Missionary Age Change - Practical Consequences For Me

[_Aristotle Smith]

I did not appreciate the announced age change for missionaries. For me, this will have practical consequences.

I live in a mixed faith marriage, my wife is TBM, I am no longer Mormon. This creates difficulties in what each of us can tell the kids and when they are told certain things. Up until now my plan was to hold off on telling my kids the real facts about LDS history and doctrine until they were older. I didn't have a firm time frame in mind, but 18 years old seemed like a good time to tell my sons. At that point it's not really an issue of educating minors, but it would really be more of an adult to adult conversation. Plus, having graduated from high school would give them a chance to feel like they were more adult before I told them anything too negative. They would be more mature and could make their own choices at that point. Most importantly, it would give them a chance to think about things before heading off on a mission, or to decide to forego the mission, or to just leave the church entirely.

Now that's no longer an option. I now have to have that conversation earlier than I wanted. They will be minors which means I won't have the luxury of talking to them as adults. They won't be as mature. There will be more possibilities for conflict between my wife and myself.

This pisses me off.

[_sock puppet]

I think it is parents like you, Aristotle, that may be part of the problem that Mormon God needed to reveal a solution for.

[_just me]

I feel your pain. I have some of the same concerns.

[_quaker]

Why don't you give them some books to read, like Rough Stone Rolling or something on the Mountain Meadows Massacre, or give them less extensive reading and provide some good (according to what you think constitute the 'real facts and doctrines') sunstone presentations?

Are you planing the shock and awe, overwhelming them with 'facts' without any context approach? Just send them to mrm.org or get that Aaron Shaff guy to come over for family home evening.

I have no idea what you plan to tell them are the real facts and doctrines but given that statement it seems you have the same attitude as many of the internet sites around - so why not just direct your kids to such educational readings?

[_Gadianton]

this is also bad news for families with several children. Right out of a recession where they were told to be "generous" in their tithing, and they've got to pony up that much more savings every month to get their kids on missions. It's really bad. Let's say two boys and two girls. that's 1+1+2+2, six years of savings they've got to catch up. And it gets worse, because assuming these kids start work at sixteen, they have that many less years to contribute themselves to the pot, putting an even greater burden on the parents.

For the wealthy, this is OK though, because they can get their kids through the mission to pursue college uninterrupted.

[_Tim]

This change is all about getting young men out on the field before they can be distracted by anything (in this case it just happens to be their father).

[_Aristotle Smith]

Why don't you give them some books to read, like Rough Stone Rolling or something on the Mountain Meadows Massacre, or give them less extensive reading and provide some good (according to what you think constitute the 'real facts and doctrines') sunstone presentations?

Are you planing the shock and awe, overwhelming them with 'facts' without any context approach? Just send them to mrm.org or get that Aaron Shaff guy to come over for family home evening.

I have no idea what you plan to tell them are the real facts and doctrines but given that statement it seems you have the same attitude as many of the internet sites around - so why not just direct your kids to such educational readings?

The first problem is that most kids simply don't have the cognitive abilities to follow out the abstract reasoning required to process the facts of the LDS church. I want my kids to make a decision, not be manipulated into one by either my wife or myself. By waiting until later, I had hoped they would be mature enough to do this. And I say all this having really bright children.

The second problem is that at 18 people are generally allowed to make their own decisions. Even if a young teenager does come to an intellectual decision, their abilities to follow this decision are limited. In the context of an inter-faith marriage it generally means choosing one parent over the other. At the very least my wife and I would have to renegotiate the truce we have arrived at.

[_bcspace]

Now that's no longer an option. I now have to have that conversation earlier than I wanted. They will be minors which means I won't have the luxury of talking to them as adults. They won't be as mature. There will be more possibilities for conflict between my wife and myself.

This pisses me off.

I find it heartening that someone like you would be so discomfited. Of course the only real and rational solution for you is to regain your testimony.

[_The Dude]

At the very least my wife and I would have to renegotiate the truce we have arrived at.

Why is it better for your kids to believe lies for a longer period of time? This age change provides a powerful rationale for you to renegotiate the truce and reach terms that are ultimately better for your kids. It may be uncomfortable for you at first, like changing jobs or moving to a new home, but we are always better off living our lives free and clear from the lies of Mormonism.

[_KevinSim]

Up until now my plan was to hold off on telling my kids the real facts about LDS history and doctrine until they were older. I didn't have a firm time frame in mind, but 18 years old seemed like a good time to tell my sons.

Aristotle, were you planning on just telling them "the real facts about" LDS history and doctrine, or were you planning on also telling them the real facts about Biblical Christian history and doctrine?