Mormon Discussions and Covenants

[_CaliforniaKid]

There is no charade here, The Mighty Builder. I saw what I saw---and I'm pleased that Mormon Jesus has seen fit to start using women as witnesses to divine events again. Who says eternal progression isn't true?

I'll also have you know that today I was vacuuming my floor, and I vacuumed in five minutes an amount of carpet that ordinarily would have taken ten minutes to vacuum, which freed up enough time for me to write this post and bear witness to you. There must be an overruling hand in that.

Totally jealous of your experience, Jack. Very disappointed that I wasn't chosen as one of the three, but maybe I can be among the eight (assuming this dispensation of the fulness of the board follows the pattern of the fulness of times).

[_Sethbag]

Chris, unfortunately I believe that when the Eight are chosen, they will not receive a personal visitation by Mormon Jesus, but will instead see his words in the chat room. They will see his words, and handle them with their own hands, or at least use their hands to sweep their pointers across Mormon Jesus' words using their mice.

[_ludwigm]

Revelation given to Mormon Discussions 28 October 2012 at the request of certain board members, unwittingly implying that the Lord gives revelations to order.
8-12, the Lord has His cake and eats it too;
...
8. Behold, I, the Lord, hear the voice of them who cry unto me, even as I have heard the voice of ludwigm, who in his faith hath prayed that he may be able to post pictures upon this, my message board,
9. Verily, it is pleasing unto me that Dr. Shades lift this ban from ludwigm, that he may labor as seemeth him good upon this board,
10. And if Dr. Shades will not hearken unto my will, then I, the Lord, will require no more an offering from my servant ludigwm,
11. For if Dr. Shades will remove this ban, then it shall be because of ludwigm's faith in me, and if he shall not, then I, the Lord, require no more when the enemies of my servants frustrate their efforts to follow my commandments,
12. And in this wise I, the Lord, may say that my will has come to pass, regardless of what shall happen,
...
Amen.

There is a hungarian saying/proverb:
"Nesze semmi, fogd meg jól." = Here is nothing, hold it tight.

Glory to Mormon Jesus ...

♪ sostenuto, tempo larghissimo, all' ongarese ♫

[_CaliforniaKid]

Chris, unfortunately I believe that when the Eight are chosen, they will not receive a personal visitation by Mormon Jesus, but will instead see his words in the chat room. They will see his words, and handle them with their own hands, or at least use their hands to sweep their pointers across Mormon Jesus' words using their mice.

That's okay. As long as the testimony is worded in such a way as to imply a personal visitation, I still get the prestige. Unlike Joseph Smith's eight witnesses of the plates who "never saw them [with their natural eyes] & hesitated to sign that instrument for that reason, but were persuaded to do it," I have such faith that I will need no persuading to sign my name to an exaggerated testimony of my experience of Mormon Jesus.

[_Sethbag]

You can always see Mormon Jesus the way I already have. You won't even have to exaggerate - I've seen Mormon Jesus, via the magic of technology, many times already!

[_Uther]

Oh MJ, hear the words of my mouth..

I have pondered upon your mighty revelations.
And the thruthfullness thereof has been made manifest to me through much tears and laughter.(Not LOUD laughter).

Behold, I have a small white stone, and I kind of wondered if you could touch it?
So I could cut down on the electricity expences of my household.

And Lord? I have been hearing these voices in my head as of lately, prompting me with small whispers to do stuff..
Like beheading my drunk neighbour.
Is it thee Lord? Is this my Abrahamic test?
If I behead him, will I get a new Iphone? Or will you stay my hand at the very last second,
and promise to multiply my seed like the stars of the firmament?(I enjoy multiplying).

Speak Lord, thy servant listeneth.

[_MsJack]

Chris ~ When Mormon Jesus was appointing his witnesses, I suggested he call you, that I might sit at his right hand and you at his left. Alas, he rebuked me and told me that your faith was not yet ripe enough for being convinced by solid evidence.

Pray hard and have faith, and perhaps he will call you to the eight...

[_The Mighty Builder]

What have

MsJack
MrStakhanovite
LDSToronto

ever done to you to piss you off at them so much as to cast them as the Three Witness to you charade.

There is no charade here, The Mighty Builder. I saw what I saw---and I'm pleased that Mormon Jesus has seen fit to start using women as witnesses to divine events again. Who says eternal progression isn't true?

I'll also have you know that today I was vacuuming my floor, and I vacuumed in five minutes an amount of carpet that ordinarily would have taken ten minutes to vacuum, which freed up enough time for me to write this post and bear witness to you. There must be an overruling hand in that.

Right, Like anyone can take the word of a Non-Priesthood Holding Female Commodity.

[_MsJack]

Right, Like anyone can take the word of a Non-Priesthood Holding Female Commodity.

I held the priesthood pretty well just this morning.

[_CaliforniaKid]

Chris ~ When Mormon Jesus was appointing his witnesses, I suggested he call you, that I might sit at his right hand and you at his left. Alas, he rebuked me and told me that your faith was not yet ripe enough for being convinced by solid evidence.

Pray hard and have faith, and perhaps he will call you to the eight...

Ohhhh, I see. He doesn't want to compromise my free agency!

Well, thanks for sticking up for me. I'll keep praying hard!