden plates themself were spectacular in appearance and shinned and glistened in the chapel light. They appeared to be made of gold yet didn’t have the heft of gold…I remember turning to my wife and saying…”wow these are so much lighter than I would expect gold to weigh”. As I turned each page I noticed that the writing on each page had an almost machine like precision to its form and spacing…much like one might find with a Microsoft Word font…if Microsoft Word had a Reformed Egyptian font. It was not like one would expect to find if these characters had been written by a human hand. The Reformed Egyptian characters were very similar to those found on the Professor Anton letter.

As I turned page after page I remember looking up on occasion to find my wife and President Monson beaming their approval with broad smiles on their faces…Monson saying “surely now you will believe”. And just when I was about to concede defeat and to declare to them that I had now seen enough to admit that I had been in error…I turned another page… there staring at me on that page was an Arnold Friberg picture of Lehi and Nephi standing on their boat crossing the ocean. Only in this version the picture had been machine etched into the golden plates. I turned more pages and found each of the Friberg Book of Mormon pictures similarly etched throughout the golden plates.

I turned the pictures on the plates to my wife and asked her if this looked like an ancient record or the fabrication of man. But she and Monson both maintained their stepford wife smiles. Grinning at each and every picture.

I then closed the plates and turn them over to the back of the last plate…and there found stamped into the bottom center of the golden plates the words “Made in China”

I then turned to both of them and said….really? You believe that this came from God? To me this is such an obvious man made work....why can't you see that? I then woke up.

Well…I guess I can blame it on the tacos but I didn’t eat Mexican last night…so is the Mormon God sending me a message?

[_PrickKicker]

Hahaha, Love it...

Tell me... Did Monson have a 'normal' voice or say it in his, Long drawn out monotonous, hypnotic Y - A - W - N - Y , Voice?
to evoke the spirit in you?

We seriously have that style of speech going on in my ward atm, it's so FAKE!.

[_Craig Paxton]

Hahaha, Love it...

Tell me... Did Monson have a 'normal' voice or say it in his, Long drawn out monotonous, hypnotic Y - A - W - N - Y , Voice?
to evoke the spirit in you?

We seriously have that style of speech going on in my ward atm, it's so FAKE!.

Yes I'm sure he said "Hearts were touched and souls saved" at some point

[_bcspace]

I'd lay off the weed for a a while if I were you.

[_3sheets2thewind]

Interesting dream, seems you are a bit inclined to believe from a spiritual standpoint, but you allow man made issues to outweigh your spiritual inclining.