MormonThink, Pres. Allan Pratt & Masturbation

[_LDS truthseeker]

...

You are not even smart enough to understand why you are a disturbing kind of person. I suppose that explains why you are who you are.

+1

[_krose]

But the solution to your problem is to use tissue when the moment comes.

Perhaps the problem with this obvious solution is that it would require premeditation, which is obviously more sinful than just yielding to impromptu temptation. After all, that's why good Mormon kids won't use condoms... buying them indicates a premeditated sin.

[_brade]

Just a side note: it is not easy being a companion to the masturbating bear. Little white drops end up on the bathroom floor and the poor companion has to sidetrack the drops. Best not to do it.

I recall a very good friend of mine who had a masturbating bear for a companion. His poor attempts of dodging the sperm droppings had me rolling on the floor...fortunately a clean floor.

[_why me]

...

You are not even smart enough to understand why you are a disturbing kind of person. I suppose that explains why you are who you are.

Like I said, I am basing my opinion on a friend who had a masturbating bear for a companion and my friend's experiences with him on his mission. He found it disgusting. Missionaries live rather near to each other. Not easy for a missionary to know that his companion is doing it in the bathroom. As any return missionary here knows, going to the toilet after a masturbating bear is not easy.

[_3sheets2thewind]

Someone should put the transcript of that "overcoming masturbation" speech up. Unbelievable.

"Why are we only having two baptisms a month in the France Toulouse Mission? Doggone it. Scratch is winning."

♫ Satan has a hold of France, we've got to knock him off his perch! ♫

2out of 3 missionaries I know who served in France went inactive within weeks of coming home.

There was a rumor on my mission that an Apostle cleaned house on missionaries in France at some point in history.

[_Sethbag]

Just as bad as the whole masturbation fixation in Pres. Pratt's diatribe at the missionaries is the emphasis on not using the Internet at all if they can't stick to myldsmail.net or whatever the church-approved email site is.

Seriously though, the church has its own email site, and forbids missionaries from getting email through any other site or account? This stuff is just jaw-droppingly stupid. The friggin control freaks just can't help themselves.

Can you imagine the guilt a righteous elder must feel when he's sitting at that computer, and has just finished reading his Big Brother-approved email at myldsmail.net, and yields to temptation and commits the sin third only to murder. That's right, he types in gmail.com and checks his email! EVIL! This man is going to hell just as surely as that sister who yields to temptation and installs a 2nd pair of earrings!

[_ludwigm]

... maybe he was "valiantly" surfing porn on the web to research what kind of dangers are out there on the web in order to educated enough to protect his missionaries ...

[#img] http://wumocomicstrip.com/img/strip/-WM ... 120312.jpg[#/img]

[_why me]

J

Can you imagine the guilt a righteous elder must feel when he's sitting at that computer, and has just finished reading his Big Brother-approved email at myldsmail.net, and yields to temptation and commits the sin third only to murder. That's right, he types in gmail.com and checks his email! EVIL! This man is going to hell just as surely as that sister who yields to temptation and installs a 2nd pair of earrings!

Missionaries have a short time to do their email. And most of the people who are their friends and family go to myldsmail when they write to the elder or sister. The reason why other accounts should not be accessed is: one can forget the time when one is on the computer. As we all know, 3 hours can go by very quickly. Rules are rules. If broken, other rules will be broken to.

I don't think that the mission president was right in his talk. Be that as it may, we have no idea where this occurred. Or if the context is correct. Let me put it this way: Usually, sisters would also be present for mission president talks. But this talk seems to have no sister missionaries present. Something is not right here.

[_Themis]

...

You really are stupid.

[_why me]

...

You really are stupid.

First of all, we have an audio tape. Second, we assume that it is a talk to missionaries in some kind of conference. But where are the sisters when he begins to lecture the young men about self abuse? My take is that the lecture is not what it claims to be. Second, there is a picture of him holding a large stick, looking a little stupid. Good effect for connotation. But I still believe that there is something wrong here. Now if true, this was a missionary talk, and the sisters were present, it would be far worse. But...my guess would be that no mish prez will be speaking this way with sister missionaries present.