Schryver/Ludd Drops a Bomb

[_Sethbag]

I have it on very good authority that the Lord commanded the Prophet that the church is to create and publish a new font to be used to spell out the church's name in all official publications from here on out.

The First Presidency agreed, and then met with the Twelve Apostles together in a secret conclave in the upper room of the Salt Lake Temple. After filing in in order of decreasing seniority and taking their seats, a hymn was sung and a very moving opening prayer was given by Elder D. Todd Christoffersen. The commandment from God was then discussed, and then all 15 Apostles got down on their knees and prayed. Each Apostle, in order from President Thomas S. Monson, his two Counselors, and then down through Elder Boyd K. Packer on down to the most junior Apostle bared their souls in earnest prayer, that they might know the mind and will of the Lord.

Tears were shed. The eyes of enlightenment were opened. Tender feelings were shared in common, and the Apostles looked around that mighty conference table and nodded at each other. "I'm good with that" said Elder Packer, followed by the testimonies of the rest of the Quorum of the Twelve.

It was a moving, tender experience which shall never be forgotten by any who were present on that blessed day. The Lord had confirmed his commandment to each and every heart. They knew, and they knew that God knew, and they could never deny it.

It was official. The church must have a new font with which to spell its name in all official church publications from now on. We have our marching orders. The Apostles have given the Seventies their marching orders, and the Seventies have given the Area Presidencies their marching orders. The Area Presidencies have given the Area Authorities their marching orders. The Area Authorities have met with the Stake Presidents and given them their marching orders. The Stake Presidents have met with the Bishops and given them their marching orders. This coming Sunday the Bishops will read a letter from the pulpit in Sacrament Meeting: the Lord needs a talented individual to volunteer their time to accomplish the mighty work which God has appointed unto this, his Church. Anyone with Truetype or Postscript typeface design experience please let your file leader know. Artistic talent is a plus.

I bear my testimony that God lives, Jesus is real. He's actually out there somewhere. And he leads this church. While the rest of the world languishes, the Latter-day Saints benefit from having the Creator of the Entire Universe telling his Prophet on Earth what it is we should all be doing. Is it not wonderful? Is it not marvelous?

[_sock puppet]

I have it on very good authority that the Lord commanded the Prophet that the church is to create and publish a new font to be used to spell out the church's name in all official publications from here on out.

The First Presidency agreed, and then met with the Twelve Apostles together in a secret conclave in the upper room of the Salt Lake Temple. After filing in in order of decreasing seniority and taking their seats, a hymn was sung and a very moving opening prayer was given by Elder D. Todd Christoffersen. The commandment from God was then discussed, and then all 15 Apostles got down on their knees and prayed. Each Apostle, in order from President Thomas S. Monson, his two Counselors, and then down through Elder Boyd K. Packer on down to the most junior Apostle bared their souls in earnest prayer, that they might know the mind and will of the Lord.

Tears were shed. The eyes of enlightenment were opened. Tender feelings were shared in common, and the Apostles looked around that mighty conference table and nodded at each other. "I'm good with that" said Elder Packer, followed by the testimonies of the rest of the Quorum of the Twelve.

It was a moving, tender experience which shall never be forgotten by any who were present on that blessed day. The Lord had confirmed his commandment to each and every heart. They knew, and they knew that God knew, and they could never deny it.

It was official. The church must have a new font with which to spell its name in all official church publications from now on. We have our marching orders. The Apostles have given the Seventies their marching orders, and the Seventies have given the Area Presidencies their marching orders. The Area Presidencies have given the Area Authorities their marching orders. The Area Authorities have met with the Stake Presidents and given them their marching orders. The Stake Presidents have met with the Bishops and given them their marching orders. This coming Sunday the Bishops will read a letter from the pulpit in Sacrament Meeting: the Lord needs a talented individual to volunteer their time to accomplish the mighty work which God has appointed unto this, his Church. Anyone with Truetype or Postscript typeface design experience please let your file leader know. Artistic talent is a plus.

I bear my testimony that God lives, Jesus is real. He's actually out there somewhere. And he leads this church. While the rest of the world languishes, the Latter-day Saints benefit from having the Creator of the Entire Universe telling his Prophet on Earth what it is we should all be doing. Is it not wonderful? Is it not marvelous?

Well, wouldn't it be a damn good time to own a sign, graphics or publishing business in SLC? There might be legs to this prediction if TSM, Eyring, or BKP have a nephew or grandson that owns such a business.