Possible Job Offer in Utah: Debating a move to Zion

[_Fence Sitter]

I've lived outside of Utah for 30 years this year. I've done everything I wanted to do in the "big city." I want a lower cost of living and sky and mountains and desert. I want certain parts of Northern Utah (where the wild horses roam).

I'll live in Salt Lake and I will have plenty of friends who are Mormon, Ex-Mormon and Non-Mormon.

I can drive to LA and SF when I want to see some art (and also visit all the many friends I have in those places).

I will be closer to my brother in Seattle and can visit him and his cool family and all my Pacific Northwest friends.

I will not be able to avoid downtown Salt Lake City as I will be doing research in the church archives, but I will avert my gaze from The Crime Scene and never enter there. I will also try to avoid The Gateway to Hell, but unless another Mac store opens up (or has already), I suppose I'll have to hold my nose and visit that Consumer's Paradise.

I will bathe in the briney waters of the lake and contentedly grow older in the Shadow of the Everlasting Hills.

I grew up in So Cal but I lived for ten years in Provo while attending the Y and afterwards. Like Blixa it has been 25 years since I lived in Utah and there are many things about it I miss. I would consider moving back there for all the same reasons that Blixa states. It is a beautiful state with a lot to offer. My wife and I actually considered a job offer for me a few years back that would have placed us in Logan. We were excited about the prospect of living there.

[_MCB]

I will avert my gaze from The Crime Scene and never enter there. I will also try to avoid The Gateway to Hell,

Different images, but the same effect.

[_madeleine]

As much as I love Utah, I would hesitate to make this move if I were going to a company filled with LDS employees and I were ex-LDS. From everything I have heard, this can not only be stressful, but it can also really destroy your prospects of advancing in that office. Some LDS folk are so biased against ex-LDS that they will undermine them in whatever way they can. I don't think they can help themselves there. Some of them simply will believe that you are evil.

lostindc. THIS is the real deciding factor.

I worked for many long years for a company that was 99% Mormon. The workplace was an extension of The Ward. Don't do anything that Mormons turn their noses up at, because they will be career killers. Don't have a cup of coffee on your desk, don't be seen buying or drinking beer/liquor, outside of work hours included, be amiable to prayers in business meetings (once they asked me spur of the moment....I was atheist at the time....I winged it...the Mormon prayer formula is easy to recall).

If you work in a place that is not owned by Mormons and not majorly populated by Mormons, life is very normal.

That being said, a woman from my parish just moved out of UT. They lived here about 4 years, and couldn't take it. I know other "transplants" who have been here for decades.

It's your move. ;)

[_zeezrom]

I have colleague friends that have mentioned they want to move out due to Mormon neighbors not being kind to their kids. :(

[_sock puppet]

As much as I love Utah, I would hesitate to make this move if I were going to a company filled with LDS employees and I were ex-LDS. From everything I have heard, this can not only be stressful, but it can also really destroy your prospects of advancing in that office. Some LDS folk are so biased against ex-LDS that they will undermine them in whatever way they can. I don't think they can help themselves there. Some of them simply will believe that you are evil.

Sort of a subtle mob mentality? Ostracism that most would not do one-on-one, but with the herd, they are emboldened and it just comes out?

[_luc]

Wow--I don't think you're giving living in Utah enough credit. Yes, there are many Mormons and ex-Mormons but there are also thriving congregations of many other faiths, even in the south end of Salt Lake Valley. I know because I've checked my fair share out. And please don't assume, lostindc, that we are a bunch of sheltered people who have never lived outside of Utah except to serve missions. That's not my case and not the case of many of my close friends. I think you're going to find what you're looking for. I've found a diverse set of friends and colleagues that don't give a rat's what religion I am or have been. I'm finding it's the same situation for my children. I'm sure there are a lot of judgemental, intolerant people here, but I don't really want to hang with them either so it all works out. Good luck with your decision.

[_sansfoy]

I moved out in 2000 and have raised my kids in the Northeast, but have felt some draw to my home state. It's a little sad though that I feel embarrassed to tell people where I grew up, because there's so much baggage that I feel the need to explain and so many assumptions I need to correct. It will be great when the day comes that there is a more even mix of Mormon and non-Mormon.

[_Kishkumen]

I don't want you to get the wrong idea about Mormons. Most of them are good people, but I think something often goes awry in a place where most people are LDS, they all share roughly the same mindset, and they have the power to decide whether you, an ex-Mormon, prosper in the office or not.

I think it comes down to this: it is human to prefer and privilege those who resemble ourselves. If you don't fit, that could hurt you. If they look at you as someone who asserted yourself in a way that rejected them (i.e., you rejected the "Truth"), then there are a lot of subtle ways they may chill you out without even realizing it.

[_degaston]

OK there are a lot of TBM's around Daybreak. But there are plenty of people who aren't TBM and we can have a wonderful time in Daybreak. You just need to know where to find them. And you're not going to find them at the local Ward on Sunday. I'd say its about 50/50 in the ratio of TBM's to everyone else in Daybreak.

Yes I suppose that the schools aren't as good in Utah as they are in some places in the DC area. But there are plenty of problems in the DC area that get hidden very well. I spent enough years in Fairfax County Public Schools to get an idea on this. My kids are not TBM at all and this doesn't negatively impact them socially. In fact one of them was the student body president at his school last year.

Comparing Daybreak to Utah County and other Mormondom meccas ought to offend my easily offended thin-skinned soul. Now that you've offended me I suppose that I'm going to go back to church just like that unkind glance of a Bishop obviously was the real reason why I threw my eternal salvation in the toilet by exiting activity a decade ago. It couldn't have possibly been over the silly issues like the Lamanite/DNA, Book of Abraham, Kinderhook Plates, or the MMM. Ummmm never mind on going back .... I'd be bored out of my freaking mind and I'd be offended far beyond anyone could ever offend me by calling Daybreak a TBM mecca. Instead this Sunday I'll be dragging my easily offended soul over to the gym in Daybreak as I'm planning on contributing 10% of my gross weight this year as a burned calorie offering to the god of gyms. I might not get spiritually nourished at the truest and most honest church on earth. But at least I'll be paying some real tithing and getting some immediate health blessings.

Oh yeah one other thing. I will forgive you for offending me if you actually do move to Daybreak and participate in some of the get-togethers we do here with other people who like to drink the same sacred beverages that Joseph Smith used to regularly drink in Nauvoo at Moesser's or for his last drink in the Carthage Jail. But if you don't move in then I might forgive anyway because I tend to do the same with people as I do with tithing to the Mormon church - i.e. forgive and forget. Well in their case I still want my money back ;) But I do always now forget to pay :)

[_Blixa]

Wow--I don't think you're giving living in Utah enough credit. Yes, there are many Mormons and ex-Mormons but there are also thriving congregations of many other faiths, even in the south end of Salt Lake Valley. I know because I've checked my fair share out. And please don't assume, lostindc, that we are a bunch of sheltered people who have never lived outside of Utah except to serve missions. That's not my case and not the case of many of my close friends. I think you're going to find what you're looking for. I've found a diverse set of friends and colleagues that don't give a rat's what religion I am or have been. I'm finding it's the same situation for my children. I'm sure there are a lot of judgemental, intolerant people here, but I don't really want to hang with them either so it all works out. Good luck with your decision.

Totally agree.