19 year Old Female Missionaries are Akin to Breeding Pandas

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_Racer
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19 year Old Female Missionaries are Akin to Breeding Pandas

Post by _Racer »

Hear me out on my theory here. Pandas are endangered, and for some reason they aren't mating. Often times zoologists will get a male and female panda in a controlled environment in the hopes that a connection is made and they mate.

Young LDS women and men aren't getting married anymore, and the church is concerned. No marriage = no rush to find a career to bring home enough bread to afford a McMansion to accommodate a family and be in a higher tithing bracket. No marriage = no organic growth via kids. No future kids = no future tithing base.

Let's apply this Panda concept to young LDS kids. Lowering the age of women missionaries puts more females in the mission field. I theorize more females will feel obligated to serve even though its not emphasized. Lowering the age of Men to 18 ensures that towards the end of a mission both male and female missionaries will be 20. This idea posits that the church wants more nubile and sexually attractive women in the field who are in the same age range as the men. The closer to a 50:50 ratio the better. The hope is that by working closely together in a controlled environment, chemistry will build, and sexual tension will increase. Even though romance will still be forbidden in the mission field, a bond will form based on the common experience of working in the mission field. When they get home they will be the same age, and hopefully take the relationship to the next level. Marriage will be quickened because they will want to have sex after being horny for each other in the field. The courtship is reduced because they got to know each other and work together in the the field. The bond is stronger because "No one truly understands what kind of trials we faced when we were both serving in the slums of Memphis eking out a meager living and fighting for survival."

I could be totally off base, but I think this theory holds some weight.
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_moksha
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Re: 19 year Old Female Missionaries are Akin to Breeding Panda

Post by _moksha »

Racer wrote:I could be totally off base, but I think this theory holds some weight.


This is based on the assumption that the 20 year old missionaries won't still desire 18 year olds as their first choice, not that they wouldn't clamor for a mate who could quote scriptures on their wedding night. That would be better than the traditional round of canasta.
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_bcspace
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Re: 19 year Old Female Missionaries are Akin to Breeding Panda

Post by _bcspace »

There is no basis to the "tithing bracket" premise.

I could be totally off base, but I think this theory holds some weight.


I would agree that sexual tension is a factor, even one that is actually considered. However, it is well known that the rising divorce rate which scares people from commitment and the desire to play and not settle down are the some of the largest factors in this problem. Combine that with the removal of the social stigma of sex out of wedlock and it's a really serious problem.
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_ludwigm
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Re: 19 year Old Female Missionaries are Akin to Breeding Panda

Post by _ludwigm »

Racer wrote:Pandas are endangered
[#img] http://wumocomicstrip.com/img/strip/-WM ... -10-13.gif[#/img]

Racer wrote: for some reason they aren't mating
[#img] http://wumocomicstrip.com/img/strip/-WM ... -10-14.gif[#/img]

Racer wrote:Often times zoologists will get a male and female panda in a controlled environment in the hopes that a connection is made and they mate.
[#img] http://wumocomicstrip.com/img/strip/-WM ... -02-07.gif[#/img]
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_brade
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Re: 19 year Old Female Missionaries are Akin to Breeding Panda

Post by _brade »

bcspace wrote:There is no basis to the "tithing bracket" premise.

I could be totally off base, but I think this theory holds some weight.


I would agree that sexual tension is a factor, even one that is actually considered. However, it is well known that the rising divorce rate which scares people from commitment and the desire to play and not settle down are the some of the largest factors in this problem. Combine that with the removal of the social stigma of sex out of wedlock and it's a really serious problem.


Hi, bc, will you please link to some studies that show that the overall divorce rate is rising?

Edit: Oh, what the hell. I'll just do it.

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_The Mighty Builder
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Re: 19 year Old Female Missionaries are Akin to Breeding Panda

Post by _The Mighty Builder »

The Panda Affect. Brilliant!
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