Managing the Missionary Tsunami Efficiently

[_moksha]

As you well know, the recent inspiration of lowering the age of missionaries to age eighteen has lead to tsunami of new applicants. Usually that would be a cue for the heavenly choir to sing joyously, but it creates a problem when there are too few missionary slots available.

So what to do? You can't just raise the bar again, since a Mormon scorned is a member mourned.

Here are a few suggestions that come to mind:

1. Tell them about the danger of contracting a debilitating decades long impairment from la tourista in Bolivia, or perhaps suffering damage from answering a golden late night teaching opportunity to a lonely sumo wrestler in Japan. Let them know not to take their intestinal obligation to themselves lightly.

2. Remind the prospective Elders that seaside mission assignments to Saint-Tropez are rare and let the Young Women know that missions, handing out the most correct book to those passing by the Café Hemingwét on the corner of Rue d' la Mer and South Temple or serving the community by warning the foolish girls at the Moulin Rouge to use napkins before sitting on baguettes, are even rarer. Most Sisters are never invited to live at the Château Romney nor dine at the Maison du Mission President on snails and truffles. Do them a favor and ask them the questions they should be asking, such as "do you know know much about Fargo?" and "would you like to know more?".

3. Sustain their confidence that dating Megan Sally at BYU is equally important, at least until her RM comes home.

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[_moksha]

You can't just raise the bar again, since a Mormon scorned is a member mourned.

CFR. Where is your proof? Members leave because they wish to dress in plushy outfits and make cooing noises or else get miffed at arbitrary decisions made by those Johnny-come-latelys upstarts at Maxwell.

Do them a favor and ask them the questions they should be asking, such as "do you know know much about Fargo?" and "would you like to know more?".

I see that once again you are snubbing Pocatello in favor of some more metropolitan-like town. Et tu Penguin?

[_honorentheos]

Members leave because they wish to dress in plushy outfits and make cooing noises

Guilty as charged.